NBC Is Going Coach, Not First Class

Does this sound familiar? Former coach gets job at NBC. Time, money and patience are spent on grooming him. Former coach leaves NBC to return to coaching.

Well, here we go again.

Bill Parcells probably will be elevated to fill Bill Walsh’s role as NBC’s No. 1 pro football commentator, now that Walsh has left to become Stanford’s coach.

How long will it be before Parcells leaves NBC to go back into coaching? One season? Two?

Parcells hasn’t sparkled in the studio, but he probably will get the promotion and a $350,000 raise to $600,000. All because he is a former coach. And not just any former coach, but the former coach of the New York Giants, the team New York-based network television executives follow.

Parcells is a much bigger name in New York than in the rest of the country.

Maybe Parcells eventually will turn into a fine commentator. No question he is bright. He was accepted at Dartmouth and several other Ivy League schools before choosing to play football at Wichita State, where he was an all-conference linebacker.

But Parcells’ gruff exterior is a turnoff to many, and he has done little to show that he possesses any special broadcasting skills.

NBC has another hole to fill, because it’s unlikely Parcells will take over Walsh’s spot on Notre Dame football.

A candidate to fill that role is Todd Christensen, who has expressed interest.

By the way, Walsh will be back on NBC next Oct. 3, when Stanford plays at Notre Dame.

NCB, the National Corn-Ball network, has struck again. Nothing wrong with having a little fun, but that self-serving, idiotic skit NBC put on at halftime of the AFC Championship game last Sunday was a total embarrassment.

Will McDonough, who picked more upset winners during the season than “NFL Live” colleagues Bob Costas, O.J. Simpson and Parcells, was shown in a fancy hotel room in his nightgown and nightcap as the other three served him breakfast in bed.

It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t clever, it wasn’t anything.

It’s as if some genius at NBC thought, “What can we do that is more corny than having Costas muss up Pat Riley’s hair after beating him in a free-throw shooting contest?”

Those who participated in Sunday’s debacle should hang their heads in shame, especially McDonough. He looked absolutely ridiculous.

And this is supposed to be a credible reporter?

At least, McDonough did get off a decent line directed at Parcells, who had a cloth napkin draped over his arm: “Finally found a job, huh, Bill?”

Add corny: NBC wasn’t alone in the self-serving department last Sunday.

CBS showed a taped piece in which injured Detroit nose tackle Jerry Ball read a phony newspaper headline about this Sunday’s unveiling of the All-Madden team and wondered if he would make it.

The All-Madden team was a good gimmick for a while, but it’s time to put it out to pasture.

ESPN was the big sports winner at cable television’s ACE Awards Sunday at the Pantages Theater in Hollywood. ESPN award-winners were “Sunday Night NFL,” “SportsCenter,” Roy Firestone and his “Up Close,” basketball commentator Jim Valvano and College World Series director Chip Dean.

The NFL coverage, “SportsCenter” and Dean were repeat winners, as was play-by-play honoree Marv Albert, who announces the New York Knicks’ games for the Madison Square Garden network. Chick Hearn was a nominee in this category.

HBO’s “When It Was a Game” was another winner, the 15th ACE Award for HBO sports’ executive producer, Ross Greenburg.

“I can remember getting my first in 1978,” Greenburg said. “It came in the mail.”

Now the ACE Awards show is a nationally televised gala event.

Greenburg pointed out another problem with holding the Super Bowl in Minnesota.

“We’ve been having trouble getting guests to come to Minneapolis to appear on the Super Bowl edition of ‘Inside the NFL,’ ” he said. “We usually get anyone we want.”

HBO will tape next week’s show Tuesday in Minneapolis. The Raiders’ Ronnie Lott is among those who have passed on an expenses-paid trip to the Snow Belt.

TV-Radio Notes

NBC will televise the NHL All-Star game Saturday at 10 a.m. One of the stories to be woven into the telecast is about late Toronto owner Harold Ballard’s protest of a league edict that names be put on all jerseys. Ballard, concerned that such a practice would kill program sales, put white lettering on white jerseys and blue lettering on blue jerseys. . . . Between the first and second periods, there will be a salute to the late Bob Johnson, former coach of the Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins, who died of a brain tumor. . . . SportsChannel will televise tonight’s hockey festivities, including an old-timers’ game, from the Spectrum in Philadelphia live at 4 p.m. and will replay Saturday’s game that evening at 5.

This week’s edition of “Power Stick Hockey Week” on Prime Ticket tonight at 6:30 will feature Atlanta Brave pitcher Tom Glavine, a fourth-round draft of the Kings in 1984. . . . NBC has an NBA doubleheader Sunday, beginning at 9 a.m. It’s Chicago-Detroit followed by Portland-Phoenix. Marv Albert, who will announce Saturday’s hockey game with John Davidson, will work the first NBA telecast Sunday with Mike Fratello. Tom Hammond and Steve Jones will work the second NBA game.

Channel 9 will show Stu Lantz as a player on “Lakers Tonight” Saturday night at 6:30, before the Laker telecast from Seattle at 7. . . . UCLA’s Jim Harrick will be interviewed on CNN’s “College Coaches Corner” Sunday at 8 a.m. . . . Sports figures Sugar Ray Leonard, Steve Carlton and Ed (Too Tall) Jones will appear on Fox’s “Married . . . With Children” Sunday at 9 p.m. They make a shoe commercial with Al Bundy. As usual, things don’t go Al’s way.

Recommended viewing: Parts I and II of Bud Greenspan’s outstanding “Calgary ‘88: 16 Days of Glory” will be shown Sunday on Channel 28 from 2 to 6 p.m. . . . HBO has an attractive fight show Saturday night, with Meldrick Taylor facing Glenwood Brown and Pernell Whitaker taking on 36-year-old Harold Brazier, who has had 90 fights. George Foreman joins Jim Lampley and Larry Merchant at ringside. . . . A rematch of one of the best fights of 1991--Azumah Nelson vs. Jeff Fenech--will be televised by Showtime from Australia on Feb. 29.

HBO plans to show “When It Was a Game II” on July 6, the Monday before baseball’s All-Star game. Also, the original “When It Was a Game” will soon be out in video. . . . ESPN has received more than 6,000 orders for the video of the Dec. 17 show, “Dick Vitale: The Game of Life,” in which Vitale delivers an impassioned speech to 125 high school basketball stars at a camp in Indianapolis. Details: (800) 348-1600.

ESPN was wrong when it reported that Bill Walsh has hired retired Denver quarterback Gary Kubiak as one of his assistant coaches at Stanford. According to Kubiak’s wife, Rhonda Kubiak, there has been no contact between Kubiak and Walsh since the two talked after a practice last week and Walsh said he would recommend Kubiak for a job at Stanford. Kubiak is considering returning to his alma mater, Texas A&M;, or joining the Bronco staff, although a position at Stanford is not completely out of the picture.

Here’s another name to throw in the Channel 2 hat: Former ABC sportscaster Mike Adamle, better known recently for his work on “American Gladiators,” has applied for the station’s sports opening. . . . Vin Scully and Mark Rolfing will be the announcers for the Senior Skins Game on ABC Jan. 25-26. . . . Former Detroit Tiger announcer Ernie Harwell has signed a two-year contract to work 26 Saturday baseball broadcasts for CBS Radio. . . . Channel 11 announced that it will televise 46 regular-season Dodger games and four exhibition games. TBS announced that it will televise 123 Atlanta Braves games, including 15 against the Dodgers.

Raycom’s basketball contract with the Pacific 10 Conference expires after this season, and a holdup on a new deal is the resistance of Pac-10 schools to playing on Sundays. “We’re trying to accommodate their needs,” said Chuck Steedman, Raycom’s director of program development. “What we might do is go to Saturday doubleheaders. It will probably turn out that only network games will be played on Sundays.” . . . Cal State Northridge has a deal with a national packager, Hagen Sportsnet, to have four basketball games, four baseball games and five volleyball matches televised, tape-delayed, on commercial and cable TV throughout the country. The package begins with Saturday night’s home game against Southern Utah, which will be shown on the local carrier, KAGL (Channel 30) at 3 p.m. on Jan. 25. The announcers are Joe Buttitta and Paul Bubb, Northridge’s director of athletic development. Buttitta is now a teaching pro at Westlake Golf Course.