Coming Soon in Paperback

There must be something in the air, or maybe the water, but San Diego is becoming a veritable hotbed of sports literature.

I expect to go to a Padre game, for example, and hear a conversation like this around the batting cage . . .

Tony Gwynn: “How’s your book coming, John?”

John Kruk: “Comin’ good. And yours?”

Gwynn: “Little slow. Mine’s not as far along as Tim Flannery’s.”

Kruk: “How about Marvell Wynne?”

Gwynn: “He’s waiting for proofs. I think Jimmy Jones is about done with his.”

You know, you aren’t anybody around here if you don’t have a book these days.

Ted Leitner, of all people, has a book, though it’s noteworthy that a sportswriter had to write it for him.

Dennis Conner has a book that is probably available in both a stiff plastic cover and a flexible cloth cover.

Eugene Klein has a book, though he undoubtedly will want to update it with a chapter on how Woody Stephens is as dastardly a villain as Al Davis.

Larry Bowa has a book, though sales probably will be inhibited by the fact that he no longer has the job he was writing about.

Jack McKeon has a book, which probably has one of those scratch and sniff features so you can smell his cigar while you are reading it.

Surely, more books must be in the offing . . .

Indeed, my chore for today is to come up with other San Diego-related authors. To get them started, I will suggest both a title and a synopsis for the jacket liner.

Michael Fay: “Gifts From the Deed”

A shy investment banker from New Zealand finds a quirk in an ancient document and turns the yachting world upside down from Down Under in this uproarious tale of audacity.

Dan Fouts: “Club 14 Revisited”

The true story of the genius behind Air Coryell. How the all-pro quarterback held clandestine meetings each Friday with 12 secretaries and the receptionist to devise the game plan for the upcoming Sunday.

Juli Veee: “My Dynasty”

The story of a talented Hungarian who defected by climbing out of a hotel window while on tour with a youth team and found his way to fame as the cornerstone of the San Diego Sockers’ indoor dominance.

Ron Newman: “My Dynasty”

The story of an imaginative Englishman who came to the colonies to coach “real” football, the kind played outdoors with a round ball, and found his way to fame as the architect of the San Diego Sockers’ indoor dominance.

Chub Feeney: “A Pictorial Guide to the Padres”

OK, it’s flawed. Lance McCullers is identified as John Kruk, and vice versa. Greg Riddoch is listed as Rich Riddoch and Keith Moreland is listed as Jimmy Jones, who is identified as Dave Leiper. And the Domino’s Pizza Noid is pictured above Larry Bowa’s name.

Johnny Rodgers: “The Heisman Ransom”

A novel written in the tradition of Ludlum. A priceless trophy disappears while its owner is in jail and later surfaces in a cross-town garage. The intrigue continues to unfold as the hero tries to rescue his trophy before some stranger gets it for $12 at a garage sale.

Al Saunders: “Dressed to Be Killed”

The author’s team figures to be one of the ugliest in the National Football League, but he will look placid, calm and sartorially splendid on the sidelines. A delightfully different look at fall fashions for 1988.

Winning Colors: “A Man’s World” (As told to Mr. Ed)

Born with a golden bit in her mouth, she could have lolled around the pastures in Rancho Santa Fe and never done a day of work in her life. This wasn’t her way. She became the queen of the Kentucky Derby and a cause celebre loser of the Preakness, with one more chapter to be written.

Jerry Coleman: “Sliding in Standing Up”

One of baseball’s most delightful people writes the way he talks, which means it doesn’t always make sense, but smiles come at the rate of at least one a sentence.

Mark Malone: “Escape From Behind the Steel Curtain”

A heartwarming story of a young man confined on the plastic tundra in the gulag of Pittsburgh. He finally scrambles free and returns to the homeland of his boyhood.

Eric Show: “The Interdigitational Relationship Between Jazz and Pitching”

This is a two-volume set, the second volume being a dictionary. The first person who gets past the first five pages is invited to write the synopsis for the jacket liner.