McHale’s Tongue Is as Sharp as His Elbows

Kevin McHale, the designated needler of the Boston Celtics, has been concentrating on his teammates this week. Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post passes along a couple of jabs.

On Danny Ainge: “He’s got to be the worst Mormon ever. He’s always lying and he cheats at golf. He’s the only guy I know of who could hit a red ball into the woods and hit a white ball coming back out. You hear his ball clanking off the trees. But then when he hits out, there’s not a nick on it. It looks like it came right out of the package.”

On Bill Walton: “He’s a walking time bomb. Whenever he walks by, we say, ‘Tick, tick, tick . . . ‘ He’s like an old car. He can go 1,000 miles or 80 games, whichever comes first. I figure he’s got about 10 minutes left in him.”

Add McHale: According to Ish Haley of the Dallas Times Herald, McHale was berating a Houston columnist for accusing him of breaking training when Walton broke in and said, “Calm down, McHale. I thought it was very factual.”

Walton kept interrupting until McHale said: “All you’re doing is encouraging bad writing. That’s how you got linked up with Patty Hearst.”

Add Walton: As he was being congratulated for his key offensive rebound and basket in Game 4, McHale said: “My gosh. He’s 7-3. He ought to be able to get a rebound like that. That 6-11 stuff is ridiculous.”

Here’s the quote, and guess who said it: “The NBA playoffs go on and on. It’s like a guy telling a bad joke for 15 minutes.”

Tom Heinsohn said it, before he was hired as a CBS analyst.

Trivia Time: Who is the only major leaguer who won a batting title while managing a team for a full season? (Answer below.)

Said new Golden State Coach George Karl, when asked what kind of players he likes: “I’m a size guy. Even if he’s tired, a 7-footer is a 7-footer.”

Now-it-can-be-told Dept.: Dominic DiMaggio, at an old-timers’ game, told Bill Parillo of the Providence Journal: “I always had to prove myself, even back in the sandlot days in San Francisco. Joe was the natural. Funny thing, every time we wanted to get up a game, we had to get Joe off the tennis courts in North Beach. Back then, Joe loved tennis as much as baseball, if not more.”

Add Dominic: When he was with the Boston Red Sox, he said he probably played harder against the New York Yankees than against anyone else.

Recalling a catch he made to rob Joe of a hit during the 56-game hitting streak, he said: “It was well into his streak, too. The next time up, he hits one into the seats in left. And as he was rounding the bases, he yelled, ‘Catch that one!’ ”

Trivia Answer: Lou Boudreau. He won the American League batting title in 1944 with a .327 average while managing the Cleveland Indians to a fifth-place tie with the Philadelphia Athletics.

Rogers Hornsby twice won batting titles while managing but neither time was he a full-season manager.

Quotebook

American League umpire Al Clark, on why he calls the Detroit Tigers’ manager, George Anderson: “I refuse to call a 52-year-old man Sparky.”