The Year in Review

There were some major developments in sports in the Valley in 1985. And there were some very minor developments. There were some heartwarming stories, and there were stories that gave you heartburn. Some people earned our respect, some earned our sympathy. There were heroes and stars and dazzling performances. And there were people who tripped over their own feet or their own tongues. Now that it has come to a screeching halt, put your feet up and take a look back at the way we were.

BUT CAN SHE PUTT?

Certainly not the best athlete in the Valley. Probably not even the best athlete in her own house. But Donna Duke’s achievements soar above all others. Thirteen times the 54-year-old golfer lofted a ball off a tee and watched as it dropped into the hole. The odds of ever getting one hole-in-one are 8,000 to 1. Her aces were witnessed by more than two dozen people, but she knew she still had doubters. “Maybe they think I have a trained pet gopher who picks the ball up with his teeth and drops it into the hole,” she said.

Let’s get a word about the streak from Norris McWhirter, editor of the Guinness Book of World Records, a man who has credited James Johnson of Terra Alta, West Virginia with the world record for a “beard of bees” when he allowed 35,000 of the insects to swarm on his face.

McWhirter’s reaction to Donna Duke’s 13 holes-in-one?

“Hmmm. It sounds rather freakish to me.”

THE RUN-AND-SHOOT MYSELFIN THE FOOT

Tom Keele, the Cal State Northridge football coach, switched to a run-and-shoot offense for 1985 following a dismal 1984 season: “What have you got to lose?” he asked.

Four months later, Keele got the answer: Your job.

CSUN fired him after the NCAA uncovered evidence of an illegal tryout held by Keele for punters. School administrators added that other little things, like a 4-7 record this season and comments from a star player that his teammates seemed to enjoy losing, contributed to the firing.

We must, however, admire Keele’s honesty when he was confronted by administrators.

“He said, ‘Yeah. I did it. I broke the law. I knew it was wrong,”’ said Athletic Director Bob Hiegert.

There were earlier indications that Keele’s future was about to take a wrong turn. Before he installed the new offense, he bought a book on the subject, “Run And Shoot Football: The Now Attack.”

The book was printed in 1965.

SUCH A TANGLED WEBB AT CS NORTHRIDGE

Another CSUN casualty. Bill Webb, the Matador men’s track and field coach, was voted the 1984 California Collegiate Athletic Association Coach of the Year. His teams placed in the national Division II top 10 six consecutive seasons. On April 22, Webb received a glowing letter of praise from the CSUN athletic department. The very next day, Webb got another letter from the CSUN athletic department. This one has several paragraphs and much legal talk. It says, in essence, “You’re Fired.”

On May 4, CSUN won the CCAA Track and Field Championship. On May 6, CSUN announces that Webb, who it fired two weeks earlier, has been named the national javelin development coordinator for The Athletic Congress.

Webb filed a suit against the school in an effort to regain his job. The legal wrangling is still going on. And through it all, Webb, the most successful track and field coach in CSUN’s history, is a confused man.

“I have no idea what the problem is,” he said. “I’ve been trying to sort out what happened, but I just can’t figure it out.”

CSUN administrators refuse to say why Webb was fired. Lennin Glass, a spokesman for the university president, offered this: “We have to ask other questions beside what is his won-loss record. Does he work well with other coaches? Does he get along with other people in his department?”

Stay tuned.

NO RUNS, NO HITS, NO PERSPECTIVE

Kathy Slaten, CSUN’s All-American softball pitcher, author of 18 no-hitters, announced on April 17 that she was quitting the sport.

“There’s too much pressure,” she said. “Just thinking about losing burns my stomach out.”

Her coach, Gary Torgeson, offers this bold insight: “I think she puts too much pressure on herself.”

But on Sept. 12, she’s back at CSUN.

“The pressure won’t be any different,” she said. “I still expect to throw a no-hitter everytime I step on the mound. I feel such tremendous pressure because of the thought of letting everyone down, of letting my teammates down.”

Golly, can you imagine the pressure Slaten has endured, pitching in all those Division II games? Hopefully, 1986 will bring her some relief from the unbearable stress of playing softball. But knowing her, she’ll take up something just as tension-filled. Like gardening.

January

Yeah? I Dare You To Do It Again.

One second before halftime in a Hart vs. Burbank boys basketball game, Hart’s Kevin Honaker sank a 75-foot shot. “I told my kids at halftime, ‘It was just lucky,”’ said Burbank Coach Russ Keith. It probably was a lucky shot. Even luckier, perhaps, than the 50-foot shot Honaker made with one second left in the game.

Gimme An ‘O’, gimme an ‘A’, gimme a Yeeowww!

The fourth season of basketball on Oak Park High’s carpeted gymnasium is well underway, and so is the scathing criticism of the rug. Former Oak Park High Coach Paul Robinson, asked his opinion of playing basketball on the broadloom surface, replied, “I don’t use that kind of language anymore.” A rival coach said, “Several of my players had open sores on their arms and legs that were oozing for several days” after an encounter with CarpetBall.

Sour Grapes Is What The Big Boys Eat

Tom Petranoff, the world record-holder in the javelin, on his 10th-place showing in the 1984 Olympics: “What a difference. You win the gold medal and you’re making $250,000 and doing Wheaties commercials. You lose and you ain’t (bleep).”

It’s A Small World After All

Mike Lopez, a former Notre Dame High star who went to UC Irvine to play basketball, quit after one season and returned to CSUN. “It was my first time away from home and I was homesick,” he said. “I came home every weekend.”

He should have taken up cross-country. He could have run home every weekend.

A Mickey Mouse Decision

The Chaminade basketball tournament in Canoga Park attracted Riordan High of San Francisco, whose coach kept his players in a hotel in Anaheim. He said he did it because he liked Disneyland. It took them an hour and 45 minutes to get to Canoga Park for one game and two hours and 35 minutes for another game. “It seems like there are two accidents on every freeway around here,” said Coach Ron Isola.

Isola’s players should be thankful their coach hadn’t seen the beaches at Puerto Vallarta before the tournament.

February

Right. But They Sure Didn’t Make It By Investing In The USFL

Pierce College athletic director Bob O’Connor, whose school was the site of an LA Express football game, on a plan to bring the team to the Valley permanently: “What you could do is sell shares of stock for, say, $10,000, and give people free season tickets until that amount is paid off. Then they still own a share of the club.

“It could be done. There’s a lot of people in the Valley with money.”

CSUN And UCR Make Like NHL

When CSUN and UC Riverside met in a men’s basketball game, there were four brawls, 48 personal fouls, three technicals and two players ejected. And there was still one minute remaining in the game. When a fifth fight broke out, with 32 seconds left in the game, both benches emptied onto the court. The two officials turned away, walked off the court and went home as the players slugged it out.

A Real Quarterback Sneak

Tom Sullivan of the USFL’s Denver Gold, who held training camp on the CSUN campus and put the players in an off-campus, co-ed dormitory: “I know right across from us there were two rooms of girls. That’s a little tough for training camp, to avoid a temptation like that. But I think most of the guys have managed so far.

“And the guys that haven’t managed haven’t been caught yet.”

Lucky She Didn’t Marry The Equestrian Coach

Canoga Park wrestling coach Rudy Logo, taking off his team jacket and leaving it in the team’s cramped and sweaty practice facility: “My wife won’t let me wear the jacket around the house. She says it smells too much like this room.”

And One Time This Train Ran Over Me, And . . .

Karin Carmichael, an accountant trying out for the L.A. Scandals, a women’s tackle football team, on the danger involved in the sport: “I’ve gotten hurt in other sports. I was also in a car accident and was hit by a car once. Hurt is relative.”

I’ve Also Learned A Lot About This Game From Moammar Kadafi

Reseda High basketball Coach Dennis King, who kept three starters out of a crucial game because they missed practice: “If it’s good enough for Bobby Knight, it’s good enough for me.”

This Broken Leg Only Hurts When I Walk

Westlake High basketball player Michelle Stevens, returning to action after missing several games with a broken hand, asked if she was in any pain: “No, it only hurts when the ball hits it.”

With A Special Appearance By An Elf With A Fat Lip

Christine Schenck, a ballet director in Chatsworth, after ballet dancer-basketball player Ariana Lallone of the Buckley School in Sherman Oaks got elbowed in the eye during a basketball game: “Great. I’ve got a Sugarplum Fairy with a black eye.”

March

What You Better Not Do Is Let Him Hear You Say That

Todd Bowser, Montclair Prep’s 6-8, 270-pound basketball player, scored 37 points and grabbed 21 rebounds in a win over Brethren High. Said Brethren Coach Rich Thomas: “My strategy originally was to break his legs. But they said I’d better not do that.”

Let’s Hope She Never Gets a Driver’s License

Michelle Miller of Simi Valley High’s soccer team, on her game-tying goal, her first goal of the year: “The ball was coming my way and I knew this was my opportunity. So I just closed my eyes and kicked it. I knew it would go in.”

Don’t Take It Personally, Goe

Former Crespi High standout Joe Carrabino, who had a brief and unsuccessful tryout with the NBA’s Denver Nuggets after a basketball career at Harvard University: “The first day, they misspelled my name on my locker. They had it ‘Carobino.’ Right away I’m a little suspicious of my value to the franchise.”

I Could Have Sworn I Had Opened It

Former LAPD officer Al Goossen, whose sons operate the Ten Goose Gym in North Hollywood, asked about a picture showing him leading away a battered and bloodied man in handcuffs: “That guy tried to shoot me in the stomach. He got hurt when we were trying to get him into the car. The car door was closed.”

Prayer Is Answered ... Answer Is “No”

Harvard High basketball Coach Dave Waterhouse, on being in the Pioneer League with powerful Morningside and Centennial: “I’m not even going to scout them. I see no point in scouting them. We don’t have much of a prayer against them.” In two games, Morningside beat the Harvard Saracens by a total of 81 points and Centennial beat them by 52 points in two games.

OK, OK, We’ll Get A Mountain

Bill Lovelace, organizer of the first Valley Marathon, speaking in March about the planned course: “We don’t have a mountain to run around, we don’t have a lake to run around and we don’t have a centralized city like New York.”

The race was canceled two months later.

Like Father, Like Ego

Reggie Smith Jr., son of the brash and cocky former major league outfielder, on being a sophomore on the Montclair Prep varsity baseball team: “If I showed them what I knew in baseball, it would be like I was showing off.”

They Damn Near Killed Me

Middleweight Robert Jackson, after being knocked out just 1:22 into the first round by Michael Nunn in Nunn’s local professional boxing debut at the Reseda Country Club: “I’ve fought guys much tougher than Nunn.”

I Didn’t Mean Here, I Meant There

Cory Snyder, the Canyon High baseball star drafted out of BYU by the Cleveland Indians, had this to say in a diary he wrote for The Times after a good showing in a spring training game in Arizona: “Today I played third, got a hit and drove in two runs, backhanded a couple of balls hit down the line and threw the guys out. After that I thought to myself, ‘I’m here. I’ve made it.”’ Two days later, the Indians sent him down to their Double-A farmclub in Waterbury, Conn., where he opened the season by going 0-for-21 at the plate.

But He’ll Be There Shortly

The power-hitting Snyder, however, is seen as a sure-bet for a major league career. Said Waterbury Manager Jack Aker: “Cory is the type of player who could carry a team in the major leagues. He can be a guy to build an organization around.”

You’d Be Stupid Not To Be Confident

Bret Saberhagen, the former Cleveland High star who crushed American League batters during the regular season and the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series on his way to the Cy Young Award, had this to say heading into his brilliant season: “People ask me if I’m awed making the big leagues so fast and pitching against people who were my idols a short time ago. The answer is yes and no. Yes, I’m surprised it happened so fast, and no, I’m not awed. Sure, it was exciting pitching against guys like Rod Carew and Reggie Jackson, but I’m not awed by those guys. If anything, their reputations make me want to get them out a little more.

“I guess I’m either confident or stupid.”

And Someday I Hope To Lose Everything I Own In Ojai

Former major league pitchers Ken McMullen and Jim Colborn, along with ex-mortician Jim Biby, announced they would purchase the Class A California League Lodi Gulls for $125,000 and move the minor league team to Ventura County. They rejected requests to leave the team in Lodi for at least one more year. “If we operated in Lodi the first season, it would be at a loss,” said McMullen. “We would much rather operate it in Ventura County and lose money there.”

Hey, No You Didn’t

Former San Fernando High pitcher Larry White, returning to Los Angeles with the Dodgers from spring training: “I can go back home now and say, ‘Hey, I made it.”’ Five days later, the Dodgers released him.

April

Of Course Not. Trust Me

Crespi High baseball player Dave Lien, on the subject of chewing tobacco, which is prohibited by school officials: “My brother-in-law almost got cancer from it. He had these white sores in his mouth. My parents get on me a lot about chewing. Hey, they aren’t going to see this, are they?”

Do As I Say, Not As I Do, Dammit

Granada Hills High baseball Coach Darryl Stroh, commenting on a rash of obscenities being chanted by several Kennedy High fans during a game: “That stuff really bothers me. We’re not gonna’ allow that. And if our guys start yelling obscenities, I’ll throw their asses right out of here.”

Points and Plugs Keep Him Running

Manager Joe Goossen, after his fighter, Frankie Duarte, lost a decision to a fast-moving, seldom-punching WBA bantamweight champion Richie Sandoval: “I don’t mind if my fighter is outboxed or outpunched, but he was outrun. This was supposed to be a tuneup fight for Sandoval, but it was more like he was the guy being tuned up on.”

May

He’s Safe. Uh, He’s Out. I Think.

Umpire Danny Harker, following a bench-clearing brawl between San Fernando and Kennedy after Harker reversed his call on a play at the plate: “I butchered the call. I’m the kind of umpire who will change a call if I’m wrong. I knew I would get flak for it, but I didn’t know there would be a fight.”

Love Means Never Having to Count To 10

Female boxer Cora Long, after her trainer-husband ordered a 190-pound male sparring partner to punch his 128-pound boxing wife in the face as they walked to the center of the ring to tap gloves prior to the start of a training session: “He wanted to see if I was tough enough, if I could really take it. I felt my feet sink to the floor, but I never fell. I had a black eye for a few weeks.”

June

Odd Years at Glendale

Bill Reinhard, as his retirement approached following a 37-year stint as coach, athletic director and administrator at Glendale Community College: “I’ll be a little solemn as I leave this place. You don’t spent 30 some-odd years at a place and just walk away from it cold turkey.”

Geez, Who Was The Runnerup?

Jeff Engilman is named Parent of the Year by a South-Central Los Angeles Community Group. Earlier in the year, Engilman was fired as football coach at Grant High after being accused of drawing female genitalia on football tackling dummies and ordering his players to “attack.”

Yeah, But Let’s See Palmer Putt With A Dead Chicken

Golf trick-shot artist Mike Smith, unloading his arsenal--a baseball bat with a 6-iron screwed into the top, a rubber hose with the head of a driver attached to it, a tennis racket with a 7-iron welded to the frame and a club with three collapsible joints in the shaft--on his career: “I played golf in college but I didn’t win much. I wasn’t serious enough about the game. I have never played golf real serious, which is, of course, evident to this day.”

August

OK, OK. But Can You Get Me Those Super Bowl Tickets Or Not?

CSUN football player Chris Robinson, son of Rams’ Coach John Robinson: “On the field I don’t want anyone to think of me as John Robinson’s son. He is John Robinson and I am Chris Robinson.”

September

For Dessert I’ll Have An Elk. He’ll Have A Rhino.

Pierce College linemen Pete Warda (250 pounds) and Matt Hickman (285 pounds), both a bit on the fleshy side, about their eating habits: “My father cooks a 15-pound turkey every Sunday,” Warda said, “and I eat about three-quarters of it right then. But most days I just eat a steak or a couple of chickens. For breakfast I eat 12 eggs, four bananas and a quart of milk.” Hickman says, “This morning I had four ham and cheese sandwiches. My favorite is this Chinese place. I order a super deluxe chow mein and shrimp plate, the kind they make for an entire family. I can eat three of those.”

October

Let ‘Em Eat Tape

Ross Snyder, athletic trainer at Pierce College and one of three area junior college trainers who were told their jobs are being abolished by the LA Community College District because of budget problems: “I guess the district isn’t too worried about kids who get hurt.”

November

On A Clear Day . . .

Tony McAndrews, the Colorado State basketball coach, to CSUN Coach Pete Cassidy after the Matadors’ opening-weekend swing through Laramie, Wyo.: “Laramie isn’t the end of the earth. But you can see it from there.”

While I Think Of It, Could You Drive This Nail Through My Lip?

Cassidy’s team lost by 37 points to Wyoming and by a point to Colorado State to open the season. It was zero degrees outside in both Laramie and Fort Collins, Colo. The team plane circled Denver for an hour because of fog. And the bus driver got lost and spent two hours in Laramie locating the team’s motel. Cassidy’s reaction to the disastrous journey?

“I’m glad we came on this trip.”

December

Yep, Nothing Worse Than Graduating With Too Many Units

Moorpark College football Coach Jim Bittner, asked about reports that several players were about to drop classes they were failing to avoid getting an F: “Yes, some of our players were contemplating dropping classes, either because they weren’t getting good enough grades or because they didn’t need the units.”

Right, Jim!

Now I’m Really Irrigated

A Tehachapi High football player, reacting to taunts of “farmers, farmers” directed at the team by Montclair Prep fans and noting his team leading, 17-7, in the closing minute, turned to the rival fans and yelled, “Now you can go home and tell your mamas that a bunch of farmers kicked your butts.”

Turn the Other Cheeks

During a basketball game between Taft and Cleveland, with 1,500 fans watching, three Taft students stood up, dropped their pants and mooned. They were immediately escorted from the gym by school officials, who apparently didn’t believe their explanation that their pants fell down because they had too much change in their pockets.