If Elvis Is Dead, This Quarterback Is NFL Draft Pick

Mike Pawlawski might as well have been taking an examination for the CIA. Instead it was a pre-draft questionnaire from the New York Giants in the form of a personality test.

Gary Swan of the San Francisco Chronicle reported that the former California quarterback was asked 487 questions, such as:

“Do you like your your carrots crunchy or boiled soft?” and “Do you believe Elvis Presley is dead?”

Said Pawlawski: “There were a lot of weird questions, and maybe they wanted to make sure their next quarterback isn’t a potential ax murderer. I know that Buffalo was able to reduce the same test to 35 questions.”

Add draft: At the scouting combine at Indianapolis, players were subjected to thorough physical examinations.

“These doctors were like attack teams,” Pawlawski said. “One guy is poking your knee, and so you look down at him and another guy asks you about your shoulder, and while you’re trying to tell him you never hurt your shoulder, somebody else jerks your elbow.”

Trivia time: Donn Moomaw, UCLA’s All-American linebacker, was the Rams’ first draft choice in 1953, but he never played for the Rams or any other NFL team. Why? Never too old: Gerry Lee has been playing basketball in Finland for about 20 years. And now, at the age of 41, he’s about to become a rookie.

Lee, a Boston native, has been selected to play for the Finnish national team, the first foreign-born player picked to compete for Finland in international competition.

Lee, whose brother Ron played in the NBA with Phoenix and Detroit, is married to a Finnish high school teacher and is the father of four children.

An indoor swimming pool supervisor and lifeguard, Lee stays in shape by swimming, running and lifting weights.

Doubletalk: John Steigerwald, writing for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, said that Pirate outfielder Barry Bonds has a credibility problem.

“He was quoted in the Pittsburgh Press as saying, ‘It’s not just money that makes you want to be with a ballclub. The atmosphere. The surroundings.’

“Then, this quote was attributed to Bonds in the New York Daily News: ‘I’d like to go home to San Diego or Los Angeles/Anaheim, but I’ll play in New York, Chicago, Africa, wherever the money is.”’

His own man: Wisconsin defensive back Troy Vincent told USA Today that he plans to negotiate his NFL contract without an agent.

“The University of Wisconsin taught me how to read, to write, to write a check, to read a bank statement. I don’t need to pay someone five percent to six percent of my money to fill out checks for me to send back to Citibank.”

Colemanisms: The malapropisms of Jerry Coleman, play-by-play announcer for the San Diego Padres, are recalled in “Voices of The Game,” by Curt Smith. A sampling:

--”On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo.”

--”Rick Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen.”

--”Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus.”

--”(John) Grubb goes back, back. He’s under the warning track and makes the play.”

Trivia answer: His religious beliefs wouldn’t permit him to play on Sunday. He is better known now as the Rev. Donn Moomaw of the Bel-Air Presbyterian Church.

Quotebook: Lee Trevino on Chi Chi Rodriguez: “He’s about 145 pounds soaking wet, and I don’t know how he carries his heart around.”