Blue-Plight Special Is Hard to Swallow

Suns rise, Suns set. Suns rise, Suns set. Forty-eight hours in Phoenix. Los Angeles’ lost weekend.

First, a sad, sad Saturday. Next, a sunny Sun Sunday. A mother of a Mother’s Day.

Lakers lose. Lakers lose.

By the time they got out of Phoenix, they were falling. And failing. And flailing. And folding. They were flatter than a . . . OK, fair is fair, Phoenix . . . a tortilla.

Kurt Rambis of the Suns (remember him?) invited some dope of a L.A. sportswriter onto his Phoenix TV show after Sunday’s Game 4 and made him take a bite out of a tortilla on the air, force-fed to him by that Phoenix mascot in the gorilla costume. They double-teamed him, same way the Suns have swarmed all over the Lakers.

“We were going to shred your column and stuff it into a burrito,” Rambis said.

The guy would have answered Rambis back, but he couldn’t talk with his mouth full.

A few days ago, this smog-breath predicted that Phoenix would fold like Mexican food. He boldly said the Suns would disappear on the horizon. Instead, it is the Lakers who have reached the vanishing point.

They don’t appear to be playoff-ready. They appear to be layoff-ready.

“It’s nervous time,” Michael Cooper said.

“Too late to look back,” James Worthy said.

Only Magic Johnson, who transcends tragedy, got out of town with his reputation intact. He scored 43 points in Sunday’s 114-101 Sun-bath. He had more baskets than the rest of the Laker starting lineup.

This Wednesday will be the 10th anniversary of Magic’s night of nights--the 42-point, 15-rebound game he played against the Philadelphia 76ers. Johnson served as guard, forward, center and assistant coach simultaneously and all but single-handedly won the NBA championship for the Lakers, christening a glorious new era of Winnin’ Time.

Earvin, you’d better do it again.

Last Wednesday, meanwhile, marked the 20th anniversary of Los Angeles’ eliminating Phoenix in the playoffs after falling behind in their series, three games to one. So, it has been done, you see. Four times in NBA postseason history, in fact, teams have come back from 3-1 disadvantages.

Laker boys, you’ll have to do it again.

But can you?

Can you overcome a Phoenix squad that outhustled you, outmuscled you, outshot you and outclassed you twice in 27 hours?

Can you even defeat this Sun team Tuesday at the Forum just to send this series back to Phoenix?

Will Big Game James Worthy come back from that not-so-big game he played here Sunday, when everything he shot seemed to come up short?

Will Byron Scott rediscover his outside shot (one three-pointer in two games), or will he be too busy trying to keep up with Kevin Johnson, who has been running him right out of the building?

Will Vlade Divac report back to active duty, after spending most of Game 4 as a spectator?

Will Orlando Woolridge ever figure out which way Tom Chambers went, or will he continue to show why the “d” in Woolridge is silent?

Will Mychal Thompson’s bad heel be the Achilles’ heel for the Lakers, who have gotten five baskets from their starting center in four games?

Will Larry Drew ever make another basket in this series? (He has one.)

Will anybody volunteer to keep Mark West away from the boards--or does Magic have to do that , too?

“Sporadic play from our big guys,” is a phrase Pat Riley used.

Sporadic? More like spasmodic.

Phoenix’s front line is eating the Lakers’ front line for lunch, like a burrito.

What’s going on down there, underneath the hoop? Kevin Johnson drives through the lane uncontested, any time he feels like it. Chambers shoots little hooks and finger-rolls as easily as if he were the size of Manute Bol. “Thunder Dan” Majerle thundered off the bench for 30 minutes and came up with as many rebounds as Magic, who worked 45 minutes.

Even forward/TV host Rambis had more rebounds (nine) Sunday than anybody on the visiting side except A.C. Green--and Rambo only played 24 minutes all day!

“It’s tough looking at Kurt from the other side,” Johnson said. “There is nothing he can do for us now.”

Well, he can always feed them.

What’s happened to the Lakers? Where did they go wrong? Why have they gone stale from about the time they tanked that season-ender at Portland? Why did they fall so far behind Houston before rallying? Why did they seem to be 10 points down at Phoenix every time they looked up?

It’s a mystery Nancy Drew couldn’t solve, much less Larry.

Even Riley’s confused. Asked what he said to his team at halftime, the Laker coach said: “I can’t even remember. I’ve got amnesia.”

Which is fine, as long as he and his players don’t forget the way L.A. defeated Philadelphia 10 years ago, when all looked bleak, or the way L.A. defeated Phoenix 20 years ago, when things looked bleaker still.

It’s just not easy to think that way.

Because it’s nervous time.