Goalies Keep Each Other in Stitches, El Toro on Top

You could blame it on boredom. Dismiss it as adolescence. Say it has something to do with the moon and the stars and the sun.

But only Traci Jensen and Allegra Garcia know what inspires their wacky ways.

“We’re strange,” Traci says.

“We’re weird,” Allegra says.

We’re not going to argue. After all, the two El Toro goalkeepers are known for nuttiness. They’re the Laverne and Shirley of soccer, the Tom and Jerry of tomfoolery.

You know that rain everyone’s so sick of? Jensen and Garcia love it. How else could they make like little piggies and slosh through the mud?

“We see a mud puddle,” Garcia says, “and we just have to sit in it.”

Of course. They also have to tape themselves like mummies, or kiss the goal posts, or wear pants atop their head, or sing and dance in their Bart Simpson socks during practice.

Wait a sec, you’re saying. These kids can’t really be from El Toro High. The school that churns out champions? The athletic scholarship hot spot?

‘Tis true. Not only that, but the El Toro girls’ soccer team is top-ranked in the Southern Section 4-A, the Chargers are the section’s two-time defending champions, and Jensen and Garcia have been sharing the goalie position for three seasons.

When El Toro Coach Kerry Krause took over the program last season, he didn’t know quite what to think of Jensen and Garcia. He now has them pegged.

“Flakes,” he says.

Krause, a good-natured sort, says this with a laugh. Goalkeepers are a different breed, he says, and that’s fine with him. But more importantly, he believes Jensen, a junior who plays the second half, and Garcia, a senior starter, are the best goalies in the South Coast League--if not the county.

But they rarely get to prove it. Although they routinely make sensational saves during practice, Jensen and Garcia spend most of their matches watching the ball get kicked around the other half of the field. Such is the strength of the Charger defense, sweeper Jenny Clabaugh in particular. Statistically, it adds up to little or nothing. While some goalies average 10 or more saves, Jensen and Garcia say they’re lucky if they get a couple of opportunities each half.

(Last Thursday’s showdown against Mission Viejo was the exception, at least for Jensen, who made five saves. El Toro had a 2-0 lead with minutes to play, but Mission Viejo tied the score on two quick goals by sophomore forward Shannon Cunningham to secure a league co-championship).

Generally, though, it’s slow going. Diversions are a must. Of course, we’re talking about two very creative fun-seekers here.

There are the socks: Garcia goes for The Simpsons; Jensen covers her toes in Teen-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles. (She doesn’t stop there. Jensen has T.M.N.T. sheets, pillow cases, comforter, headboard and bed frame. And don’t forget the lunch pail).

There’s the song-and-dance routine. Though they won’t disclose the lyrics--they turned red, so that should give you a clue--this little ditty apparently keeps them well entertained out there.

There’s the mud sliding. You want to accuse them of playing dirty? Fine by them. They like it that way. Bring on the mud.

In Thursday’s match, Jensen came up with the idea to make Krause wear a different piece of blue and gold clothing for every goal the Chargers scored. The catch? The clothing came from a swap meet, and looked, well, completely ridiculous. Especially the big floppy sock--soaked in mud within minutes--he had to wear over his shoe.

But it’s their bubbly personalities that make this duo so delightful. Well, that is if you can figure out what they’re saying. Like twins, they’ve been together so long, they seem to have developed their own form of communication. Jensen was asked about her best save this season. To the best of our knowledge, this is what followed:

Jensen: I don’t know, I guess it would be . . .

Garcia: Capo!

Jensen: Yeah, or . . .

Garcia: No! Remember how you . . .

Jensen: Sidestepped over?

Garcia: It was, like, a totally awesome save.

Jensen: It was?

Garcia: And totally raining!

Jensen: Mmm-hmm.

Garcia: You were, like, covered.

Jensen: Mud? Yeah!

Garcia: I was mad. You got muddier than me.

Jensen: But I was freezing . . .

Garcia: Yeah, but . . .

Yeah, but what? About the only time these two settled down was when Garcia got clobbered after making a save at an early season tournament. After nearly doing a back flip to make the save, she came down--head first--on a player’s foot, and was knocked unconscious. The sidelines got quiet and the trainers rushed out. After a few moments, Garcia woke up, crying.

She remembers voices asking, Can you move your fingers? Can you move your toes? Does it hurt here? Does it hurt there? She remembers looking up at Krause and hearing him ask if she was all right.

Her response?

“Does my makeup look OK?”

“Well,” Garcia said. “My boyfriend was on the sideline.”

Probably shaking his head like everyone else.

Barbie Ludovise’s column appears Sunday and Wednesday. Readers my reach Ludovise by writing her at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, 92626, or by calling 966-5847.