No Sense in Trying to Explain

Louisville pitcher John Martin, pitching against Denver in an American Assn. game, was battered for 7 runs in 2 innings. He also got the worst of it in a brawl that broke out after he hit a batter.

What went wrong?

“I have two reasons why this happened,” he said. “First, we flew American Airlines into Denver, and we usually fly TWA. Second, there seemed to be an abundance of nimbus clouds in the area that seemed to make my knuckleball high.”

It-had-to-happen Dept.: Said ESPN analyst Jerry Pate as Nick Faldo addressed a four-footer to save par in the British Open: “You’re not going to see him miss many of these.”

Bogey.

Add Faldo: The last five holes at Royal Lytham & St. Annes are long, difficult par-4s, and Faldo needed 24 shots to complete them Thursday. In the second round of the 1979 tournament at Lytham, Seve Ballesteros completed them in 16 shots, causing Hale Irwin to exclaim, “He must have left a hole out!”

Note: On Friday, Mark Calcavecchia completed the stretch in 29 shots.

Add Open: From USA Today: “Lee Trevino, a pitchman for Toyota on U.S. television, is riding around Lytham in a car with ‘Lee Trevino drives better with Murray Volvo’ on the side.”

Trivia Time: When they did it, they were told they never would be forgotten, but can you name the first men to clear 16, 17, 18 and 19 feet in the pole vault? (Answer below.)

Davey Johnson, cracking down on the country-club atmosphere in the New York Mets clubhouse, imposed a 6 p.m. curfew on card-playing before a night game.

Said Ron Darling, the pitcher from Yale: “Maybe our guys can find a new hobby, like reading.”

Add Forgettable Quotes: From the Associated Press Thursday: “One of Joe Morgan’s first actions as manager of the Boston Red Sox was to veto the signing of designated hitter Larry Parrish.”

The Red Sox signed Parrish Friday.

Add Morgan: If you don’t know what he looks like, you’re not alone. In the Red Sox media guide, his picture accompanies the biography of bullpen coach Rac Slider, and vice versa.

Said Dave Bristol, after being fired as a coach by the Philadelphia Phillies: “I’ve been fired enough times, so it’s never a complete surprise, but this one is a surprise.”

Baseball author Bill James once said of Bristol’s managerial career: “I don’t understand how he got four chances to show that people hated him everywhere.”

From Ray Frager of the Baltimore Sun, critiquing ABC’s work at the All-Star game: “Overall, the only real problem with the broadcast was those interviews conducted by an uncomfortable-looking Joe Morgan and a too-comfortable-looking Gary Bender (could Bender be the Perry Como of sportscasting?).”

Said Cindy Walker, wife of Herschel, after he said he wanted to fight Mike Tyson: “No way he’s going anywhere. He can talk all he wants to, but he’s not going to fight anybody.”

Trivia Answer: John Uelses (United States), John Pennel (United States), Christos Papanicolaou (Greece), Thierry Vigneron (France).

Quotebook

Neil Williamson of WQXI radio in Atlanta, after the Hawks drafted 7-foot 7-inch, 320-pound Jorge Gonzalez of Argentina: “He’s a guy you don’t want to bring up the Falklands war with.”