Volunteers Have Become a ‘Bottom Tenn.’ Team

THE COLLEGES

The Bottom Ten’s attorneys were busy sending out letters to students and vendors in Knoxville, Tenn., warning them that shirts bearing the name, “Bottom Tennessee,” constitute trademark violations.

The new fashion fad is a tribute to No. 4 Tennessee’s 0-4 start, which leaves the Volunteers just 39 straight losses behind Columbia. And to think, Tennessee was rated in the preseason top 20 nonhumor polls of the news services!

How low has the Big Ten fallen? Now even No. 11 Ohio State is being patronized. Buckeye Coach John Cooper said that before his team played Louisiana State, the Tigers’ assistants told him, “In a couple of years, you’ll have a good football team.” Ohio State staged a 36-33 upset.

Elsewhere, the Bulgarian weightlifters, who withdrew from the Olympics after some tested positive for drugs, have signed letters of intent to attend Nebraska, where they will play in the offensive line.

The Rankings:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Texas A$M (0-3) 15-52, Okla. St. Texas Tech 2. Penn State (2-1) 16-21, Rutgers Temple 3. Miamis (3-4)* Split a pair Mo., Ball St. 4.Tennessee (0-4) 6-38, Auburn Washington St. 5. Stanford (1-2) 3-7, Oregon Notre Dame 6. Wash. (3-0)** d. S. Jose, 35-31 UCLA 7. N. Carolina (0-3) 34-38, Louisville Auburn 8. Ga. Tech (1-2) 13-30, Clemson N.C. St. 9. Oklahoma (2-1) 7-23, USC Iowa State 10. Young Miss (1-2) Idle Old Ga.

11. (Tie) Michigan State (0-3); 11. Minnehaha (2-1); 11. Wisconisn (0-3); 11. Illinois (1-2); 11. Michigan (1-2); 11. Ohio State (2-1; 11. Indiana (2-0-1); 11.Iowa (2-2); 11. Purdue(1-2); 11. Northwestern (0-3).

*Combined records of Miami (Fla.), Miami (Ohio), Miami (Alaska).

**Worst 3-0 team in nation, having been outgained by Army and San Jose State in last 2 weeks.

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Iowa (2-2) at Michigan State (0-3)

ROUT OF THE WEEK: Wisconsin over Michigan (Wolverine coach Bo Schembechler: “Wisconsin has only one problem--15 turnovers in 3 games. Other than that they are a good team”).

THE PROS

Poor Denver. What a shame that a city of its size should lack both major league baseball and football franchises.

The broken Broncos, the current minor league entry there, fell to 1-3 by staging a furious collapse after running up a 24-0 lead over the Irwindale Schroeders.

Then there’s No. 2 Philadelphia, which installed its 2-minute defense in the final moments to give up a field goal and collapse before Minnehaha, 23-21. Still, Beagle Coach Buddy Ryan says the team is right on the schedule he set--to make it to the Super Bowl by the year 2010.

In the pro Bay Division, Green (0-4) travels to Tampa (1-3) as the two marine-life giants have their long-awaited rematch. They last splashed together 3 weeks ago.

The Rankings:

BAY DIVISION Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Green (0-4) 6-24, Chicago Tampa 2. Tampa (1-3) 9-13, N. Orleans Green LAND DIVISION Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Denvelway (1-3) 27-30, Irwindale San Diego 2. Philadelphia (1-3) 21-23, Minnehaha Houston 3. Miami (Fla.) (1-3) 13-15, Dickersons Minnehaha 4. Dickersons (1-3) d. Miami, 15-13 Olde England 5. Olde England (1-3) 6-31, Houston Dickersons

6. Seattle (2-2); 7. Pitt (1-3); 8. Kansas City (1-3); 9. Washington (2-2); 10. Detroit (1-3).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK (Bay Division): Need we say?

ROUT OF THE WEEK: San Diego (2-2) over Denvelway (1-3).

QUOTEBOOK: Phoenix owner Bill Bidwill, on the team’s inflated ticket prices: “There are plenty of $25-seats in the end zone.”

IDENTITY CRISIS: The Raiders, who moved to Los Angeles from Oakland, now say they’re going to skip on to Irwindale, and they have a radio announcer who shouts, “Holy Toledo!”

BAY POLLUTION?: “Some of their guys had Vaseline on their uniform and it rubbed off on the football,” Chicago Coach Mike Ditka said after the 24-6 win over Green Bay.