Just Wondering . . . Why Did Kareem Paint the Shutters Green?

Burning sports questions . . .

When was the last time the Clippers (currently 1-1) had a better record than the Lakers (0-1)? The answer--and this is the last answer I’m supplying today--was a year ago, when the Clippers started the season 5-0 and the Lakers 4-1.

When was the last time the Clippers had a better center than the Lakers? Can the Lakers win the big games with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar crashing the boards for 4 rebounds in 40 minutes, while his counterpart gets 17 and plays defense, too?

When will everyone stop picking on New York people? Does Roger Clemens have to make a big fuss just because his wife, and other Red Sox wives, were subjected to verbal abuse from Shea Stadium security cops and from Mets’ wives, and to a barrage of firecrackers? Isn’t that all part of the color and pageantry of the national pastime?

Is there an outside chance there might be a friendly scuffle or two Tuesday night when the Lakers play the Sonics, the new team of Maurice (I Am Not a Thug) Lucas?

Did anybody else feel just terrible upon reading that tennis player Dick Stockton punched out Ilie Nastase during a mixed doubles match? Did anybody else feel the referee stopped the fight too soon?

How is that USFL court appeal going?

Is Kareem’s loyalty at stake in the suit against him by a former landlady who charges the Big Fella painted the bedroom floor, shutters and walls green ? Would Bill Walton paint his house purple and yellow?

With apologies to the Raiders, will Monday night’s Rams-Bears game answer the question, “At midseason, which is pro football’s toughest team?”?

Next time the TV networks start throwing their weight (read: money) around, demanding to dictate big game starting times and playoff formats, will Peter Ueberroth have the courage to just say no? Will he do what’s right for baseball, and to hell with the money?

Will L.A. kiddies with sports injuries soon be begging their moms and dads to take them to Inglewood, now that the Lakers media guide devotes an entire page to “Centinela Hospital Medical Center: The Official Hospital of the Los Angeles Lakers”?

Is there a better postseason gig for ballplayers than touring Japan for 10 days with a major league baseball all-star team, picking up $30,000 each in addition to all expenses for player and wife?

Is Chick Hearn the first expert to publicly name his 1986-87 NBA MVP candidates? In choosing Akeem Olajuwon, Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley and Larry Bird as his most likelies, has Chickie forgotten about that Laker guy who used to be a pretty good player, that 6-9 point guard/power forward once thought to have a decent game?

Is Maryland making the wise move by giving deposed hoops coach Lefty Driesell another job on campus? Is this the kind of guy they want hanging around? Shouldn’t they transfer Lefty to the school’s recruiting office in New Delhi and mail his paychecks in a plain brown wrapper?

Why hasn’t more been written about the toughest team in New York--the Mets’ Wives?

Has Buddy Ryan invented the most significant new football stat--an individual breakdown of sacks allowed--by publicly exposing his offensive lineman’s goofs? Will Buddy, an old-fashioned fellow, bring back the pillory and stocks?

Whatever happened to Lefty Driesell’s campaign to get people to stop calling him Lefty?

Do you suppose Jerry Buss agrees with Kurt Rambis’ assessment of the significance of the Lakers losing their opener to Houston--”It doesn’t mean squat”?

With all the talk about raising the rim to 11 or 12 feet in the NBA, why hasn’t anyone suggested a more reasonable solution--raising it to 10 1/2 feet? Wouldn’t that help separate the men from the boys, dunkwise, without radically altering the game? Wouldn’t the slightly longer rebounds tend to aid the fun-to-watch fast-break teams?

What does it tell you when Akeem Olajuwon shoots 14 free throws in a game and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar shoots 2?

Have you seen where William (The Refrigerator) Perry can’t get his weight below 300 pounds, thus forfeiting a $2,000 weekly bonus and letting down his teammates with his diminished performance? Do you think maybe the ‘Fridge needs some incentive?

Is Micheal Ray Richardson, lately banned from playing pro basketball in Israel, getting a reputation?

Did Charles Barkley really say: “I think I’m more talented than (Larry) Bird, but I have to learn to play as hard as he does”? While he’s at it, why doesn’t Barkley learn to flap his wings and fly?

Two weeks ago, who would have guessed that Gene Mauch would wind up as the third most second-guessed manager in baseball’s postseason play?