THE YEAR IN REVIEW : Beyond the Notes, Quotes and Numbers Comes a Lighter Look Back at the Way They Were in 1987.

JANUARY Nudge Me When It Starts

National amateur super heavyweight champion Alex Garcia turns professional, missing the chance to fight in the Olympics in 1988. “There are people calling Alex a gold mine,” says trainer Blinky Rodriguez. “Let’s get some Alex-mania going.”

Dumb If You Do, Dumb If You Don’t

Dennis Keihn, athletic director at Cal State L. A., on tightening of academic standards at Division II schools, which includes Cal State Northridge: “Right now you don’t even have to graduate from high school to be eligible in Division II.”

The next day, the tighter rules (Proposition 66), are approved.

From Raymond Burse, president of Kentucky State: “This eliminates too many kids from a chance at an academic experience.”

You’re Kidding?

Hamilton High basketball Coach Dave Uyeshima, after his team was routed, 106-40, by Taft: “We don’t play defense very well, that’s all.”

And Things Better Change Around Here

Cal Lutheran basketball Coach Larry Lopez, after a victory over Fresno Pacific: “The only positive thing that happened tonight was that we won.”

Yeah, Rod Serling

CSUN’s Mike Kane, talking about the April 1 NFL draft: “I just know someone is going to call and say, ‘Hello, Mike? This is the Raiders . . . ‘ “

And It Sure Didn’t Need Us

Donald Burris, president of the California Kickers of the Western Soccer Alliance, on sparse crowds at the team’s games: “I think we responded to the needs of the community.”

Boo Boo Boo

The new robe of bantamweight fighter Frankie Duarte is unveiled. On the back it says, Frankie Frankie Frankie. “That’s so people will know how to cheer,” explains fight manager Dan Goossen. Three days later, Duarte loses a highly controversial decision to WBA bantamweight champion Bernardo Pinango before a hometown crowd at the Forum.

FEBRUARY Just Our Luck

Master’s College basketball Coach Randy Stem, after a 99-80 loss to Southern California College: “They’re the kind of team I love to watch play. Unfortunately, they were playing us.”

I Said a Car

Adam Dennis, a baseball player at The Master’s, drills a layup, free throw, a pair of three-pointers and a half-court bomb and wins a $19,000 four-wheel drive truck in a basketball promotion deal at the Christian college. “I think my Lord helped me,” Dennis says. “I’d been praying for a new car for a long time.”

He Knew This Would Happen

The Sylmar girls basketball coach keeps his team in a full-court press the entire game in running up a 90-26 victory over Poly. He said he did it because the Poly JV team pressed the entire game in running up a 35-7 win earlier in the day. “Sometimes you have to pay people back and you do it legitimately,” Coach Byron Prophet says.

Taking the Court, Wearing the Yellow Raincoats . . .

Village Christian plant manager Terry Spahr, on 44 seats installed in the balcony overlooking the court in the school’s new gymnasium: “I figured every rowdy high school student loves the opportunity to sit in the balcony and spit on the opposition.”

Nah, Probably Not

Alex Garcia makes his professional boxing debut with a first-round knockout of Cliff Melbourne, a 240-pound unemployed pepperoni stick-maker from Portland who took the fight on 18 hours notice and ate only a blueberry muffin and two candy bars in the 24 hours before the fight. “Maybe it would have been different if I had trained or something,” Melbourne says.

C’mon, Nick, They Were Just Skowgooting You

CSUN tennis player Nicolas Renard of France, talking about how his teammates took advantage of his limited knowledge of English: “They know I have trouble, so they make words up. They use words, they are not words at all. I go back and try to find them in the book and I cannot. Then they tell me they just made the word up, that it means nothing at all.”

And Nobody Cares

Wally Schwartz of the NAIA, explaining why 11-17 Cal Lutheran was not invited to the playoffs: “We don’t want a 2-20 team to be in our national tournament. We don’t want to be like the National Hockey League where everybody makes it.”

MARCH We Were Just Thankful He Didn’t Sky Dive

Jackie Padgett, twin sister of North Hollywood body builder, stuntwoman and actress Spice Williams, on their childhood: “Spice takes after our father. He was free and wild. He taught us to swim by throwing us in a pond.”

A Real Job

A member of the CSUN women’s tennis team, telling Coach Tony Davila of her plans for a summer job: “Yeah, it’s all set. The guy mailed me my WD-40 form and everything.”

APRIL About 350 Times

Charles Campbell, after being stopped by Michael Nunn in the ninth round of a lopsided fight in which one judge gave Nunn every round and the other two gave him all but one round: “He just caught me off balance.”

A Blast Into The Sheep Seats

Canyon High’s Ken Sollom hits the team’s first home run of the season, a 400-foot shot at Antelope Valley that cleared the fence and landed in a crowded pen of sheep. “The sheep started running all over the place,” Canyon Coach Wally Hammond says.

In This Corner, Wearing the Asbestos Trunks . . .

Drag racer Don “The Snake” Prudhomme, after describing an incredible 1981 crash in which his car exploded at 250 m.p.h. and burned with him still inside, mentions that his 46th birthday falls on the same date as the Marvelous Marvin Hagler-Sugar Ray Leonard middleweight title fight and adds, “Leonard is nuts to fight Hagler. He can get hurt in there.”

Uh, But Poly Was My Second Choice

Pitcher Steve Kovacic, explaining why he decided to attend Granada Hills High instead of Poly: “I’m at Granada because I wanted to go to a good school and play for a good coach in a program where I had a chance to learn some things.”

We Just Have to Be Pounded Senseless Once in a While

Master’s baseball Coach John Zeller, explaining his high spirits after a 25-0 beating by Azusa Pacific: “We’ll be OK. Northridge thrashed us, 27-4, and Azusa beat us, 18-0, earlier this year. We came back to win our next game both times.”

Whew, What a Break

Heavyweight boxer and ex-convict Mike Hunter, asked before a fight at the Country Club in Reseda if he had been involved in gangs as a youth: “I was a gang. If I hadn’t gone to prison, I’d be dead by now.”

Seventh-Inning Stench

Alemany High baseball Coach Jim Ozella, after a 14-0 loss: “We stunk all around.”

MAY It’s Just What You Said It Was

Notre Dame High pole vaulter Tom Parker, on his introduction to the sport: “I saw some guys putting up a bar and jumping over it with sticks. I said to myself, ‘What the hell is that?’ ”

And We Wouldn’t Want THAT to Happen

Canoga Park High baseball Coach Doug MacKenzie, explaining why his team’s 8-3 loss that snapped a 12-game win streak wasn’t such a bad thing: “If we would have won, we would have had to win every game for the rest of the season.”

Yo, Mel, That You?

Master’s College, announcing the hiring of Mel Hankinson as its new basketball coach: “We thank God that He has called Mel to accept the challenge to build a strong basketball program.”

Or Duck

Taft High golf Coach Ray O’Connor, after his team won the City Section golf championship: “There’s not much coaching from me. Heck, these guys are all better than I am. I just point ‘em toward the course and let them play. The real secret is to inherit a good team and then stay out of their way.”

Overpowering Smell of Success

Montclair Prep pitcher Scott Hauser, on his 9-0 streak: “I’ve worn the same undershirt for the last two years in games I’ve pitched.”

Testing, 14-15-16

North Hollywood High baseball Coach Brian York, after his team was trounced, 16-5, as Chatsworth played its first home game with the school’s new scoreboard: “We tried to help them test their new electronic scoreboard and run up as many numbers as we could. It seems to be working fine.”

JUNE And They Look Good With Cowboy Boots, Too

Canyon High Coach Greg Hayes, on the team’s new basketball shorts that reach halfway to the players’ knees: “I never thought Canyon High would be a fashion trend-setter, but I guess we are.”

And Why Do I Do This?

Sprinter Quincy Watts of Taft High, on the exhausted feeling he gets after every race: “All you think about is when you’re going to recover, when you’re going to feel right, when you’re going to get rid of this headache.”

And They’re All Sweaty and Dirty . . .

Poly High baseball Coach Jerry Cord, on his low-key demeanor during games: “Never have been one to be jumping up and down. When the players get together for a huddle during the game, I might stick my head in there and say something, but I usually stay away from that stuff. A guy could get crushed in there.”

They’ll Want To Have TVs

The Stonegate Homeowners Assn., a group representing a housing tract in Castaic, creates a fury by forbidding residents from putting up basketball hoops above their driveways.

Uh, I Thought They Just Were Slouched in Their Seats

“It took me 37 years to get here, and it looks like it might take 37 more years to get home,” says Canoga Park baseball Coach Doug MacKenzie, 61, after his team wins its first City championship in his 37-year career and then was abandoned in the darkened Dodger Stadium parking lot until nearly midnight because the bus driver left without them.

Oh, You’re THAT Dave Bultman

Royal High shotputter and discus-thrower Dave Bultman, on USC’s beefed-up scholarship offer after he won both events in the state championships: “It’s funny. USC told me earlier that they were short on money. I guess they lied. You throw 67 feet and suddenly they’ve got plenty of it.”

And Look, One Guy Over There is Even Awake

Don Burris, president of the California Kickers soccer team and a part-time soccer announcer, surveying the gathering of fans at Cal State Northridge for an international match: “You know it’s a good crowd when there’s people sitting on both sides of the field.”

Now If We Could Get Rid of Those Stinking Shoes

Gordon Murrey, president of a firm that invented aluminum bowling alleys: “In ten years, there won’t be any more wood bowling lanes.”

Of Course Not, They’re Horses

Kathy Batchelor, who runs a polo club in Chatsworth that teaches the sport to beginners: “Horses are much easier to train than people because they don’t ask why.”

Get This Man a 20-Foot Ladder

Pole vaulter Mike Tully of Encino, on his lack of progress recently: “I feel like I’m stuck in a 19-foot rut.”

So If You’ll Excuse Me . . .

Canyon football Coach Harry Welch, on the problems with football candidate Todd Coefield: “Todd always says, ‘Hey, things will work out.’ He’s not being realistic. Maybe things will work out. And maybe Bo Derek is waiting for me in the lunch room right now.”

Or Under the Table

CSUN football Coach Bob Burt, after learning that two of his assistant coaches violated NCAA rules by loaning a recruit money for a hotel room and arranging a discount for him on a moving truck: “Mr. Nice Guy is through. If a kid doesn’t have the money, he can sleep on the street.”

Just a Big Hat

CSUN’s Albert Fann, recruited by the Matador football coaches at the same time they were illegally recruiting another player: “It surprises me because, me, being their top recruit, I was never offered anything like that.”

Then This Urge to Ring the Bells at Notre Dame

San Fernando High shortstop Anthony Munoz, explaining the disappearance of a baseball during a game against Burroughs: “The ball took a little bad hop and it went up my sleeve and around my back. My glove never even touched it. I saw the hump in my back, so I pulled it out of there.”

But That’s OK Because We Don’t Have Water, Either

Jim Ingram, secretary of the San Fernando Valley Yacht Club: “Our people don’t have the kind of money to join a $1,500-a-month club.”

You May Not Have Made It to 65

Gregg Symonds, 65, on his motor racing career that began at age 48: “My wife used to worry about me when I was on motorcycles and I’ve got a lot of scars on my face and knees to prove it. If I fell off a motorcycle, the first thing down was my face. I have to have a natural talent in racing because I started so late in life. I often wonder what would have happened had I started earlier.”

Unless, of Course, It’s a Really Big Doughnut

Al Schoenberger, who quit after 14 years as the baseball coach at Cal Lutheran, citing financial, recruiting and fund-raising problems: “When you’re trying to push a grapefruit through a doughnut, it’s time to move on.”

JULY But Just Drop One Pass . . .

Jeremy Leach, Granada Hills High quarterback, talking about his talented receiver, Sean Brown, and their budding friendship: “When a guy starts catching everything you throw, it makes you start liking him. Your friendship starts to grow.”

But First, I’d Like to Stand Up

Casey Patterson, 43-year-old winner of the women’s division of the Race Across America in 12 days of virtual non-stop pedaling aboard her bicycle: “I want to take a bath.”

And He Said If I Did That He’d Break My Neck

Grant High basketball Coach Howard Levine, an usher at Dodger Stadium, on being in the New York Yankees dugout when Bob Welch struck out Reggie Jackson for the final out in a 1978 World Series game: “Jackson was so mad. He snapped his bat, and then he bumped Bob Lemon out of the way. Later, he apologized to me for the way he acted. He said they had food in the clubhouse and if I wanted any all I had to do was grab him and ask.”

A Broken Record

Michael Nunn signs to fight Jose Duarte of Mexico City at the Country Club in Reseda. The promoters say Duarte’s record is 32-9 with 31 knockouts. Duarte says he is 32-14-1 with 31 knockouts. The State Athletic Commission says Duarte is 28-14-1 with 27 knockouts. The aging Duarte fights like he’s 0-100 and is knocked out in the second round.

It Really Is

Marc Saraceno, American Legion baseball coach whose teams have forfeited games in each of the past two years because he was accused of illegally recruiting players from other areas: “We’re out here for the kids and if you take away something positive they did, that is really bad.”

Now That’s a Full-Gainer

Granada Hills High diver Janae Lautenschlager admits that she doesn’t plan to make the Olympics or become the best in the world, and only wants to earn a college scholarship so she can “have a nice career, be rich and get married.”

They’ve Got the Fong Idea

Curtis Fong, director of a torturous 116-mile bicycle race through the Sierra Nevada mountain range: “This is a cult. They come out here to kill themselves.”

Al Is In Wonderland

Alan Epstein, the football and golf coach at Birmingham High, on his summer golf camp: “I tried it with football a few years ago, but the big names kind of took over. I wonder who wants to go to the Al Epstein football camp when they can go to Lyle Alzado’s.”

And Sometimes We Do It With Letter Openers

Tim DeGrasse, American Legion pitcher, on his summer job at his father’s car-rental agency: “We play this little game in here. We have these little . . . you know, those foam beer holders that keep beer cold--well, we throw them at each other and try to hit each other in the face.”

Try the Dressing Room With the Chandelier

Blinky Rodriguez, manager of heavyweight hopeful Alex Garcia, says he would like Garcia to fight world champion Mike Tyson at the downtown and downtrodden Olympic Auditorium.

Well, “My Mother the Car” Made It, Didn’t It?

Mark Silva, professional racquetball player: “I’m going to give it two or three years. Racquetball might be on TV some day and I’ll say to myself, ‘I could have done that.’ ”

Thar He Sits

Jordan Cook, a 5-foot, eight-inch, 185-pound American Legion baseball player, on his frame: “Not to say I don’t look like a baseball player, but the last time I went to the beach I got a harpoon in my back.”

Oh, Darn

Darleen Branigan, a Canoga Park handball coach: “With football in the fall and basketball in winter and softball and baseball in the spring, there’s no room to fit team handball into the intercollegiate schedule.”

AUGUST Fading Finnish

Chaminade High football Coach Rich Lawson, who coached a professional team in Finland the previous year, on the communications gap during his halftime pep talks: “I had some guy translate what I was saying from English to Finnish. It sort of took the edge off my message.”

Unfortunately, They Boxed

Middleweight Frankie Owens, on an upcoming fight against unbeaten Michael Nunn: “Nunn’s just a boxer.”

Nunn knocked Owens down twice and stopped him in the ninth round. He won every round on the score cards of two judges.

Turning Over Some Unlighted Letters

A teen-age girl from Thousand Oaks, stopping Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Danny White after a practice at Cal Lutheran: “Danny White! Can we have your autograph. Are you married to Vanna White?”

A Real Spokesman

Michael Thomas, 30, who rides a mountain bike: “A construction site has great things to ride over. Any place where there are piles of this or that will do. Five-foot drainage pipes are really good.”

We Hope He’s a Demolitions Expert

Andy Skeels, former Thousand Oaks standout, talking about promotional nights at minor league baseball games: “So far this season I’ve seen Captain Dynamite three times. This guy is about 70 years old and goes out with about four sticks of dynamite and blows himself up by second base. It’s a tough way to make a living.”

Juan Is the Loneliest Number

Ring announcer Jimmy Lennon Jr., after incorrectly introducing a fighter with a 1-8 record as “an undefeated fighter, with a record of 3-0” at a bout at the Country Club: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have made a mistake. Juan Torres is not an undefeated fighter tonight.”

SEPTEMBER There Was Plenty of Hot Air, Though

Before Chris Ferragamo’s debut as coach of Harbor College, he had these things to say:

“We have more Division I players here than I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“We have 90 players in uniform, all great players, all hand-picked.”

In its first game, Harbor was trounced, 28-0, by Moorpark.

Said Ferragamo: “We’ve got to learn how to get a little fire. The fire just wasn’t there.”

Especially Those Old, Young Guys

San Francisco State football Coach Vic Rowen, after a 23-13 loss to Cal Lutheran: “Our defense played good, except for some bad mistakes.”

Whaddya’, Blind?

Doug MacKenzie, baseball coach at Canoga Park High for 37 years, on not being rehired by Principal Charlie Molina despite winning the City Section championship earlier in the year: “Just another lousy call by the umpire.”

And He Had, Uh, One Million Rushing Yards

The 10-page Palmdale High football program for its game against Crespi had this line about Crespi running back Russell White: “He rambled for 57 touchdowns on just 189 attempts last year.” Actually, White had 31 touchdowns in 1986.

But If You Fold ‘Em Right They Make Great Hats

Granada Hills High football Coach Darryl Stroh, after his team, ranked No. 1 in the Valley by The Times, lost its opening game: “We’ve got a bunch of guys who read the newspapers. I hate reading newspapers.”

OCTOBER Scholarly Lament

Cal Lutheran football Coach Bob Shoup, bemoaning the academic requirements for students at the school and comparing it to Cal State Northridge: “The last five running backs at Northridge couldn’t get in here. The standards are too high.”

Helter-Skelter Offense

Valley College football Coach Chuck Ferrero, describing quarterback Barry Hanks: “I tell him everyday to get a haircut. With that mustache and hair, he looks like Charles Manson.”

Hey, Anybody Have $10 for the Pay Phone?

Manning Wein, 85, who runs in 10K races and doesn’t plan to stop soon: “I’m shooting for 100. I want to make it to the year 2002. That would be nice. Call back then and see how I’m doing, OK?”

Get Your Programs Here

Alemany High football Coach Enrique Lopez, barking at his players after they romped to a 28-0 win: “The offense played like schoolgirls. It was an embarrassment to the whole program.”

Unless He’s a Real Jerk

Diana Fuhrman of Cal State Northridge, a world-ranked weight lifter: “Let’s just say it’s not the first thing I tell a guy that I’ve met in a bar.”

OK, Who Borrowed My Biblical Game Film?

Santa Clara High football Coach Steve Dann, on preparing his defense for talented running back Russell White and Crespi High: “You do stuff like show them David and Goliath and the Jets versus the Colts.”

In Hindsight, I Should Have Fought Them

Westlake football Coach George Contreras, after having his hair cut--very badly--by his players as payment on a promise he made before a game: “It’s a little scary when you have 40 kids coming at you with scissors in their hands. You definitely sit still.”

But Getting Those Pants on Him Was Tough

Marcus Cravens, a fullback on the Carpinteria High football team that beat Moorpark in 1930 to begin a still-intact 48-game win streak over the rival school, on life in Santa Barbara County back then: “I remember when I could get up before dawn, shoot a buck, get it back and have it dressed and get to Santa Barbara before 8.”

Someone Call a Toe Truck

Burbank High tailback Gabe Jimenez, complaining of sore feet after playing his first game on artificial turf at East L. A. College: “I keep hearing all this stuff about turf toe. I think I have it.”

Run, Billy . . . Ouch, That Smarts

Canyon High football Coach Harry Welch, on the dangers of wearing wire-attached headsets on the sidelines during a game: “I’d be running along the sideline trying to follow a play and just run out of cord. Zap. You hit the end of that cord and get jerked backwards by your ears a few times and you really start to dislike those things.”

Luckily, I Didn’t Shake Hands

Steve Born, on hallucinations brought on by lack of sleep during a grueling 550-mile, non-stop bicycle race through Arizona: “I remember slowing down and conversing with the cactus. Honest. They looked pretty strange but I was sure they were people.”

And I Guess We Don’t

Cal Lutheran football Coach Bob Shoup, on his team’s 40-7 trouncing by Portland State: “The score in this case is truly indicative of the difference between the two teams. They have a great football team.”

Or a Baseball

A day before Michael Nunn pounds Darnell Knox senseless for a fourth-round TKO, Knox’s manager, Emanuel Steward, had this to say about his fighter: “He’s a gifted, coordinated athlete. I think he could have been a helluva baseball player.”

NOVEMBER Thank You, Mr. Kqpewvzkl

Brian Clark, CSUN football player who suffered a broken right hand, on when he knew his life was about to get a bit more difficult: “When they asked me to sign my name at the hospital. That was a real adventure.”

Don’t Count On It

Bill Redell, Crespi High football coach and an assistant to the president at Cal Lutheran, is fired by the university because of proposals he made to improve the athletic standards. University President Jerry Miller, the man who handed down the termination, said Redell resigned and added, “I’m grateful for the dedication that Bill has shown to the university over many years. He will continue to be a friend and helpful adviser for us.”

And In Soccer, That’s Illegal

Marwan Ass’ad, CSUN soccer coach, discussing the difficulty of traveling: “The school bus we take isn’t very comfortable. If you have a can of soda on the bus, you can’t drink it because it shakes so much. Your stomach will be in your head by the time you get there.”

After All, It Is the Desert

Former U. S. Olympic water polo Coach Monte Nitzkowski, bemoaning the lack of talent in the San Fernando Valley: “Something got lost in the shuffle out there in the Valley. You would have expected that to be an aquatics hotbed.”

Luckily, They Weren’t Mine

Saugus High football Coach Dick Flaherty, on his role in a bench-clearing brawl between his players and those from Quartz Hill: “It was stupidity. I was into piles and throwing people off. I ruined a pair of pants.”

And Then the Road Collapsed

Barry Daniels, Valley College’s 5-11 and now 255-pound defensive tackle who ballooned to nearly 300 pounds last summer: “I just ate and blew up. I was a little too big. I have a little car and it was kind of tilting down the road.”

Of All the Darn Luck

Lindon Crow, whose successful 12-year stint as football coach at St. Genevieve ended unsuccessfully in a 35-0 playoff loss to Woodbridge: “They were extremely fast, much faster than I thought they’d be. That’s pretty unfortunate, because we’re pretty slow.”

Or Understand

Art Dolder, pastor at the Christian Family Church in Newhall, on the sometimes rough on-field language of Canyon football Coach Harry Welch: “From my position, he uses language I wouldn’t use.”

Cal State Forest Lawn

CSUN basketball coach Pete Cassidy, on his team’s poor shooting percentage in a recent game: “To shoot 35%, well, that’s 3% more than a dead man could shoot.”

In their next game, the Matadors shot 32%.

DECEMBER Ever Hear of a Map?

The Cal Lutheran women’s basketball team forfeits a tournament game at Cal Baptist because the team got lost. Jim Buccheim, the sports information director, blames the tournament officials: “They told us to stay on the 210 freeway until we got to the 10 and then go from the 10 to the 91, or something like that. But they left out that we were supposed to get off on another freeway before the 91. The team stayed on the 10 until they ended up in the desert somewhere. Palm Springs, I think.”

I Misquoted Myself

Jeremy Leach, Granada Hills’ quarterback and sports writer for the school’s newspaper, explaining a mistake in the second paragraph of a story he wrote about himself and the football team: “The teacher put that one in there. I had it right, I swear.”

But Well-Groomed

Bell-Jeff High basketball Coach Joe Dunn: “I’m 6-2, and when I’m in the huddle and can see the top of most kids’ heads, I know we’re small.”

Thou Shalt Not Fling Thy Wedge

Rich Lawson, football coach at Chaminade, a Catholic school, on Brother Bill Campbell, the school’s principal: “There’s no question that he’s a competitor. We go golfing and Brother Bill and I are hackers. But after he makes a bad shot, there’s a quiet storm brewing within him.”

Troubles

in the Ole’ End Zone

Cleveland High football Coach Steve Landress, after absorbing a 55-6 drubbing by Granada Hills: “Hemorrhoids are more fun than that game was.”