THE HIGH SCHOOLS : Beefy Royal Linemen Carry Team to Record Eight Wins and Hog Heaven

Membership is an honor, or so claim cardholders in this club.

Prerequisites to admission: a) must weigh at least 200 pounds; b) must be able to bench-press 300 pounds and push-start a rusting hulk of an automobile; c) must be capable of putting away several pizzas in a single sitting; d) must be willing to waive all of the above if the mood strikes.

Welcome to Club Hog, where a jacket and tie are certainly not mandatory.

The Hogs are the members of Royal’s offensive and defensive lines, a group of free-spirited (read: flaky) and burly (read: large) guys who are in large part responsible for the team’s eight wins and five shutouts, both school records. Royal is 8-1-1 overall.

Friday night, the Highlander lines so dominated Westlake in a 37-0 victory that third-year Royal Coach Gene Uebelhardt afterward deemed “just brutal” the pounding his team administered.

“We had one camera on just the offensive and defensive lines,” Uebelhardt said. “And we were in control.”

And the we, we, we, in this case, were Uebelhardt’s piggies in the trenches. Enter the Hogs, whose moniker could also be applied to the vigor with which the group hits the dinner trough. According to Uebelhardt, they meet each Friday night before the game to eat pizza at a Simi Valley restaurant, thus ensuring that nobody falls below the 200-pound weight limit. Fat chance, Uebelhardt said.

Uebelhardt said the Hogs’ primary mode of transportation is a 1950 Plymouth sedan that belongs to Jason Evans, a 6-foot-2, 258-pound junior. Evans is the Hogs’ lone two-way starter, playing at right guard and defensive tackle.

“It has no starter and no battery, so for that thing to move, you have to push it,” Uebelhardt said. “It’s the sickest color of maroon I’ve ever seen. I think it’s the original paint. And probably the original tires.”

The Hogs rarely break down. The same cannot be said for Evans’ coupe de thrille.

“They were all late for a meeting a couple of weeks ago,” Uebelhardt said. “Evans said he thinks they ran out of gas, but he wasn’t sure because the car has no gauges. Those guys probably think the ‘E’ stands for enough.”

Membership has its privileges. Hogs are the only Royal players allowed to wear pig stickers--distributed for standout play--on the backs of their helmets. The stickers, which are green and emblazoned with the mascot of the Arkansas Razorbacks, are the hottest item on one of the hottest teams in the area.

A couple of weeks ago, the team invoked Rule D of its membership charter and elected kicker Steve Prchal to the group. Prchal, according to Uebelhardt, “weighs 130 with his uniform on.”

“Prchal made a tackle right in front of the Hogs (on the sideline), and they loved it,” Uebelhardt said of the kicker’s unlikely selection. “So I guess that makes him a cameo Hog.”

With the Hogs keying a defense that has allowed an average of just 7.3 points a game, it’s a safe bet the Highlanders will make more than a cameo appearance in the Southern Section Division II playoffs.

Taking his flak with a smile: . . . . Ladies and gentlemen, starting at quarterback for Crespi High, the Michelin Man.

Cody Smith suffered a fractured rib and a bruised kidney a week ago and did not know if he would be able to play in Friday’s Mission League showdown against Notre Dame.

But Smith was there, although when he rolled onto the field at Pierce College, it looked like Crespi had rolled out the barrel. Smith was wearing a specially designed flak jacket that had been constructed and delivered to him the day before the game.

“It’s quite a contraption,” Crespi Coach Tim Lins said. “It’s this one-piece thing that wrapped all the way around his back. It’s huge.”

Smith, no scarecrow to begin with at 6-2 and 200 pounds, looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

“Hey, I’d rather look like that guy and be protected,” Smith said.

Smith tossed fourth-quarter touchdown passes of 18 and 59 yards to lead the Celts to a 21-10 victory.

Highlanders II: The clan at Royal is not the only group of Highlanders playing stifling defense. Granada Hills has posted four shutouts in its past seven games.

Granada Hills (8-1) held El Camino Real (6-2) to a mere 67 yards in a 21-0 victory Friday that guaranteed the Highlanders at least a share of a fifth consecutive league title and the league’s top seeding in the City Section 4-A Division playoffs.

“The defense had a couple of rough weeks,” said co-Coach Darryl Stroh, whose team allowed 53 points in two games after posting three consecutive shutouts to open Northwest Valley Conference play. “It looks like we’re coming back around.”

You make the call: Did San Fernando Coach Tom Hernandez’s litany of complaints influence the officials in Friday’s 28-24 victory over Kennedy?

Hernandez, incensed over what he believed were bad calls in the Tigers’ two previous games, protested in person last week to City Commissioner Hal Harkness.

Hernandez, among other things, said he told Harkness that he “was sick of refs calling penalties that never happened.”

On Friday, Kennedy was penalized 13 times for 135 yards. And San Fernando? Once for five yards.