Greg Olsen found the right person to play himself in a hypothetical Hollywood production, although the new Seattle Seahawks tight might want Will Ferrell to work on his core muscles a bit before that ever happens.
Seahawks fans better hope that the real Olsen’s physique does not resemble that of the actor and comedian, who impersonated the player Thursday during a team teleconference.
The Seahawks shared a video of a portion of the meeting, which started with coach Pete Carroll welcoming some of the team’s newest acquisitions. He introduced Olsen, a two-time Pro Bowler who signed a one-year, $7-million contract with Seattle this offseason.
But the next person on the screen was not the former member of the Chicago Bears and Carolina Panthers — instead it was Ferrell, the actor and comedian who was a fixture around the USC football program during Carroll’s time as the Trojans’ coach.
“Look, I know what you’re thinking — I’m an older guy, I’m 36,” the 52-year-old Ferrell said in character as Olsen (who is actually 35). “But I’ve been working out, don’t worry. I mean, does this look like the body of a 36-year-old?”
Ferrell then lifted his Seahawks jersey to reveal a midsection that does not resemble that of a professional athlete of any age.
“I don’t think so,” Ferrell said in answer to his own question. “My body is a temple, I know that’s what you guys preach there. I’ve been doing a lot of yoga and nothing else. This is a yoga body.”
Ferrell’s version of Olsen had messages for several members of the organization.
— To quarterback Russell Wilson: “I love you. Let’s make a baby.”
— To offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer: “What I did mostly for Carolina is I drew up all my own plays, so I’m going to be adding a lot to the playbook. This one I just drew up: It’s called 90 Go Flywheel Kanye Starburst.”
— To tight end Luke Wilson: “I don’t know what you do in the offseason up there in Canada, but cut your ... hair and let’s play some football.”
— To special teams coordinator Brian Schneider: “I do not do special teams. Ever. Not even if all 52 guys are hurt.”
— To Carroll: “I really appreciate the fact that you’re going to allow me to actually do broadcasting during real games, so I’m only gonna play about 12 plays a game.”
The real-life Olsen seemed to enjoy the joke, flabby abs and all.
“Everybody has taken a moment to wonder who would star in a movie about them-self. I now have my answer,” Olsen wrote on Instagram. “What a great welcome to the @seahawks by Will Ferrell and @petecarroll. Well played.”