Random Observations to Pass Some Time on a Gloomy, Rainy Day

Around the sports beat . . .

Forget about Jack Clark. Why is it opposing teams insist on pitching to LeRoy Irvin?

How are the folks in San Francisco holding up under the strain of the 49ers’ early-season mini-collapse? Here’s sportswriter Ira Miller’s lead in Monday’s San Francisco Chronicle: “It’s time to send the flowers.”

Joe Montana, who a month ago was more sacred than the cable cars, is being criticized in San Francisco for allowing his wife to have a baby during the football season. And according to one Bay Area newspaper, several callers have inquired about whether Montana has a drug problem.

Montana does. He has a problem lately with getting drug down by opposing linemen. Or should that be dragged?

I love Al Michaels and Jim Palmer on the Series telecasts, and Tim McCarver is OK. Michaels is constantly stirring things up, encouraging intelligent second-guessing--first-guessing, actually--of the managers. Palmer has become the Cy Young of baseball color analysts.

Still, in some World Series soon, I would like to see Vin Scully and Pete Rose team up at the mike.

Is there any hope for Jim Palmer? First he tried his hand at baseball pitching, then underwear modeling. Now it’s TV broadcasting. Someday the poor guy will find his niche.

If the Rams think the local press is too critical of the team for its lack of offense, they should consider the plight of the Cleveland Browns. The Browns went into Sunday’s game with a nice record, held the Raiders to 319 net yards, battled to the wire behind a rookie quarterback, played some courageous goal-line defense. A Cleveland columnist referred to the game as “The Browns’ folderoo.”

By the way, the last time a rookie quarterback beat the Raiders was back in 1971. The kid’s name was Plunkett.

Lester Hayes rates Brown cornerback Frank Minnifield the second-most effective bump-zone bumper in the league. Said Hayes, “He obviously learned from studying films of the master, Lester Hayes.”

Has Gentleman Bill Walton instantly become infused with Celtic spirit? Walton and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar engaged in a heated elbow slash-off last Thursday night. It was a prelim bout, as it turns out.

“I certainly have some Celtic spirit, yes,” Walton said with a smile.

Or is it just that Kareem is becoming mean and crotchety in his old age?

The Cleveland fans love Bernie Kosar. The kid has style. He trots onto the field, helmet in hand, to delay until the last second squishing his hair style. And Kosar looks as if he can run a team.

The question is, does Broadway Bernie fit in here? This is a team that slugs and slogs. Repeatedly Sunday afternoon, the Browns ran the ball on third and long. Kosar with the Browns is kind of like George Jetson coming to live with the Flintstones.

Let’s put relief pitchers’ glory in perspective. If we keep track of saves, why shouldn’t we also keep track of save opportunities blown?

Should be quite a passing duel Sunday between Dieter Brock and Joe Montana, who had a combined 165 yards passing Sunday.

John Tudor is just what the game of baseball needs--a Mr. Personality. Apparently Tudor got out of bed on the wrong side of October. He was grumpy before pitching in the National League championship series, storming out of a preSeries press conference. And he was grouchy after winning the Series opener. We just might have ourselves a budding Steve Carlton here.

Rumor in Cleveland is that the Browns like to keep their field soggy and loose, to turn games into defensive struggles, since they don’t have an offense. During timeouts, an army of groundskeepers runs onto the field, the sod ‘n clod squad, replacing the huge, mushy divots, but it’s like spitting into Lake Erie.

It Had to Happen Dept.: Dancing Barry has signed a shoe contract.

Add D. Barry: The versatile hoofer for hire recently finished second in a hog-calling contest at the L.A. County Fair. He got docked by the judges for wearing a non-traditional costume--a gold tux.

How you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm, after they see Barry?

How much are Pat Ewing’s feet worth? The Knick rookie has reportedly signed a shoe contract for $550,000 a year. Per foot. The question is, are they basketball shoes or boxing shoes?

Consensus from the Browns’ locker room Sunday: The Raiders were lucky to win. A free observation, from a student of history: Winners get all the luck.

Remember just four months ago, when the national media were trying to blow out of proportion the animosity between the Lakers and Celtics?

“We don’t hate the (Lakers, Celtics, pick one),” the players on both sides were saying. “They’re just another tough opponent. We simply respect them and want to beat them.”

If there is one juicy, heated, traditional, Hatfield-and-McCoy rivalry left in professional sports today, outside of wrestling, this is it.