Good Sports, Bad Gimmicks : RANKING THE ANCHORS WHO TELL L.A. THE SCORE

For a while it seemed as though one television sportscast in Los Angeles after another was becoming infected with the Wacky Weatherguy syndrome.

Remember KABC loudmouth Ted Dawson, paying off on a bet about the USC basketball team by jumping fully clothed into a swimming pool near campus?

Or KCOP’s vampire-voiced Vic (the Brick) Jacobs, showing displeasure by tossing plastic-foam chunks of mortar at the screen?

Or KCAL’s smirking, schoolboyish Joe Fowler, gesticulating wildly at the camera?

Or KABC’s Todd Donaho, with his amateurish “Take a Hike” segment?

All gone, thank goodness.

Wait--you say, Donaho’s still employed at KABC? Excuse our wishful thinking.

While fewer clownish figures are handling TV sportscasts locally, the talent has also become more diluted with the departure of literate, sharp-tongued Keith Olbermann. He was foolishly cut loose by KCBS and quickly signed by ESPN. And then there was the refusal of skilled sports reporter Jim Lampley to return to his specialty for KCBS after he was fired as the station’s 11 p.m. anchor-husband (wife Bree Walker stayed behind).

So who’s left?

KNBC’s Fred Roggin, on the disabled list earlier this year with a chemical dependency problem, has rebounded to establish himself as the top local sportscaster.

Humor is the forte of Roggin, who realizes that he is, after all, only covering games that children play. He’s the best at making use of videotape, such as his July 4 fireworks tribute, a compilation of the “explosions” of such temperamental types as John McEnroe.

Aside from offering the top sportscaster, KNBC has the best bench in the league, with witty Bret Lewis as Roggin’s backup. Lewis is more skilled than most of the first-stringers at the other stations. A while back, when Roggin and Lewis were both unavailable, KNBC went even deeper into its roster of reserves and used a duo named Jess Marlow and Kelly Lange to give the scores. Whatever happened to them?

It’s ironic that two of the more capable sportscasters in town, KTTV’s Rick Garcia and KCOP’s Tony Hernandez, receive so little exposure because of the minimal air time provided by their stations.

Garcia has a cocky, irreverent style and a knowledge of sports that deserve a larger forum. Even his wisecracks during the obligatory “happy talk” segment with KTTV’s anchors are interesting.

Hernandez, picked up on waivers from KCBS two years ago, possesses a smooth, confident delivery and a sense of humor.

We’re willing to excuse one cornball promotional stunt-disguised-as-news that was staged by KCOP: Hernandez’ “exclusive” interview with Elgin Baylor at halftime of a Clippers telecast at which Baylor revealed that the team’s new coach would be Larry Brown. What a coincidence that the Clippers allowed the station to break the news first--KCOP broadcasts the Clippers games!

So refreshingly unpredictable was Olbermann on Channel 2 that we could overlook his Pat Riley hairdo and the strange assortment of sweaters he wore on his Sunday sports wrap-ups.

His successor, Jim Hill, doesn’t measure up, even if he does dress better. Hill, obtained from KABC as a second choice after Lampley refused the job, is an ex-NFL defensive back. And his problem is that he too often tries to come across as a buddy of the sports figure he is interviewing. Rarely do you hear critical comments or tough questions from him.

The other day Hill interviewed Lou Duva, the trainer of Evander Holyfield, the heavyweight champ. Holyfield had just stumbled to an unimpressive victory over roly-poly Larry Holmes, the 42-year-old ex-champ. Referring to the criticism of Duva’s fighter, Hill spoke as though the light-hitting Holyfield belonged in the same category as Muhammad Ali, commenting that “he’s winning and doing what he has to do.”

On another occasion, when ex-USC running back Ricky Ervins mentioned that the atmosphere between some players and coaches at the school was “bad,” Hill changed the subject and kidded Ervins about his new Super Bowl ring. This, though USC’s record has sagged in recent years and Ervins was virtually ostracized by Trojan coach Larry Smith during his senior year.

Over at KTLA, it’s hard to believe that the station’s lead sportscaster started out in the television business as Skipper Stu, a Sacramento cartoon host who piloted his boat, the Channel Tender, with his faithful octopus helper, OU Squid.

Skipper Stu was so playful. Sportscaster Stu is more grim-faced and occasionally seems to be in a bit of a hurry to get home.

But Stu Nahan knows sports; he’s a former minor-league hockey player. And there’s something to be said for a no-nonsense sportsreader who eschews the forced smile that is now obligatory for virtually every on-camera person and also does his best to avoid “happy talk” with the anchors.

Nahan’s back-up is another veteran, Ed Arnold, who comes across as an energetic, hard-working newsman, if somewhat lacking in charisma.

KCAL has eliminated most of the chaos that marked the first few months of its three-hour newscast. There was the night the sportscast shifted to Anaheim Stadium after an Angel game only to have the camera show nothing but the eerie darkness of the outfield. (An interesting concept, though: a sportscast directed by Ingmar Bergman! And so appropriate for the depressing Angels!)

Another change has been the replacement of overactive Joe Fowler, who fell down the rabbit hole one day and hasn’t been heard from since.

Difficult as it is to believe, Tom Murray, his successor, isn’t much of an improvement. With his golden locks and blue eyes, Murray is prone to mugging, his main rhetorical weapons appearing to be his raised eyebrows and sleepy grin.

His co-sportsguy, Cruz, has an unfortunate habit of overstatement. During an in-studio interview, Cruz once told Shane Foley, a second-string USC quarterback used mainly on special assignment teams, that Foley was one of the “best” placekick-holders in the nation. (Foley quickly responded that he considered himself a quarterback.)

More recently, Cruz prefaced his introduction of the major league All-Star selections by saying that just because no Dodgers or Angels were starting, “that doesn’t mean the game will be without superstars.” Really?

Which brings us to the bottom of the rankings and Donaho. Or is that really Donaho? Sometimes we suspect that the expressionless fellow with the pseudo-dramatic intonation is actually Chevy Chase performing a skit on “Saturday Night Live.”

Donaho persists in beginning his sportscast on KABC’s 11 p.m. news with a trivia question, whatever the news of that particular day. This custom seemed especially inappropriate on the night that former Angels relief pitcher Donnie Moore committed suicide.

Then there’s Donaho’s “Take a Hike” segment, where he gives someone who has annoyed him “the thumb” in the manner of a baseball umpire. Donaho, who apparently runs short of targets some nights, recently gave the “Take a Hike” order to ... drum roll ... “the people who are against realignment” of the National League divisions. Tens of thousands must have felt ashamed.

Even standard-fare items, such as his “This Day in Sports History,” have a loony quality. One night, the subject was the anniversary of a 565-foot home run by Mickey Mantle--considered one of the longest in history. Afterward, Donaho said offhandedly of the film of Mantle that accompanied the segment: “That wasn’t the same home run. ... That was a little shorter. But it looked something like that.”

KABC has the wrong man on the bench. Donaho’s sub is Rick Lozano, who does a good job on the half-hour Sunday night roundup, despite having to engage in still another annoying KABC gimmick: the “Fan Fone.” Yes, what a pleasure it is for Channel 7 viewers to stare at the Channel 7 sportscaster, who is staring back at them as he takes incoming calls from fans.

It’s interesting to note that, for all the strained efforts of KABC and the other L.A. stations to give their evening sportscasts a different look, each has ignored one obvious possibility: Giving an on-camera job to a woman.

There must be someone besides Kelly Lange.

CORNIEST GIMMICKS

1. “Take a Hike” segment of Todd Donaho on KABC.

2. “Fan Fone” on Sunday night sportscasts, KABC.

3. “Sports Wire,” in which brief, boring items, such as a recent off-season injury to San Antonio Spurs player Terry Cummings, are printed on the screen, KCAL.

4. The “Fred’ll show it to you” graphic for the Roggin show, KNBC.

5. The habit of Jim Hill (KCBS) and Gary Cruz (KCAL) of addressing viewers as “my friends.”