Pirates, Reds Might As Well End It Now

The National League Championship Series, otherwise known as the national waste of time, resumes tonight, although the Pirates and the Reds have run out of reasons why.

This playoff had the right idea a week ago when it decided to take two days off. Now, it should try for two months. The Pirates and the Reds have seen the enemy . . . and wouldn’t it be a good thing if we all got back together next spring, when we’re refreshed, maybe after the A’s had some time to lose a few free agents?

Right now, the Pirates and the Reds are playing for the right to be embarrassed in front of millions of strangers and dozens of friends who are about to become the same. Zane Smith? The guy who gave up four home runs to Canseco in Game 3? No, he was never the best man at my wedding, I swear.

Does America really need to watch Jeff Reed hit against Dave Stewart? Is Rickey Henderson, on the basepaths, and Joe Oliver, behind the plate, anybody’s idea of a fun night of entertainment?

Every day you hear how college football would be better off with a playoff system. Right now, major league baseball needs bowl games. The A’s just played theirs and have swept the polls. Let the Pirates and the Reds finish theirs and have at least one of them leave happy.

No one forced Fresno State, proud champion of the 1989 California Bowl, to go out and get mauled by Miami.

The NL playoffs are rapidly becoming the Democratic primary. Pity the poor winner. Soon, either the Reds or the Pirates will advance and, starting Tuesday, will begin to go the way of the 1990 Red Sox, the 1989 Giants and the 1989 Blue Jays.

Four games--five games, max--and out.

The A’s have become the new New York Yankees. Misters October. This is partially because the real New York Yankees have become the Cleveland Indians and partially because no one is willing, or has the will, to break up the A’s. Other teams will hand them Willie McGee and Harold Baines--welcome to the New Collusion--but who out there can hand them a postseason defeat?

Since their last one, the 1988 cataclysm against the Dodgers, the A’s are 12-1 in the postseason. In their past three American League playoff series, the A’s are 12-1. (For the record, Toronto beat Oakland, 7-3, on Oct. 6, 1989, in Game 3 of the AL playoffs. It can happen. You can look it up.) The A’s have become a baseball writer’s best friend. After seven months of the plane-hotel-and-deadline grind, Oakland In Four has become a guaranteed two-day respite for the haggard beat man headed into the World Series.

Unlike the most recent baseball dynasties--Oakland, early ‘70s; Cincinnati, mid-’70s--the current A’s are not aging and have not been diluted by attrition. The scariest part about these A’s is that they’re young and their great players keep multiplying.

Oakland in 1988: The A’s had a superb team--108 victories, regular season and ALCS combined--centered on Jose Canseco’s 40-40 season, Dave Stewart’s 21 wins and Dennis Eckersley’s 45 saves. But because of one pitch (to Kirk Gibson) and one pitcher (Orel Hershiser), they lost the World Series.

Oakland in 1989: The A’s add Mike Moore to the rotation and Rickey Henderson to the top of the lineup. They beat the Blue Jays in the playoffs and sweep the Giants in the Series.

Oakland in 1990: The A’s add Willie McGee and Harold Baines. They sweep the Red Sox in the playoffs. Blowout in the Series pending.

You know the situation is grim when the National League’s bright ray of hope is Walt Weiss’ knee injury. When Weiss is out, Tony La Russa has to start Mike Gallego at short and Willie Randolph at second. This supposedly weakens the A’s.

In the playoffs, Gallego batted .400 against Boston. Randolph hit .375.

There used to be a way to pitch to the A’s. Hershiser and the Dodgers knew it: Keep the heavy lumber off balance and inside the ballpark and you can conquer the singles hitters.

No more. Boston held Oakland without a home run through four games and failed to win any of them. Today, the A’s can afford to forget the long ball. They have found the Willie McGee walk, stolen base and Harold Baines double to be just as deadly.

There are simply too many hitters, too many pitchers. The Oakland rotation harbors two of the American League’s top three Cy Young contenders, Stewart and Bob Welch, and after you get past them, there’s Moore and Scott Sanderson. La Russa’s bullpen has become the 1990s model for late-inning pitching strategy--stall them with Gene Nelson and Rick Honeycutt in the middle, terminate them with Eckersley in the end.

It’s not fair, and it’s no fun, but 25 other teams conspired to help create this monster. St. Louis and Texas didn’t have to trade McGee and Baines. Atlanta didn’t have to pass on drafting Todd Van Poppel. The AL West didn’t have to send the underfed White Sox to do the bidding that had been promised by the Angels and the Royals.

The white flag is up and it has never flown higher. The A’s look unstoppable in this October and the next few after that. It’s sad. It’s enough to make one long for the halcyon days of parity, when even the most common of folk could rise up and sully the good name of the World Series championship.

Yes, Minnesota Twins nostalgia is finally upon us.