Someone Thinks He Is Larger Than Life

What is 140 feet wide, 90 feet long and lives on the side of a wall?

Andre Agassi, of course.

The quixotic 18-year-old tennis star is getting his own mural, courtesy of Nike, which means that Agassi is following in the paintprints of such Nike clients and mural subjects as John McEnroe and Bo Jackson.

The mural is being painted on a wall of the Figueroa Hotel on Olympic and Figueroa and is scheduled to be completed over the weekend.

Agassi is portrayed hitting a forehand. The background is fluorescent orange. Since the mural is so large on the side of the building, Agassi’s hair is very long.

Cutting the mustard: There is a big problem in Cleveland, where the Indians have switched the mustard they serve on hot dogs at Municipal Stadium--Famous Bertman Ball Park Mustard--and replaced it with, yes, Authentic Stadium Mustard, because it was cheaper.

The trouble, according to the finely tuned tummies of generations of brave Indian fans, is that the new mustard doesn’t taste very authentic, no matter how you spread it.

Lee Snyder, 43, of Columbus, Ohio, was incensed. “It’s like taking the brats (bratwurst) out of Milwaukee,” he said.

Apparently, however, the hot doggers are simply skipping the mustard, perhaps going for the relish instead, since fans have been eating about 1 1/2 hot dogs apiece per game, the same as usual.

Trivia: What has not happened in 605 days?

Read this, feel better: Rodney Peete, you may not be doomed to mediocrity after all, even though you didn’t get drafted until the sixth round. Three other USC quarterbacks before you all got drafted late and went on to become NFL starters.

In 1975, the Rams didn’t draft Pat Haden until the seventh round. Vince Evans went to the Chicago Bears in the sixth round in 1977, and Paul McDonald wasn’t picked until the fourth round by the Cleveland Browns.

Disarming evidence: If Peete’s arm is so weak, USC quarterback Coach Chuck Stobart wonders why Peete was able to complete so many passes in the “deep out” pattern, in which the quarterback throws toward the opposite sidelines. Peete had farther to throw it, too, Stobart said.

“The hashmarks in college are a lot closer to the middle of the field than in the pros,” Stobart said. “We never felt his arm strength was a problem.”

Pass the Cup: “In the matter of the America’s Cup, America should now be both gracious and magnanimous. . . . It is better to race and lose than never more to race internationally at all. . . . There will then be an outpouring of social and national amenities for the next race. And a noble sport will be revivified.”

Sound reasonable? It’s from the Saturday Evening Post, the edition of Sept. 26, 1903.

Trivia answer: A trade by the Toronto Blue Jays. General Manager Pat Gillick is being called Stand Pat Gillick in the Toronto newspapers.

Paging Dr. Mike: Heavyweight champion Mike Tyson will receive an honorary doctorate in humane letters from Central State University in Wilberforce, Ohio.

Central State president Arthur Thomas said the school was honoring Tyson for his influence on young people.

Money matters: Should the Lakers go all the way and win the National Basketball Assn. title to complete the trifecta, they would earn $57,416 a player, if money from the playoff pool is divided into 12 even shares.

Quotebook: As the often wild Chicago Cubs pitcher Mitch Williams walked by the office of Manager Don Zimmer, he saw Zimmer rubbing his head and said: “Don’t worry, Skip. What little hair you got you won’t have when I get through with you.”