Clubhouse Hijinks : Paciorek Says It’s Nice to Have a Clown Around

“Be a clown, be a clown, all the world, loves a clown.”

Tom Paciorek, a major leaguer for the better part of 15 seasons, would like to think he has brought a little more than base hits and runs batted in to the teams he has played for. He believes his penchant for fun helps keep his teammates loose.

Paciorek is one of the few players around today who never seems to have lost his childhood attitude of playing for fun. It goes beyond practical jokes; from the time he came up through the Dodger organization until his current residence with the Texas Rangers, Paciorek has found playing baseball more than just a job. It has been a carnival joyride.

He may be nearing the end of the tour of duty with a Rangers’ team that is filled with promising young players.

“Naturally, when you go to any situation you want to play as often and regularly as much as you can. No one wants to sit on the bench,” he said. “But we have a great young team. My role is to pick up these guys occasionally.”

Paciorek insists clubhouse spirit is still a vital role in the game, something that is a necessary part of a club over a 162-game season.

“I don’t know if it’s enough to keep you employed but I think it helps to create a mood or atmosphere for the day,” he says. “You have to be loose, especially when you have a lot of younger players. They have to keep things in perspective. The more uptight you are, the greater the chance for failure.”

Paciorek, who will turn 40 in November, lies somewhere between the uptight rookie and, say Jay Johnstone, who stayed around in baseball for nearly 20 years and became the supreme prankster in two leagues.

“I don’t play a lot of practical jokes on people. I used to get trapped when Marc Hill of the Sox used to put shaving cream in the phone and I’d put it up to my ear,” Paciorek smiles. “I think it’s important to crack jokes, keep things light. Have fun with everyone and create an easy atmosphere. Jay would come out with all sorts of costumes on. I don’t put that much time into it.”

Fortunately for baseball, Paciorek and Johnstone never played on the same team at the same time. The possibilities for mayhem are countless.

“Our paths have crossed a lot of times in both leagues. But I think between us we played on every team in both leagues,” Paciorek said.

Could a team have withstood the antics of the two at the same time?

“Oh yeah, the more the merrier,” Paciorke said. “I don’t think you could have a team filled with clowns but one or two or three creates a light mood and it’s beneficial for a young team.”

Paciorek broke into organized baseball in 1968, serving a long minor league apprenticeship before winning a job with the Dodgers in 1973. He was traded to Atlanta, had his best season with Seattle in 1981 when he hit .326 and then went to the Chicago White Sox for four years. He played with the New York Mets for part of the 1985 season before winning a job with the Rangers this season.

The young ballplayer of today is perceived by some as serious, moody, contemplative, concerned about securing a big contract. Paciorek disputes that notion, based on what he has seen with the Rangers.

“No, as a matter of fact, our team is the opposite, they are keeping me young. Guys like Pete Incaviglia, Bobby Witt, these guys are great,” he said. “They are a lot more advanced intellectually at 21 than I was. They view life in the right perspective.”

Nevertheless, Paciorek’s innovative clubhouse personality is still at work.

“We have a Mr. Magoo award that goes to the guy that does the biggest bonehead thing in a game,” Paciorek says. “Kind of a blind leading the blind type of thing. It helps keeps things loose. We vote on it nearly every day. I’ve already won it five times.”

When Paciorek was moving up through the Dodger organization, he wasn’t particularly known as a clown or funny man. But his exposure to Dodger Manager Tommy Lasorda brought him out of a shell.

“Being crazy has to be attributed to him,” Paciorek said. “He taught me how to play on and off. He taught me to have fun. I was an introvert when I signed.

“But Tommy dragged me to these Holy Name breakfasts and Kiwanis club meetings, forcing me to get up and develop a new person.”

Paciorek retains his occasional naivete, especially when it comes to having the tables turned on him.

“I’ve fallen for a lot of things. One day Hill put powder in my hair and I looked completely white,” says Paciorek, whose hair has had a grey tinge since his early 30s. “Nothing ever violent or things that were not socially acceptable.”

Paciorek hopes to parlay his enthusiasm and knowledge into a broadcasting career. He does impersonations of announcers and players alike but he wants to stay in baseball rather than pursue a show business career.

“I don’t know about show biz but right now my feelings lean toward working for a ballclub, involved in broadcasting and learn something,” Paciorek says. “I’m not leaning toward the coaching side of it right now.”

After all, coaches don’t get to play a lot of tricks on people.