Washington State Chewing Up Big Ten

The Colleges

“Please,” a Big Ten official reportedly appealed to the NCAA this week, “don’t make us play any more games against that vicious bully, Washington State! We’re not up to their (the Cougars’) level of football. We can’t attract recruits like they can to a media center like Pullman (Wash.).”

Fortunately for the quivering Big Ten schools, Washington State is leaving them alone for the rest of the year, having sated itself with routs of 37 points over Illinois and 32 over Minnehaha. The crushing losses were two of the reasons that the Big and Bottom Tens have merged to form the Bot/Big Ten, Inc.

On (or, under) the heels of that move, the Southwest Conference has expressed an interest in taking over Nos. 11-20, comprising as it does such defendants as Texas A$M (0-2), Texas (0-1) and SMU, currently free on its own recognizance.

But little Nebraska has a firm hold on No. 14. The Cornhuskers, who built up a 7-38 deficit en route to a 28-41 embarrassment, are one of the many pushovers that UCLA schedules early each season.

The Rankings:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Minnehaha (0-1) 9-41, Wash. St. Miami (O.) 2. Mich. St. (0-1) 13-17, Rutgers Notre Dame 3. Michigan (0-1) 17-19, N. Dame Miami (Fla.) 4. Illinois (0-2) 16-21, Arizona St. Utah 5. Wisconsin (0-1) Idle N. Illinois 6. Purdue (0-1) 6-20, Washington Ohio U. 7. N’western (0-1) Idle Air Force 8. Iowa (1-1) Def. K-St., 45-10 Colorado 9. Ohio State (1-0) Def. Syra., 26-9 Pitt 10. Indiana (1-0) Def. Rice, 41-14 Kentucky

11. Texas A$M (0-2 on field); 12. Texas A$M (0-2 off field; given 2 years probation by NCAA for various infractions); 13. Texas (0-1); 14. Nebraska (2-1); 15. Kiwi (New Zealand) (0-2); 16. Tennessee (0-2); 17. Iowa University Sports Information Dept. (0-0-1) (NCAA decided not to take action against school for taking out ads promoting the 1988 Hawkeyes and QB Chuck Hartlieb in several magazines); 18. Brigham Young (1-1); 19. College Football Hall of Fame (considering a move from Kings Island, Ohio, to Memphis, because of poor attendance); 20. Florida State (1-1).

ROUT OF THE WEEK: Miami (O.) (0-2) over Minnehaha (0-1).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Idle.

WHAT GOES AROUND . . . : “We won’t play anybody in or out of our conference that’s at as low an ebb as New Mexico,” Fresno State Coach Jim Sweeney said last week after his team’s 68-21 victory. Colorado’s probably saying the same thing this week after its 45-3 win over Fresno State.

The Pros It was the most stunning move by a placekicker since Garo Yepremian’s famed 8-inch pass was intercepted and returned for a touchdown in the 1973 Super Bowl.

There was Phoenix’s Al Del Greco, faking a 41-yard-field goal and lumbering around right end. Del Greco (who’s not one of the Zendejas brothers, by the way) was quickly removed from his feet by Dallas’ grateful defenders. And here’s the really weird part: Coach (as of today) Gene Stallings called the play.

The Cardinals’ 14-17 loss--one of several games featuring unsuspended players--enabled the team to descend like a Phoenix into the Bottom Ten lead. The friendly Dolphins of Shula World, Fla., are right behind them.

Meanwhile, Victor Kiam, the businessman nearing purchase of the New England team, said he may move the Patriots to Phoenix and share the town with the Cardinals. His reasoning is that, if 67,000 fans pay an average of $38 to see the hopeless Cardinals play, imagine what they’d pay to see a team that wins half of its games.

The Rankings:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Phoenix (0-2) 14-17, Dallas Bay (Tampa) 2. Miami (Fla.) (0-2) 6-9, Buffalo Bay (Green) 3. San Diego (0-2) 3-34, Denver Seattle 4. Kansas City (0-2) 10-31, Seattle Denver 5. Irwindale (1-1) 35-38, Houston* Rams

6.-8. Bays and/or Steel Towns (Green, 0-2; Tampa, 1-1; Pitt, 1-1); 9. Atlantis (0-2); 10. Dickerson (0-2).

*Game featured 22 penalties, covering 229 yards, the second-most vicious contest of the week (next to the America’s Cup).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Dickerson (0-2) at Cleveland (1-1).

WHAT GOES AROUND . . . (II): Last week, Philadelphia Coach Buddy Ryan branded some of Cincinnati Coach Sam Wyche’s offensive strategems as things you learn “in high school.” Sunday, the Bengals’ underclassmen dropped Philadelphia, 28-24.

QUOTEBOOK: When Herschel Walker scored a touchdown for Dallas, CBS Radio announcer Jack Buck said, “Herschel, for all you do, this Bud’s for you.” Does this mean that Jack was sipping a brew in the broadcaster’s booth? Or, did he send one down to the bench for Herschel?