Pitching a fit over cricket

Apparently, chaos reigns in cricket’s Indian Premier League, and we’re not talking about a few grass stains on those spiffy white pants they wear.

First, on Friday, spinner Harbhajan Singh, captain of the Mumbai Indians, slapped an opposing player after a loss. He was given an 11-match suspension and fined 100% of his game fee.

The next day, the Daily Telegraph reported that cheerleaders would be banned from a Premier League tournament in Mumbai. State Home Minister Siddharam Mhetre told the paper, “The scantily clad foreign girls’ dances are obscene and do not gel with Indian sensibilities, culture and ethos. These are things meant for foreigners and not us. . . .”

He may be right.

Violence between players? Scantily clad cheerleaders? Toss in a rant by Charles Barkley and three minutes of commercials for every 45 seconds of actual game time and cricket may finally be ready for a mainstream American audience.

Comparing pitches

Two things about the slapping incident that show how cricket differs from baseball:

* Singh attacked after a 66-run loss (Mitch Williams plays cricket?). In baseball, the response would have been to throw at an opponent’s head during the game.

* CNN reported that Shanthakumaran Sreesanth, the player Singh struck, was seen weeping on television after the incident. Well, as we all know, there’s no crying in baseball.

Trivia time

Army’s Caleb Campbell was selected by the Detroit Lions on Saturday. Who was the first Army player ever taken in the NFL draft?

Boston pops

Tampa Bay pitcher James Shields, bemoaning that the Rays’ home games were packed with Boston Red Sox fans last weekend, told the St. Petersburg Times, “I don’t think it’s a good thing. When you see all red out there, it’s pretty disappointing.”

Relax, James. It’s St. Petersburg, the retirement capital of the world. When most of those residents recall the Red Sox’s World Series championship, they’re thinking about that Ruth kid who won two games.

Keeping score

The Wonderlic test, used by the NFL to try to weed out wonder-whats from the wunderkinds, came into play again over the weekend, as USC’s John David Booty and Kentucky’s Andre Woodson reportedly had the lowest scores among drafted quarterbacks -- 14 out of a possible 50.

A quick check of the average for everyday professions: chemist, 31; programmer, 29; journalist, 26; sales, 24; bank teller, 22; clerical worker, 21; security guard, 17; warehouse, 15.

Of course, any test that ranks journalists above warehouse workers has to be taken with a grain of salt.

Zoom zoom

Gas prices are now causing some real problems.

Those involved in the NASCAR Craftsman Trucks Series and ARCA RE/MAX Series are concerned that the skyrocketing cost of fuel is putting the squeeze on their passion for driving in circles with vehicles that get four miles per gallon.

Frank Kimmel, nine-time ARCA points champion, told the Kansas City Star, “If you run 300 miles for the weekend, divide that by four [mpg] and multiply by seven [dollars per gallon], and you’ll have it.”

OK, four goes into . . . multiply . . . uh, carry the three . . . add . . . dang, is there math on the Wonderlic test?

Trivia answer

Doc Blanchard, who was taken third overall in 1946 by the Pittsburgh Steelers but chose to become a military pilot instead.

And finally

Philadelphia 76ers forward Thaddeus Young, after his team Sunday blew a 10-point halftime lead against the Detroit Pistons: “We learned that you can’t get calm against the Pistons. You have to keep putting your foot down on their throats.”

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chris.foster@latimes.com