Padre Act Gets Comical In St. Louis

The folks of St. Louis have been reading all of the rave reviews for the past four weeks. Friends have told them all about it, saying this is a show that can not be missed.

But you know how reviews can be, lots of hype and a huge letdown. So who could blame the fans of St. Louis for being a bit skeptical when they arrived Thursday night to Busch Stadium, wondering if the show really could be as good as advertised.

Well, by the time the show ended Thursday night, with the bumbling Padres losing once again, 8-3, you should have seen the 29,688 paying customers.

They were standing on their feet, begging for more.

Fans were flicking their cigarette lighters, pleading for just one more appearance.

Sorry, the Padres said, that’s all for this night. They’ll be around for the next three days, so come on back, there’ll be plenty of more laughter.

Where else can you spend $5 bucks for the cheap seats and see the most comical team since the 1951 St. Louis Browns, whose owner had to resort to bringing in a midget for laughs.

Heck, all Padre chairman Tom Werner has to do is just throw nine players, any nine, on the field to generate the kind of laughter that has people tumbling down the aisles.

If the act starts to get stale . . . well, maybe that’s what Werner had in mind when he invited Roseanne Barr to sing the national anthem Wednesday. When she’s done, she can stick on a uniform and play a few innings.

Oh, those fun-loving Padres, losers of 17 of the past 20, when will they stop?

The last time the Padres ever had a worse 20-game stretch than this was when Nixon was President. The Padres twice had stretches of 18 losses in 20 games during their inaugural year in 1969, but stay tuned, 74 games still remain in this season.

No wonder when first baseman Jack Clark got ejected in the sixth inning by home-plate umpire Jerry Davis for arguing a called third-strike, Clark threw out this beauty:

“I might try to get thrown out every . . . day. I’d have more fun, that’s for sure.”

Oh, those Padres. Just when you think they can’t get any worse, they put on an exhibition like Thursday.

Where else can you see a team make two errors on this night, and 10 since the All-Star break? They’ve allowed 20 runs the past three games; 13 have been unearned.

Where else in the same game can you see Clark forget to cover a bunt at first base; shortstop Garry Templeton forget to cover second on a stolen-base attempt; third baseman Eddie Williams forget to swing on a hit-and-run; and second baseman Bip Roberts forget to get down on a ground ball that goes past him.

And you wonder why this team has somehow managed to lead at the end of just 36 of the past 185 innings?

“We’re just a bad team right now,” Clark said. “We’re playing bad, and we’ve been playing bad. The way we’re going right now, we’re giving teams a chance to break things wide open.”

Manager Greg Riddoch, who took over at the break for Jack McKeon, says to go ahead and blame him instead of his players. He’ll says that he’ll take responsibility for these defeats.

That’s awfully heroic of him, but hell, Connie Mack couldn’t win with this team.

Maybe it’s time Werner took over the public-address microphone the way former Padre owner Ray Kroc did on the opening day of 1974, and utter those infamous words: “This is the stupidest baseball I’ve ever seen.”

“We’re all trying to figure out what’s going on,” said Padre right fielder Tony Gwynn, who was celebrating his eighth anniversary of breaking into the big leagues. “I keep thinking we’ll turn it around, but I’m sure getting sick of saying it.”

Perhaps the biggest problem, Clark said, is their lack of direction. No one knows if the Padres are going after victories, if they’re in midst of a rebuilding process, or if they’re just plain experimenting.

“I think we need to get to the point where we need to say what we want to accomplish,” Clark said, “whether we’re in a building stage or whether we want to win. We’ve made a lot of changes, but we really haven’t put our finger on what we want to accomplish. We need to clarify that.

“I think we’re going through our rebuilding stage, but we haven’t actually admitted that to you guys (reporters), or to ourselves. And because of that, I don’t think it’s fair to a lot of the young players or the position players to say we’re an awful team. But the chemistry’s so messed up, we’re looking like one.”

“It’s obvious we’re not going to win it this year, anyway, but it’s tough to come in here and feel like a winner when you always lose. No one’s having fun in here. No one’s doing cartwheels. It’s screwed up.

“We’re not going to win no championship this year, but you can be champions without having the title.”

The Padres indeed have been in a state of transition the past 2 1/2 weeks. Not only do they have a new manager and two new coaches, but they have five players on their roster who were playing in triple-A just 16 days ago.

Riddoch, however, didn’t buy the argument as an explanation for their losing ways, and said that there’s no reason they shouldn’t be playing better than this.

“The job comes down to throwing the ball, hitting the ball, and catching the ball,” Riddoch said. “It’s a 10-day road trip, you can’t panic. Also, we have injuries, so we can’t throw the same lineup out there each day and go with it.”

The latest injury occurred to Roberts, who jammed his hand in the first inning while sliding into first base and likely will miss today’s game, Riddoch said.

“I’m getting to the point where nothing feels comfortable,” Roberts said, who has started at four different positions this season. “I basically don’t know where I’m playing each day. I mean, I know I’ll play, but I just don’t know where.

“But if I keep screwing up, I’m not going to be playing anywhere.”

That, of course, can be said about a whole lot of guys right now.

Padre Notes

Tony Gwynn, who has already had dozens of his bats stolen this season at San Diego Jack Murphy Stadium, almost had a bigger scare when he learned that burglars attempted to break into his house Sunday. But alarms went off, the police arrived and the burglars fled before anything was stolen. “Thank God nobody was home,” Gwynn said. “It would have really scared my family. There was no damage, but still, it makes you upset and pretty mad that something like that would happen.” . . . Andy Benes could miss his scheduled start Sunday against the Cardinals because of a sore left shoulder. If he’s unable to pitch, left-hander Derek Lilliquist will take his place. Benes, a righthander, still has a sore left shoulder from the melee July 12 against the Pittsburgh Pirates, when third baseman Bobby Bonilla tugged at his arm. “There’s no sense taking any chances, especially at this point of the season,” said Pat Dobson, Padre pitching coach.

The Padres finally got Davis from Kansas City. No, not that Davis. The Padres purchased the contract of reliever John Davis of Las Vegas to replace pitcher Mike Dunne, who Tuesday fractured his right leg Tuesday. Davis was raised in the Kansas City organization, but was traded in 1987 as part of the deal that sent pitchers Melido Perez, Greg Hibbard and Chuck Mount from Kansas City to Chicago for pitcher Floyd Bannister. Perez and Hibbard are in the White Sox starting rotation; Bannister is in Japan. Davis made his debut with the Padres on Thursday, pitching a hitless inning by inducing two ground balls and a strikeout. . . . When Calvin Schiraldi entered the game in the fifth inning in relief of Bruce Hurst, he became the first Padre pitcher since the Kroc era to wear a beard in uniform. The Kroc family, which has owned the team from 1984 to June, 1990, had a team rule prohibiting players from wearing beards. Schiraldi just started growing his beard a week ago. . . . Padre players Jack Clark, Ed Whitson and Mark Parent spent Wednesday night fishing at one of the lakes on Cardinal pitcher Danny Cox’s 80-acre estate. Clark led the group by catching two fish. Whitson and Parent were shut out. The highlight of the adventure? “It was pitch-black out there,” Parent said, “and a dog started paddling out of nowhere. We didn’t know what it was until it got close to us. It scared the hell out of us.”

Dal Maxvill, Cardinal general manager, met Wednesday night with Angel broadcaster Joe Torre to discuss the Cardinal managing job. He interviewed Gene Tenace on Thursday. . . . Whitey Herzog, former Cardinal Manager, on the continued poor play of the Cardinals: “I guess it wasn’t me. I thought I was the cause of it.” . . . Baby watch: Padre pitcher Mike Dunne’s wife, Pam, is due July 31 with their first baby; Parent’s wife, Wendy, is due Aug. 1 with their first-born. . . . Cardinal reliever Lee Smith, on the hazards of having two teammates with the same last name: “You’re walking through an airport, and somebody says, ‘Hey, Smitty,’ and three guys turn around.” . . . The Padres are batting just .172 on this trip with two out and runners in scoring position. . . . Garry Templeton obtained his first triple since Aug. 21, 1989, when Cardinal center fielder Willie McGee missed making a shoestring catch.

PADRES AT A GLANCEScorecard

SECOND INNING

Cardinals--Zeile homered to left, his 10th. Pendleton grounded to third. Oquendo flied to left. Thompson flied to left. One run, one hit. Cardinals 1, Padres 0.

THIRD INNING

Padres--Parent doubled to left center. Abner doubled to left, Parent scoring. Hurst popped to pitcher. Roberts flied to left. Gwynn struck out. One run, two hits, one left. Padres 1, Cardinals 1.

Cardinals--Magrane singled to center. Coleman bunted safely, Magrane stopping at second. Smith grounded to third, Magrane stopping at third, Coleman stopping at second. McGee reached second on second baseman Roberts’ fielding error, Magrane and Coleman scoring. Guerrero doubled, McGee scoring. Zeile popped to first. Pendleton homered, his sixth. Oquendo flied to left. Five runs (two earned), four hits. Cardinals 6, Padres 1.

SIXTH INNING

Cardinals--Schiraldi took the mound. Zeile singled to center. Pendleton flied to center. Oquendo walked. Zeile stole third, Oquendo stole second, Zeile scoring on shortstop Templeton’s fielding error, Oquendo taking second. Thompson struck out. Magrane struck out. One run (unearned), one hit, one error. Cardinals 7, Padres 1.

SEVENTH INNING

Padres--Carter walked. Templeton tripled, Carter scoring. Niedenfuer relieved Magrane. Parent grounded to third, Templeton scoring. Abner grounded to first. Alomar grounded to second. One run, one hit. Cardinals 7, Padres 3.

Cardinals--With one out, Smith doubled to left. McGee singled to right, Smith scoring. Guerrero singled to right, McGee stopping at second. Zeile grounded into double play, Guerrero forced at second. One run, three hits, one left. Cardinals 8, Padres 3.