Steelers Finally Able to Make Their Points

The fans at Three Rivers Stadium screamed in ecstasy. Players were hugging each other. A woman wearing a black-and-gold outfit was seen crying.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, at 1:37 p.m. local time, finally scored a touchdown with their offense, their first since Christmas Eve, 1989.

Historians will note that it was rookie tight end Eric Green who took the eight-yard pass from Bubby Brister with 14 minutes 2 seconds left in the second quarter. Green, realizing the historic value of all this, kept the football, running into the locker room after the game with it tucked under his right arm.

“I’ll never forget this one,” said Green, echoing the thoughts of the entire city.

After all, the Steelers had gone 279 days without an offensive touchdown. They had played 4 hours 31 minutes 3 seconds of game time without a touchdown. They had run 232 offensive plays this season without a touchdown.

“I tell you what,” said cornerback Rod Woodson, “if we hadn’t scored today, the definition of bad would have been the Steelers. They would have had to make up new dictionaries so they could have a picture of the Steelers under “bad.”

Said Tunch Ilkin, offensive right tackle: “I’m really glad we scored, because now I can leave my house again. It was getting so bad that I couldn’t even walk around town. I didn’t want to keep answering questions about our offense.”

The Steelers, suddenly feeling smug, then went out and did something crazy. They scored another touchdown. And another. And another.

By the time game ended, and the crowd of 53,486 stood dazed in disbelief. The Steelers had scored four offensive touchdowns in a 36-14 victory over the Chargers.

It as the Steelers’ biggest offensive bonanza since they scored 39 points on Oct. 23, 1988, against the Denver Broncos, and they celebrated by presenting the game ball to Joe Walton, the beleaguered offensive coordinator.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said, “but considering the way we’ve been struggling, I know I’ll sleep a lot better tonight.”

It was a week ago at this time when the crowd at Three Rivers began chanting, “Joe Must Go.” The talk shows were filled with fans rallying to donate money to send him on the next plane out. A local newspaper even ran a contest for readers to predict what week the Steelers would score their first offensive touchdown.

And, of course, the Steelers’ inept offense also provided plenty of humor.

Question: Do you know why Bubby Brister has been sleeping at Three Rivers Stadium?

Answer: His front door is painted like an end zone, and he can’t get in.”

“It’s been so frustrating,” Brister said, “I can’t even begin to tell you.”

The problem for the Steelers, who entered the game Sunday averaging eight points and 175.3 yards a game, is that they have yet to grasp Walton’s new offensive system. It also hasn’t helped, of course, that they aren’t real eager to bother learning it.

But perhaps coming to the realization that they, not Walton, were embarrassing themselves on the field each Sunday, they had a players-only team meeting Tuesday. The kind, running back Tim Worley said, “when everyone takes a hard look at themselves.”

And just like that, the Steelers gain 376 yards, with 25 first downs.

“If we play like this every week,” Brister said, “we can beat anybody.”

Can you play like this every week under the new offensive system?

“I’m not going to answer that one,” Brister said.

Brister still has difficulty adapting to the offensive scheme, even though it was greatly simplified against the Chargers. There was so much confusion after just the third play of the game that Brister had to call a timeout. And then they couldn’t get a play off in time and were penalized for delay of game.

The biggest obstacle, Brister maintains, is that Walton continues to use a shuttle system of players bringing the play to the huddle.

“By the time it gets to the third party, which is me,” Brister said, “I’m not even sure it’s the right play. It’s like how rumors are started. By the time it gets around, its damned near a lie.

“It’s like we ran a play today, ‘Two split right, tight Z, short motion, short sprint-left, 49 on 2.’

“You try repeating that. I’m no brain surgeon. But I am the same quarterback I was last year, I’ll tell you that.”

It’s quite likely the Steelers’ woes won’t quickly vanish considering their next two games: at Denver and at San Francisco.