Hand That Feeds Him Is Not No. 33

After the most recent game between the Milwaukee Bucks and the Boston Celtics, John Lucas of the Bucks was seen stuffing a No. 33 Celtic jersey into his gym bag.

That’s the jersey Larry Bird wears, of course. Asked to explain, Lucas told the Boston Globe: “The last time we played, I asked Larry if I could have it next time we played. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

So why this time?

“I got it for my little boy,” he said. “I’m not his favorite player. Larry Bird is. I just feed him.”

Now-they-tell-us Dept.: From an analysis of the Baltimore Orioles by Richard Justice of the Washington Post: “Tom Niedenfuer is capable of being a closer and should be even better, now that the Orioles understand he’s only a one-inning pitcher.”

On that fateful day in 1985, Niedenfuer had worked two innings before Jack Clark put the hammer on him at Dodger Stadium.

Add Clark: Of the slugger’s departure from St. Louis, Whitey Herzog says: “I was skiing the day he signed with the Yankees, and I don’t mind telling you, I would have preferred falling down the mountain rather than hear that news.”

Trivia Time: What do the Phoenix Cardinals, Baltimore Orioles and Atlanta Hawks have in common? (Answer below.)

To get a driver’s license in Florida, you need 20/40 vision. To be an Air Force pilot, you need 20/20. So what do you need to be a four-time batting champion?

It doesn’t say, but Wade Boggs is 20/12.

Dr. Mark Sibley, a Florida optometrist, told the St. Petersburg Times: “With 20/12 vision, you have better depth perception, you’re able to pick up objects that are farther away, and those objects are going to be clearer. What separates Wade Boggs from most everyone else is his ability to see the ball and follow it in.”

It also helps to have some God-given talent.

“A lot of people who have 20/12 vision couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn,” said the doctor.

From Thomas Hearns, throwing down the gauntlet to Sugar Ray Leonard: “Fighting Leonard has been playing on my mind since 1981. I want to tap dance on his head. I want the little chump to come out of retirement so I can retire him forever.”

If rookie infielder Randy Velarde of the New York Yankees does any damage against the Angels this year, Cookie Rojas could blame himself.

Velarde, who played winter ball for La Romana in the Dominican League, told Joe Donnelly of Newsday: “I hit .290 in about 60 games, and the 6 homers I hit were the most ever hit by a second baseman there. My manager helped me. He was Cookie Rojas, the guy who is filling in for Gene Mauch managing the Angels.

“Cookie has a lot of baseball savvy, and he got me back off the plate, where I’m driving the ball to right-center rather than being jammed. He was also a second baseman and he helped me with my second-base play.”

Dick Vitale, on the NCAA basketball pairings: “The committee did not distribute teams evenly. The East is the Mike Tyson division and the Midwest Tony Tubbs.”

Trivia Answer: All three moved from St. Louis. The Orioles were the St. Louis Browns, and the Hawks were the St. Louis Hawks.

Quotebook

Rufus (Hurricane) Hadley, sparring partner for Mike Tyson, after the champion rocked him with a punch: “He knocked the taste out of my mouth.”