To These Old Eyes, It Appears That Bramble Is Bush

You gotta love boxing. Laugh a minute. Here’s Livingstone Bramble, pulling out a Ray Mancini voodoo doll before their fight and sticking pins in the doll’s little eyeballs. I’m tellin’ ya, this Bramble, whatta riot! Just what da sport needs, know what I mean?

The NBA is often criticized for its scheduling policy of each Eastern Conference team meeting each Western Conference team only twice during the regular season.

This scheduling probably hurts the league’s overall attendance, but it makes for great theater. Who wants the circus to come to town every week? Because the Lakers play the Celtics only twice, the drama and intensity of the two games is elevated to near playoff level.

Larry Bird, after Sunday’s game, to reporters asking if he got extra fired up to play the Lakers: “Not really.”

Larry Bird, a minute later, to a friend who expressed amazement at the unusually high level of intensity in the game: “Didn’t I tell you?”

So the veteran NBA All-Stars are down on rookie Michael Jordan, accusing him of being a hotdog. Why? He kept his sweat pants on during the first round of the slam-dunk contest.

Jordan should realize that this type of shameless hotdogging and arrogance is frowned upon in the NBA.

Insiders say that some veterans on Jordan’s East All-Star team even tried to freeze the kid out during the game.

Actually Jordan’s no hotdog, just a salesman. He wore the sweats to get some national TV exposure for his new line of Nike brand Air Jordan shoes and sweats.

Major league baseball needs a new stat: CAP--Current Autograph Price. More and more players are selling their certified, notarized autographs by mail order for whatever price the market will bear.

The CAP, similar to a stock-market quote, would give a quick, accurate reading of a player’s public popularity level, more so than All-Star vote totals or salary figures.

Most of the players who sell their certified autographs say they still sign autographs in public, for free. Doggone nice of ‘em.

I’m dreading the day I see a kid approach a big star and ask: “Can I have your autograph, Joe? You got change for a $20?”

Good Timing Award: To Pat Riley, who chalked up NBA coaching victory No. 200 Sunday, on Magic Johnson Day. Better luck getting a slow news day for No. 300, Riles.

Experts say the Celtics will falter in the playoffs because of a lack of bench strength after the sixth or seventh man.

That’s what people said about the Lakers in 1980, when they were playing only seven guys every game. The Lakers went to Phoenix for the Western Conference semifinals and were running the bench-strong Suns into the sand.

Joe Gilmartin, a Phoenix columnist, lamented in print: “The Lakers’ lack of depth is killing the Suns.”

For those of you keeping score in the Magic vs. Bird rivalry: It’s 10 games to 10, with one championship apiece.

Magic’s team beat Bird’s team once in college, in the NCAA final. In 19 Lakers-Celtics meetings since Bird and Magic arrived, the Lakers have won 9 and lost 10.

Free advice to USC: Forget about building a huge basketball arena, or refurbishing the Sports Arena.

The only hope for USC basketball is a 5,000-seat, on-campus arena. Pack all the seats close to the court. Build a modern pit, intimate, noisy, fun.

You need to bring back basketball atmosphere .

Last Saturday, the combined attendance for USC vs. Arizona at the Sports Arena and UCLA vs. Arizona State at Pauley Pavilion was 15,106. The previous Monday, a pro wrestling card at the Sports Arena drew 15,121.

There was a big difference between the 7,223 fans for USC vs. Arizona, and the 15,121 for the tag-team match--Andre the Giant and Junkyard Dog vs. Ken Patera and Big John Stud. The wrestling crowd was better behaved.

The USC fans pelted the floor with cups and popcorn at every questionable call by the officials. Wrestling fans are more sophisticated. They understand that referees are human and occasionally blow a call.