Why did the chicken cross the freeway?...

Why did the chicken cross the freeway? Each time “Only in L.A.” is about to submit its Freeway Chicken investigative series to the Pulitzer people, the case takes a new turn.

First, we attributed the origin of the birds--still seen occasionally along the Hollywood Freeway--to a poultry truck crash in the late 1960s. Then, a Granada Hills man said no, the chickens were dumped there by his wife and her sister, who, as children, had rescued them from a school that was closing. Then a Hollywood resident said no, they were his birds--chased off by his pit bull.

Now a North Hollywood man named Michael phones to say: “I’ve kept quiet for years, but you have it all wrong. It was myself and my brother who were responsible.”

Michael explained that the birds were pets they discarded after complaints by neighbors. “We were afraid to confess after (their numbers) got out of hand because we thought the city would bill us,” said Michael, who still isn’t ready to reveal his last name. “What’s always amazed us is how long they lasted.”

Actually, with all the detachments of chickens arriving along the freeway, what’s really amazing is that there ever was enough room for the cars to get through.

Well, Garfield is getting on in years: “It seems even some of our four-legged friends share our concerns about aging,” jokes Marlena Ross of Senior Health and Peer Counseling in Santa Monica. She enclosed a clipping from a weekly newspaper that begins: “Aging conference-- Mew insights on aging.”

He’s no Columbo: After The Times published an article on the Nick Harris Detective Academy in Van Nuys, a prospective applicant phoned here to ask how he could contact the school. The neophyte sleuth was given his first lesson in dogged tracking--try consulting the phone book.

Men’s liberation? Intrigued by the sign outside the Hollywood Woman’s Club (see photo), we phoned the organization and were assured there hasn’t been a takeover by the opposite sex.

Hot air: A reporter investigating elected officials’ trips--often financed with campaign contributions--found a notation for $169 for “Lumas Air Inc.” for state Sen. Diane Watson (D-L.A.).

Asked about the expenditure, Watson’s aides were puzzled at first but finally figured it out. Watson, an L.A. County supervisorial candidate, didn’t go anywhere, an aide joked, “unless she went into the air ducts.”

The $169 was a payment for heating in her campaign headquarters.

Motorists aren’t singing: Reader Maria Calleio points out that California drivers “aren’t getting their refunds from the auto insurance proposition. But people from around the country are getting refunds from the Milli Vanilli concerts.”

miscelLAny:

The L.A. Business Journal reports that Tommy Koulax, owner of Tommy’s Original World Famous Hamburgers on Rampart Boulevard, has successfully sued more than 20 name-alike imitators.