They Are Favorite Suns Now

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. Now that Charles Barkley has gone from the Seventy-Sixers to the Phoenixers--yeah, I know, but I liked the sound of it--there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the hot-blooded Suns have what it takes to go Chicago Bullfighting.

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. Into the Valley of the Sun rides the round mound of rebound, where true happiness awaits. (Phoenix’s fans, friendlier but not quite so hip as Philadelphia’s, probably will call him Chuck.)

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. I never tire of saying it. “Barkley in the Big Valley.” Hey, it sounds like a Western hit that should run for years. Who owns the spread--Linda Evans or Barbara Stanwyck?

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. Somebody has to succeed Chicago, three-peats being virtually impossible. Until this big trade, though, I wasn’t sure which NBA outfit had the stuff to get the job done. Now I know. Here come the Suns! Sixer-gun Charles is a-comin’ to town. Run for your lives.

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. The Suns now have Sir Charles, K.J. (Kevin Johnson), Thunder Dan (Majerle) and Tom (I Gotta Get Me a Nickname) Chambers. They also have a very loud arena and soon will have a very loud new arena. That “1992-93 NBA Champions” banner should make a nice crowning touch. Talk about home improvement.

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. It won’t be the Portland Trail Blazers, who have sent a telegram to Chicago Stadium that reads: “We are not a dum teem.” It won’t be the San Antonio Spurs, because by season’s end Jerry Tarkanian will have them on NBA probation. And it won’t be the Houston Rockets, unless they trade Hakeem Olajuwon for somebody like, oh, the No. 2 pick in next week’s draft, Alonzo Mourning (whose first act upon arriving in Houston will be to change his name to Halonzo).

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. The Suns are smart. They knew they were good, but they also knew there was something missing. They needed one more jump to get over the hump. And even though it cost them Jeff Hornacek, Andrew Lang and Tim Perry, goodfellas all, they picked up “one of the greatest players in the world,” as Sun head honcho Jerry Colangelo said, without giving up Kevin Johnson, who is, well, one of the greatest players in the world.

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. There is talk that Colangelo is not done horse-tradin’, that he might swap K.J. to the Sacramento Kings for a larger guard, Mitch Richmond. Memo to Jerry: In his lordship’s recent autobiography, Sir Charles Barkley writes: “There’s not a point guard in the league who can keep up with Kevin. More than anybody in the league, he’s an assassin.” We wouldn’t want to disappoint Chuck now, would we?

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. With Charles in charge, Coach Paul Westphal will have the runningest, gunningest posse in the Western Conference, which in turn can brag of having Barkley, K.J., Olajuwon, Clyde Drexler, David Robinson, Karl Malone, John Stockton, Danny Manning and Chris Mullin, while the Eastern Conference can brag of having . . . of having . . . uh, da Bulls.

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. This trade works out for everybody involved. Philadelphia gets three good players, which brings the team’s total to three. Phoenix gets to fortify a roster that wasn’t likely to get much fortification from a low pick in the draft. Yes, weepy Arizonans do have to say adios to Hornacek, who along with K.J. formed professional basketball’s cutest backcourt. But now they get Barkley’s lightning to accompany Majerle’s thunder.

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. The trade particularly works out well for Barkley, who no longer has to wear the NBA’s ugliest uniforms. Charles has style. Charles has class (when he ain’t punchin’ or spittin’ on folks). Charles will go directly from the Olympics, with time off for good behavior after accidentally expectorating on Juan Antonio Samaranch, to his new NBA address, where his first assignment will be to take that Gorilla mascot of Phoenix’s and throw him through the backboard.

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. Mark these words well. The Suns could have more All-Stars than the two Los Angeles clubs combined. And do Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen make a better 1-2 punch than Kevin Johnson and Charles Barkley? We shall see. Naturally the rest depends on their supporting casts, but my money says that come the 1993 NBA finals, the Suns will be the ones in Chicago dancing to the new dance craze, the “Uncle Charlie.”

Phoenix is the next NBA champion. I know, I have never said this before. But remember one thing, Sun worshipers. I have never been wrong.