Cyndi Lauper,Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson have...

Cyndi Lauper,Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson have all had their portraits airbrushed onto sweat shirts by Ron Artis, so why not your dad? Artis will next appear Thursday through Saturday at I. Magnin, Beverly Hills, painting his 15-minute portraits, for which the model needn’t even be present. He works from photographs, drawings or anything else for that matter, but no X-rated or political matter, please. “My work is positive, fresh, beautiful and artsy,” he insists. And the average price tag is $50, including the sweat shirt.

Jim Palmer tried not to write another “holier than thou” fitness and grooming book, he says. In “Jim Palmer’s Way to Fitness” (Harper & Row: $17.95), the former Baltimore Orioles pitcher and spokesman for Jockey International dishes out advice that even weekend athletes can heed--and Palmer tells Listen that he has followed his own advice. “If you’re active in sports you figure it doesn’t matter if you abuse your body diet-wise,” he says. “Walk into any sports club in the country and you see all the wrong foods, like sodas and candy. Athletes do so much activity that they figure they burn off whatever they eat.” But since his release from the Orioles last May, Palmer says he’s made a conscientious effort to change his own diet, switching over to a high-carbohydrate, high-fiber, low-fat diet (“kinda like Pritikin”). “I played at 195 and now I weigh 188,” he boasts. As for exercise, Palmer believes in the obvious. “Why not try taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking at the far end of the lot where people can’t dent your car when they open their doors?”

What’s the “Perfect” look? John Travolta came into designer Nino Cerruti’s New York showroom to buy something to wear to a press screening and party for his latest film titled “Perfect.” Travolta picked out a dark blue herringbone wool suit, blue-and-white striped shirt and blue/black pin-dot tie. “He’s a perfect 40 long,” Cerruti’s Margaret Muldoon says, “and his body’s beautifully proportioned--not at all muscle-bound. The dark blue color looked great with his eyes.”

Vicky Tiel,famous for her sexy, draped cocktail dresses, and Fabrice, the man who put the bead back in evening wear, are the two newest designer names in the skin game. Both debuted fall collections for Pellicce BasCardi/E.R.I.K. Furs International. Tiel’s 20-piece collection is highlighted by mink T-shirts in bright pink, blue, yellow or white, a drop-dead red trench coat and a sable cocoon coat with an immense shawl collar fit for a movie queen. Fabrice’s offerings include a white mink that dips dramatically from front to back and features a jagged-edge beaded trim, a black fox oversize evening jacket with attached beaded vest and a floor-length, grand-opera cape in black Russian broadtail with black sable neck bow and black beaded capelet. “These are furs for a sophisticated woman who knows fashion and adds fur to her wardrobe each season the way other women add a cloth coat,” Pellicce BasCardi’s Dennis Basso says.

The fashion generation gap may be closing--at least for formal occasions. Jerry ver Dorn, who stars on CBS’ “Guiding Light” as attorney Ross Marler, was chosen by Raffinati as one of three soap stars to model the Robert Wagner Collection of formal wear for the firm’s first press kit. Ver Dorn apparently believes you’re never too young to learn the joys of wearing black tie. He tells Listen: “When I first brought my son, Jacob, home from the hospital, I bought him a little tux with tails to wear for the occasion. Unfortunately, he only wore it four times and then grew out of it.”

Vern Pingatore may be something special when it comes to cutting and coloring hair (Sally Field and Jessica Lange should know). But he’s no great shakes as a fashion reporter. We got wind of the fact that Pingatore has been tending the tresses of Lange and Field, so we checked in with him. Here’s how the conversation went. Listen: So, Vern, what did Jessica Lange wear when she came into the shop? Pingatore: I don’t remember. Listen: What did you talk about? Pingatore: Nothin’. Just goofy stuff. Listen: How about Sally Field--what’s she up to these days? Pingatore: She’s letting her hair grow. Hey, aren’t you gonna ask me what she wore? Listen: You mean you actually remember? Pingatore: Sure I do. The cutest little red shoes I ever saw.

Camp Beverly Hills held its first summer session Monday in New York’s Central Park. Campers included guests who were invited to the park’s Loeb Boathouse to preview the new Camp Beverly Hills fragrance--earmarked for “sophisticated bicoastals”--which will be available in August by mail order and at the shop in Beverly Hills. CBH owners Jeff Stein and John Lasker brought out Kentia palm trees, displays of tropical fruit and the CBH sportswear line to help create the proper atmosphere. The cast of the hit Broadway play “Doubles,” who wore their tennis uniform costumes, were also on hand and were billed as “athletic thespians who would shop at Camp Beverly Hills.” Stein says he picked the park as campsite because “the fragrance is sporty, casual and fun, and we wanted the party to be in keeping with the spirit of Camp Beverly Hills.”

Swami Tommy’s having a sale: For once, our junk mail wasn’t junky at all. It was a huge post card featuring a photo of Maxfield shop owner Tommy Perse, decked out in swami attire, surrounded by elephants. The copy read: “Maxfield’s Spiritual Satisfaction Sale (under the guidance of Swami Tommy.”) We phoned the shop and spoke with Perse’s British assistant Deirdre Wheaton. We asked: Why call it a spiritual satisfaction sale? “Well, it’s sort of a California-mellow kind of thing,” she said. “You know, along with Perrier water and all that. Also, people do get a lot of spiritual satisfaction from buying clothes on sale. I mean, who hasn’t gone out and bought a whole bunch of reduced-price clothes just to cheer themselves up?” The sale runs Saturday and Sunday.

Italian Stallions take note. Aramis Inc. is introducing a new men’s fragrance in early October called Tuscany. It’s created in Firenze, Italy, and the press info says it “captures the spirit of a vibrant land where contemporary style thrives on the secure roots of history, culture and the passionate nature inherent in every Italian man.”

Fathers into fitness may be interested in receiving a different kind of gift come Father’s Day. Abercrombie & Fitch in Beverly Hills has some suggestions in the “ultimate” category. For example: an executive golf-ball set for $225, which consists of two golf balls along with two vermeil (gilded silver) ball markers, all contained in a leather case. Then there are the 35-pound, 24-karat gold-plated dumbbells for $350. And then there’s the one-of-a-kind, 24-karat gold-plated 10-speed bicycle. Made in Italy by Cycles Gschwend, it speeds along on mahogany wheel rims and has handlebars of hand-sewn leather. Price tag: $3,000.