Still Funny: Palimony patriarch Marvin Mitchelson represents...

Still Funny: Palimony patriarch Marvin Mitchelson represents Kathy Swanson in her suit against her former husband, foul-mouthed comedian Andrew Dice Clay, but the lawyer hasn’t divorced himself from Clay’s humor. “He makes me laugh,” Mitchelson said, but he wants his client to have the last one: “I’m not in this case for laughs, but for $6 million for Kathy.”

Barred: Prison romances at North Dakota State Penitentiary blossomed from furtive to fervent, so security chief Steve Scott said Wednesday he had to put a stop to co-ed work, recreation and religious programs in the Bismarck, N.D., facility. An example: One 19-year-old female prisoner is pregnant because she made more than soup in the kitchen with a 25-year-old male convict. But now Scott has another problem on his hands: “About all I’ve done the last two days is deal with angry couples.”

Punt, Mario, Punt: New York Gov. Mario Cuomo fumbled the ball when he proclaimed the Buffalo Bills the state’s only pro football team because the New York Giants are based in New Jersey. But with the teams going head-to-head in Sunday’s Super Bowl, he now says both sides are “New York-born . . . . Either way, New York is the big winner.” Would a Giants victory in Tampa, Fla., mean a ticker-tape parade in Manhattan? Cuomo wouldn’t say.

No Longer Forbidden: Women wearing swimsuits and big smiles will strut across a stage in China’s first-ever beauty pageant in May. The contest will be staged in the Forbidden City, the former residence of emperors within Beijing. Chen Shuyu, consul of China’s Consulate General in Los Angeles, said such an event “was unthinkable 10 years ago . . . . It will be somewhat mysterious for the Chinese people and somewhat entertaining.”