Redskins Are Not a Sure Thing

P icking up where the last NFL season left off, now that Thurman Thomas has located his helmet . . .

Why The Redskins Can Repeat: Ricky Ervins is no longer a rookie. Desmond Howard gives Mark Rypien yet another long-distance target. Rypien said no to the Toronto Argonauts. Art Monk goes for Steve Largent’s pass-reception record of 819 and then on to 900. Danny Sheridan has picked Buffalo to return to the Super Bowl.

And Why They Won’t: The Redskins must win the NFC playoffs before they win the Super Bowl, and if the Dallas Cowboys don’t knock them off in January, the San Francisco 49ers will. Dallas is this year’s trendy pick--”Team O’ The 90s” and all that--but San Francisco has the NFL’s longest current winning streak (6), plus a vastly improved running game (Amp Lee joins Ricky Watters) and secondary (Dana Hill moves in at free safety). And it makes no difference who quarterbacks them. Jerry Rice has signed.

The Value of Preseason: Minnesota went 4-0 in August, outscoring its opposition, 140-6. USA Today predicts the Vikings will finish last in the NFC Central, and Las Vegas lists the Vikings Super Bowl odds at 500-1--behind the Raiders (20-1), Kansas City (50-1), Atlanta (90-1) and Cleveland (250-1).

Get Me A Big-Name Coach, the Bengals’ Owner Cried: And so the Bengals did. The name is Shula. Not Don, but the apple that fell closest to the tree--33-year-old David, who has to say “Sir” to Anthony Munoz and Jim Breech if he was raised to respect his elders. The son also rises? Not in Houston’s division, not with Cincinnati’s defense. Bumper sticker coming soon to Cincinnati: “Our Coach Might Not Be Ready, but Neither Is the Team.”

The Herschel Factor: The Philadelphia Eagles haven’t won a playoff game since the days of Dick Vermeil and now Herschel Walker is going to put them in the Super Bowl? How about it, Eagles? “He doesn’t interest me. What do we need him for?” asks Philadelphia free safety Wes Hopkins. Strong safety Andre Waters had the answer: “We don’t need Herschel Walker.” Troy Stradford received a bigger reception from the Rams.

He’s No Joe Namath, but Then Again, He’s No Ken O’Brien: Browning Nagle, strong-armed and strapping, is the new starting quarterback for the New York Jets. Coach Bruce Coslet says, “We have been talking about this as a staff and management decision for the last six months,” but really, what took them so long?

Ye Olde Rams Club: They couldn’t start in Anaheim, but Mark Herrmann and Hugh Millen open the season as the first-string quarterbacks for Indianapolis and New England. Is this a) a statement on the abilities of Jim Everett; b) a statement on the fragility of the quarterback position in the NFL; or c) a good reason why the playoff race in the AFC East will be among Buffalo, New York and Miami?

For A Free Copy (CD or Cassette) of “Chuck Noll Sings His Favorite Heavy Metal Hits,” What Do Neil O’Donnell, Merril Hoge, Barry Foster and Jeff Graham Have In Common? These are the best names new Steeler Coach Bill Cowher could produce when asked to fill the positions once held by Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, Rocky Bleier and Lynn Swann.

Best Quarterback Controversy: San Francisco’s. Steve Young led the NFL passing in ‘91, but won only five of 10 starts. Steve Bono went 5-1 in relief of Young and is beloved by his teammates because he isn’t left-handed, isn’t prone to wild ad-libbed scrambles and--his best quality--isn’t Steve Young. Meanwhile, The Master, Joe Montana, is on injured reserve, is miffed about it and is willing to snipe about it--or George Seifert’s decision to start Young--to anyone carrying a note pad. This is going to be fun, fun, fun.

Worst Quarterback Controversy: The Raiders’. In “A Brief History of Time,” physicist Stephen Hawking admits he was wrong when he theorized that the universe will end by rewinding itself back to its beginning, thus proving that geniuses do make mistakes. Et tu , Al Davis? You haven’t seen a black hole until you’ve seen Jay Schroeder quarterback the Raiders.

St. Bono, Hold the Halo: In all probability, the next Montana hasn’t been born yet. Still, 49er fans and players are convinced they have found him, in spite of the evidence: Steve Bono is 30, a career backup and has been cut twice by both the Vikings and the Steelers, who decided they’d rather be quarterbacked by Rich Gannon and Sean Salisbury, and Neil O’Donnell and Bubby Brister.

In Case You Missed It: Bobby Beathard, one more self-proclaimed genius, is pictured in the latest issue of The Sporting News wearing an Albert Einstein T-shirt with the inscription “E=mc 2.” Nowhere on the shirt were the numbers 6-10 and 4-12--the regular-season records for the San Diego Chargers since Beathard was hired as their general manager.

Rout of the Year: Turn on Channel 2 this morning, 10 o’clock. Paul Olden and Hank Stram will be doing the broadcasting. Chuck Knox will be doing the head-shaking.

Best Outfield: Atlanta Falcons, who used to start Deion Sanders and Brian Jordan in their defensive backfield. Now Jordan catches fly balls full time for the St. Louis Cardinals while Sanders has gone the Bo Jackson route, splitting time between the Braves in the summer and the Falcons in the fall. One difference: Bo never played in the World Series. By the time Sanders does, the Falcons will be breaking in their best cornerback in November.

Most Nervous Fantasy League Owner: He, or she, who owns Randall Cunningham. So many touchdowns hinge on so tenuous a hinge.

Where Have You Gone, Gene Hickerson? Bernie Kosar, 28, going on disability, has been sacked 78 times in the last two seasons--and the Browns didn’t draft an offensive lineman until the 12th round. Never mind the Super Bowl; Kosar just wants to make it to 30.

Most Likely to Play in Pasadena: San Francisco and Houston. The 49ers know the way, for sure, and the Oilers have the motivation, listening every day to the ticking clock of soon-to-be-36 Warren Moon.

Headline to expect on the morning of Monday, Feb. 1, 1993: “Moon Over Montana.”