Only in L.A.

When a Vancouver company decided to unload a used, armor-plated limousine with bulletproof windows, guess where it chose to run newspaper ads?

L.A. of course.

“It would be great for those L.A. freeways,” said Ken Bodnarchuk, co-owner of Classic Limousine Service, referring to the tendency of motorists to occasionally settle disputes with firearms. “Not only are the windows bulletproof but the body has 3/8-inch armor plating. And it goes like a rocket.”

While the company pays as much as $100,000 for new models, Bodnarchuk is offering the 1983 Mercury Marquis for a mere $10,000.

We were mildly interested ourselves, until we found about the limo’s one defect. “It has a cracked windshield,” Bodnarchuk revealed.

Shoot.

Speaking of the hazards of L.A.’s roadways, a couple of readers--burned-out drivers, no doubt-- have come up with a different translation of the REQDNLA license plate spotted on a Mercedes Benz recently. Rather than “Required,” they wonder if the car wasn’t “Wrecked” in L.A. Or perhaps a candidate for same.

But enough about driving. Let’s move on to parking. John Webster of Rancho Palos Verdes sends along a photo of a black-and-white boldly docked next to a no-police-car sign at a Torrance courthouse. On the other hand, there’s no ticket under the windshield, either.

One Ronald McDonald, to go:

California Environmental Project workers were clearing a canyon near Chatsworth of the traditional urban discards of old cars, tires, furniture, etc., when they made a bizarre find:

A 6 1/2-foot-tall Ronald McDonald statue.

“It was lying face down in the creek,” said Scott Mathes, executive director of the nonprofit group.

Mathes, who has taken temporary custody of Ronald, contacted McDonald’s headquarters, which is checking to see if it has received any missing mascot reports.

We’ve previously mentioned that USC’s student turnout was so low for its last home game that the card stunts had to be canceled. Now comes a press release from Lawry’s California Center announcing that it’s hosting a “USC pregame pep rally” tonight to get fans primed up for Saturday’s game “at the famous Pasadena Rose Bowl.”

Trojan rooters, listen up, please: The game will actually be played in the famous L.A. Memorial Coliseum.

One more thing: The Lawry’s announcement refers to the game as “a scrimmage.” Was this the work of a Bruin fan who was subtly referring to the fact that USC, a seven-time loser this year, isn’t expected to give UCLA much of a game?

miscelLAny:

The fastest speed achieved on a skateboard while standing, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, was 53.45 m.p.h., recorded by John Hutson of Signal Hill in 1978.