At Least His Wife Didn’t Have to Wait Two Weeks for Flowers

It was Tony Gwynn’s anniversary Sunday. Or not.

Gwynn was really looking forward to the celebration of his 10th anniversary as a major leaguer, but because service time is based on days in the majors and not marked from the time you first played in the majors, he actually had marked his anniversary two weeks before.

How do you think Gwynn felt?

“Pretty stupid,” said Gwynn, who found the truth in a call to the players’ union.

Trivia time: Whom did Juan Antonio Samaranch succeed as president of the International Olympic Committee?

What bad back? Larry Bird’s contract with the Boston Celtics pays him $3.75 million in 1992-93 even if he doesn’t play a game. But if he plays 60 games, he guarantees himself $4.25 million for the next year. And even if he plays only 40 games, Bird still qualifies for half of the $4.25 million 1993-94 salary.

Now it can be told: Here is how 24-year-old superstitious left-hander Kyle Abbott broke through after starting the season 0-11 with the Phillies: He grew a beard, he saw his old college coach before pitching and caught a half-dollar tossed from the stands as he warmed up.

Oh, yeah. He also got to face the Dodgers, who submitted to the Abbott steamroller, 14-3, Saturday night.

Dodger tales: From Ira Berkow of the New York Times: “The Dodgers have become a charitable organization, a kind of do-gooder group, like a Welcome Wagon on 50 legs. When other teams see them showing up on their doorstep, they find it hard to suppress their glee.”

No question: From Inside Sports’ NFL preseason preview by Gary Myers:

Q: “Should the Raiders have traded for Phil Simms?”

A: “Yes.”

Philadelphia story: Steve Riddick, who anchored the U.S. 400-meter relay team to victory at the 1976 Olympics, won a court decision (a golden rule?) last week in Philadelphia that means he can get back a gold medal that had been locked in his former girlfriend’s safe-deposit box.

Round and round: Got room for a new Olympic event? Consider the specialty of John January, who downed a dozen doughnuts to win Southern Illinois’ Tour de Donut, a 30-mile event in which cyclists subtract five minutes from their overall time for every doughnut consumed during two 10-minute breaks.

Said January: “I think I found my event. I’m a mediocre runner, a mediocre biker and a lousy swimmer, but I’m great at eating doughnuts.”

Relishing his role: A man in the crowd at an Oakland Athletics’ exhibition game once wore a T-shirt that read, “Rickey Henderson is Living Proof That the Cost of Hot Dogs Rises Every Year,” Henderson writes in his new autobiography, “Off Base.”

Adds Henderson: “Yes, I am a hotdog. Look up all the baseball players who were ever called hotdogs. Every last one of those guys could play. You’re not called a hotdog unless you can play. Unless you have style. Ever hear of a hotdog who couldn’t play?”

If it was a fight, they’d start it: The Ohio Boxing Commission refused to grant a permit to a Columbus promoter who planned a fight card that included a 36-year-old boxer with a 12-80 record and a 42-year-old who had never fought before.

“I’m very sympathetic to guys getting paydays,” Commissioner Martin Plax said. “But I’m not sympathetic to guys who have been knocked out 44 times.”

Speed limit 55? Nolan Ryan took part in a groundbreaking ceremony last week for Nolan Ryan Expressway, which will pass a new $165-million ballpark for the Texas Rangers in Arlington.

Bjorn again: Why is Bjorn Borg still playing? Maybe he needs the money. Borg is being sued in a New Jersey Superior Court because he allegedly owes $22,000 in attorney’s fees racked up during a lawsuit over the sale of an interest in Bjorn Borg Design Group USA Inc. Borg played an exhibition Monday in Mahwah, N.J.

Trivia answer: Lord Michael Killanin of Ireland.

Quotebook: From Pat Buttram on KMPC-AM: “Waiting for the Dodgers and Angels to get into the pennant race is like leaving the porch light on for Amelia Earhart to return.”