When He Goes Onto the Court, He Likes to Leave Calling Card

You don’t want to get a Christmas card from Rick Mahorn, Detroit Piston forward.

Why not?

According to Rolling Stone magazine, which profiles the Pistons in its current issue, Mahorn injured 14 opposing players on his “Christmas list.”

Mahorn once took out the entire Philadelphia 76ers backcourt in a game.

“I got Maurice Cheeks, gave him a mild concussion,” Mahorn said. “And I gave Andrew Toney a dislocated shoulder. And I got Clint Richardson, but he was just stunned for a little bit.”

Yet, Mahorn thinks his reputation as an enforcer is unwarranted.

“My reputation is media hype,” Mahorn said. “When I leave the court, I’ll pet your dog, I’ll kiss your daughter. I won’t sit and call everybody names.”

Mahorn said he doesn’t start trouble.

“It’s just a case of buzzard’s luck,” Mahorn said. “I always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Add Motor City Madmen: After Mark Aguirre was traded to the Pistons, his new teammates thought he had a big head.

“Hey, big head,” Rick Mahorn shouted at Aguirre. “They use your head for a chalkboard?”

“Naw,” Darryl Dawkins said. “They used it for the Rock of Gibraltar.”

Mahorn chipped in: “Yeah, they used it in social studies. The teacher said, ‘Check out Australia.’ ”

No Card Playing Allowed: Darryl Strawberry, New York Met outfielder, thinks his teammates are more interested in playing cards and golf than baseball.

The Mets, who have lost seven of their first 11 games and are in fifth place in the National League East.

“A lot of guys here act like we’re in Little League,” Strawberry said. “Just because we won last year can’t help us this year. We’re here to play ball, not play cards and golf. We don’t get paid to play cards and golf.

“You can play cards and all the golf you want in the winter. Maybe that’s fine for relaxing, but when you’re a last-place team you should be thinking about getting the job done on the field.”

Wait a Minute: In advancing the World Hockey Championships at Stockholm, National Public Radio reported the United States, a team comprised of collegiate stars and National Hockey League players, was not likely to win the event.

NPR also reported that players whose teams were eliminated from the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs were considering joining the U.S. team, including--get this--the Kings’ Wayne Gretzky.

Try Team Canada.

Gretzky may play for Los Angeles, but he still is Canadian.

Department of Coincidence: Delta Upsilon Fraternity knows how to select the National Collegiate Athletic Assn. basketball champion.

In 1987 Delta Upsilon set its annual convention for the University of Indiana and the Hoosiers went on to win the NCAA title game.

In 1988, DU scheduled its convention for Lawrence, Kan., and Kansas won the NCAA title.

Last fall, the fraternity selected Ann Arbor, Mich., as the site for its 1989 convention. Michigan, of course, won the 1989 NCAA title.

Behind the plate: If the name of one of the umpires in the California League this season rings a bell, it should. Kevin Dykstra of Placentia is the younger brother of Lenny Dykstra, the Met outfielder.

Quotebook: After being traded to the Edmonton Oilers in the deal that brought Wayne Gretzky to the Kings, center Jimmy Carson said: “I’m closer to the Stanley Cup than I was yesterday.”