Here’s a Quiz to Test Your Readiness for Commercialfest XX

Are you really ready for the Super Bowl? Have you really been paying attention this season? Test yourself with the following NFL Quiz:

1. The “Super Bowl Shuffle” is:

--A rap-rock video performed by members of the Chicago Bears.

--A kitchen maneuver invented by Julia Child, during which she tosses large dinner salads with her feet.

--What John Robinson will use before dealing the cards at the Rams’ team poker party a week from Sunday.

2. The most talkative, outrageous McMahon regularly appearing on TV in 1985 was:

--Ed.

--Vince.

--Jim.

3. There seemed to be a proliferation of personal advertising this season. Which of the following items worn by players was not used as a billboard to display logos or other commercial plugs?

--Headbands.

--Wristbands.

--Neckbands.

--Caps worn during TV interviews.

--Gloves.

--The little towels tucked into football pants.

--Sides of shoes.

--Bottoms of shoes.

--Pajamas.

4. Patrick Sullivan got his job as general manager of the New England Patriots by:

--Presenting a resume outlining his impressive football organizational accomplishments.

--Winning the Massachusetts state lottery.

--Impressing team president Billy Sullivan and team Vice President Chuck Sullivan with his ability to take a punch.

5. Dieter Brock passed:

--Kidney stones.

--Gallstones.

--Like Fred Flintstone.

6. The most savage and senseless sack of the season, most experts agree, was:

--The sacking of Joe Theismann by Lawrence Taylor.

--The sacking of Marc Wilson by Bruce Clark.

--The sacking of the Honey Bears cheerleading team by the Chicago Bears’ management.

7. Detroit Lion fans spent the season waiting impatiently for:

--Darryl Rogers to officially announce his resignation from Arizona State. --The Silverdome roof to collapse again.

--The Detroit Tigers’ season to start.

8. Eric Dickerson plans to give each of his offensive linemen:

--A Rolex watch.

--A diamond ring.

--A copy of the “Super Bowl Shuffle” video.

9. The team with the biggest payroll in professional football was:

--The S.F. 49ers.

--The L.A. Raiders.

--The TCU Horned Frogs.

10. Which of the following caused the most grief for L.A. football fans: --Channel 4’s decision to televise the Raider-Patriot pregame show, followed by an Elvis Presley movie.

--Channel 2’s decision to televise the Ram-Bear pregame show, followed by the Ram-Bear game.

11. The 49ers’ failure to repeat as league champions can be blamed entirely on:

--Overall subconscious organizational complacency after the team’s big Super Bowl season.

--Conceptual and philosophical differences between the coaches, and failure to visualize and anticipate the problems inherent in defending a title.

--A snowball.

12. The sharp object that inflicted the most damage in the NFL this season was:

--Irving Fryar’s kitchen knife.

--The pin used to burst the 49ers’ balloon.

--Howard Cosell’s pen.

--Joe Namath’s tongue.

13. The NFL used TV replays extensively this season to show:

--Close, controversial referees’ decisions in order to assist the officials in calling a fair game.

--Exciting plays, to give fans a greater sense of drama.

--McDonald’s “McDLT” commercials.

14. In New England, Patriot fans are still pinching themselves because:

--They can’t believe the Patriots were able to beat the Raiders in L.A.

--They can’t believe the Patriots beat the Dolphins in Miami to earn a trip to the Super Bowl.

--They’re trying to sober up from the last Monday Night Football game in Foxboro.

15. Chicago quarterback Jim McMahon wears a headband:

--Because it keeps the sweat out of his eyes.

--Because it holds his brains in.

--Because it would hamper his mobility if he were to wear an adidas sandwich board.

16. Refrigerator Perry taught American kids a valuable lesson this season:

--That a physical handicap, like obesity, doesn’t have to stop you in the pursuit of your goals and dreams.

--That the underdog can often become the hero.

--That it’s really cool to chug-a-lug several cases of Coca-Cola.

17. If you are an opposing player, your greatest fear this year would be facing:

--The Rams in their matchup zone.

--The Bears in the blitz.

--The Raiders in their Coliseum tunnel.

18. Which of the following TV stars or recording artists would be most likely to challenge the prognosticative prowess of Jimmy the Greek?

--Oscar the Grouch.

--Smokey the Bear.

--Mott the Hoople.

Scoring: Football Whiz--5-9 correct; Smarter Than Most Head Coaches--10-14 correct; Genius--If you skipped this quiz and turned to the comics instead.