Here’s a Big Hug for Kareem, Other Assorted Awards

A memory:

It was opening night of the regular season, 1979. The Lakers were in San Diego to play the Clippers.

The Lakers featured a rookie guard named Magic Johnson, believed by many pro basketball experts to be too childishly exuberant for the grim reality of NBA play.

The Lakers also featured a veteran center named Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, believed by many of those same experts to be too old (32), or simply too bored, for the intensity of NBA play.

The Lakers beat the rag-tag Clippers that night. They beat them on a Kareem skyhook at the final buzzer.

Kareem was trotting casually toward the sideline when he was intercepted at midcourt by Magic, who was overcome with joy. Magic wrapped Kareem in a hug, squeezed him like a boa constrictor.

What could Kareem do? He laughed, maybe the first time in years he had laughed on a basketball court.

Last Sunday afternoon in the Boston Garden, with time running out on the Celtics, Magic Johnson found Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in front of the Laker bench. Magic squeezed Kareem like a boa constrictor.

Sometimes the experts are wrong.

Some assorted NBA final series awards . . .

Media Darling Award: To Larry Bird. In a time when many sports superstars are retreating into shells to escape the media, Bird is leaping out.

Throughout the series, win or lose, the once-wary Bird was unfailingly patient, cooperative and even humorous with the waves of media.

Enough, Already Award: To K.C. Jones, for whining about the new 2-3-2 format for the final, crying about how it cost his team the home-court advantage.

Next season, the NBA should give the team with the best record its choice of opening at home or on the road. Had the Celtics been asked to choose this time, do you think they would have elected to open the Big Series with two games at the Forum?

Tell you what, K.C. Next year, you guys can open at the Forum, and bring your own floor. Us folks in L.A. have become kind of fond of that funky, oversized, parquet cribbage board.

Unsung Hero Award: To Bill Sharman, whose retired jersey hangs in the rafters of the Garden, but whose heart now belongs to L.A.

“Fantastic,” Sharman said, slipping all but unnoticed through the Lakers’ postgame celebration Sunday.

Jinx Award Award: to Larry Bird. What two baseball players will be brave enough to accept the NL and AL MVP awards this season, after what has happened in ’85 to NFL MVP Dan Marino and now NBA MVP Larry Bird?

Detour Award: To President Reagan, for getting the Lakers home a half day late. When will we be spared these painfully awkward PR scenes in the Rose Garden?

Don’t Bother Running for Mayor Award: to K.C. Jones. Strolling through Logan (Boston) Airport Monday morning, I overheard several different groups of local folks ripping K.C.’s coaching job in the final.

“He shoulda played (Greg) Kite and (Quinn) Buckner more,” one Boston griper gripped.

Kite and Buckner? Good God, man, this was the NBA final!

RIP Award: to the phrase, “fatigue factor,” except when it is applied to TV viewers forced to listen to Tommy Heinsohn for two weeks.

Funny, the Celtics never ran into the dreaded “fatigue factor” until they ran into the dreaded “Laker fast break factor.”

Mr. Consistency Award: to Red Auerbach, the patron saint of bad sportsmanship, win or lose. Here’s Red, after Sunday’s game: “No, I don’t think the better team won. We had a bad game, is all. We didn’t shoot.” Then he stormed out of the Celtic locker room.

Bad Idea Award: to Kareem, who said after Game 5: “What you want to do with (Kevin) McHale is make him take awkward shots.” That’s the only kind of shot McHale takes, but they all go in.

As a result of this series, McHale and James Worthy have been officially promoted to the highest level of stars in the game, the top 10 or 12 players in sneakers.

Crimestopper Award: to Johnny Most, Celtic radio play-by-play man. The ever-vigilant Most recognized Pretty Boy Pat Riley and Kombat Kurt Rambis from their post-office posters. Most repeatedly identified the two miscreant thugs during his broadcasts. Despite Most’s efforts, Riley and Rambis blew town Monday, one step ahead of the law.

Nitpicker Award: to anyone who agrees with me that the Lakers’ record against the Celtics should be 1-7, not 1-8. L.A. fans, and the teams, should not be held accountable for any sins committed by the Minneapolis Lakers, Cleveland Rams, Brooklyn Dodgers or Oakland Raiders.

Best Supporting Actor Award: to Michael Cooper. All but lost in the tumult and shouting was Cooper’s consistently clutch shooting and aggressive play.

Nasty Rumor Award: to whoever put out the word that Boston clam chowder is really nothing but melted quiche.