Mets’ Loss Was 8-Fold for Soviet

Wednesday wasn’t the best of days for Vadim Kulakov. He’s the catcher for the Soviet baseball team that played an exhibition game against Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore.

Before the game, Kulakov told the New York Times that he was a Met fan and that his idol was Gary Carter.

“Gary Carter wears No. 8, I wear No. 8, the year is ’88. Is there any doubt this is the Mets’ year?” he said.

The best you could say for the Mets is that they made it closer than the Soviets. Johns Hopkins won, 16-0. It was a no-hitter.

Said Oakland A’s pitcher Dave Stewart to Newsday, when told that Dodger Manager Tom Lasorda had taken a shot at Don Baylor after Baylor had taken a shot at the Dodgers: “Just stick some spaghetti in his mouth. That will keep him quiet for a while.”

Add A’s: General Manager Sandy Alderson, admitting that all his trades haven’t been productive, said the least memorable was the one that sent Mike Heath to St. Louis for Joaquin Andujar.

“Both teams got nothing,” Alderson told USA Today. “But our nothing was louder than theirs.”

Trivia Time: When the Dodgers went to the World Series in 1981, who was the MVP of the National League championship series? (Answer to follow.)

Lou Holtz is known for his one-liners, but Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post said nobody was laughing the first time he met with Notre Dame players after taking the job.

When Holtz walked into the meeting room, a number of players were slouched in their chairs talking. Holtz said, “Sit up and shut up.”

Then he looked down at Chuck Lanza, a second-team All-American center, and said, “How long have you been playing football?”

“About 10 years,” Lanza said.

“Well, this will be your last if you don’t get your feet off that chair,” Holtz said.

There are rumors that NBC is ready to dump Joe Garagiola after the World Series, but he told the Baltimore Sun he’s not going to change his folksy style.

“I’m not concerned whether Keith Hernandez hit .316 against left-handers on Astroturf on Ash Wednesday,” he said.

Would-you-believe-it Dept.: After Boston lost its National Basketball Assn. exhibition opener to Cleveland, 121-80, Peter May of the Hartford Courant said of Larry Bird: “He picked up where he left off in last spring’s rim-rattling display against Detroit (5 for 15).

“He missed layups. He had more turnovers (3) than baskets (1 for 8) at the half. And the hoop was a cutting layup. He finished with 10 points, not making an outside shot until there were 5 minutes 33 seconds left in the third quarter.”

The best college football team in the country? According to the New York Times’ computer ratings, it’s USC, with UCLA second.

Miami, the wire-service leader, is third, followed by Washington State. Miami’s opponent today, Notre Dame, is ninth.

Trivia Answer: Burt Hooton. He was 2-0 with an earned-run average of 0.00 in 14 innings as the Dodgers beat the Montreal Expos in 5 games.

Quotebook

Phoenix Cardinals Coach Gene Stallings, told that ESPN’s Chris Berman had called his team a juggernaut: “What does juggernaut mean?”