Baseball Is Taking Its Schott’s

U nconventional wisdom for a Wednesday morning . . .

Marge Schott: To be rich, powerful, influential and stupid--does a more dangerous combination exist? Since no one’s in charge of baseball anymore, no one knows how to deal with this mess, so the committee formed another committee Tuesday “to further investigate” before, presumably, another committee is formed to determine what penalty shall be handed down. If the allegations are accurate, the owners have only two options--suspend Schott indefinitely or ban her altogether. Obviously, it requires no great intellect to operate the Cincinnati Reds. A trained monkey could do it.

Al Campanis: He is the convenient reference point, but, really, the comparison is flimsy. Campanis’ crime, an incoherent rambling about “buoyancy” and “necessities” and other archaic absurdities, looks trivial when thrust against the pure hatred reeking from Schott’s alleged words. And what about the non-alleged words, excerpted from the New York Times interview? “Hitler was good in the beginning, but went too far.” If baseball can tolerate this type of thinking in its upper levels of management, it deserves everything it is currently getting.

Fay Vincent: Now you know why baseball needs commissioners. Vincent may have walked with a cane, but in matters as serious as this, he never dragged his feet.

Bud Selig: So far, he has been a regular man of action.

Kevin Mitchell: Should Schott stay or should she go? Wonder how the Reds’ new left fielder would vote.

The Rams: The tease is over and the reality of 4-8 has set in, but you won’t hear anybody inside the Ram front office crying about it. No one will go on the record, but this is the organizational spin at the moment: 4-8 is good, and better in the long term than, say, 7-5, because the Rams aren’t ready for serious contention and 4-8 puts them in position for the kind of draft they need to take the next step. In other words, the Rams are asking you to make a choice: Would you rather make a run at the Super Bowl by ’95 or suffer a wild-card blowout in Philadelphia in five weeks? Except, of course, you have no say in the matter.

Sean Gilbert, Steve Israel, Marc Boutte, Todd Kinchen, Chris Crooms, T.J. Rubley, Tim Lester: Give Chuck Knox the No. 3 position in the draft and this is what happens. This is also why he’d like to go back for seconds.

Middle linebacker, outside linebacker, defensive end, tailback, offensive tackle, wide receiver: The Rams are only a few players away.

John Teerlinck: He knows how to harass a quarterback. So why weren’t Ram defensive linemen doing it when he was coaching them in 1991?

Jim Everett: Just wondering: Did Knox ever pull John Hadl or James Harris in the third quarter for losing their composure?

San Diego Chargers: The bandwagon’s getting mighty crowded, but at 7-1 in their last eight games, no one in the AFC is playing better. Buffalo can’t beat Indianapolis. Denver can’t beat Seattle. Houston may not even get a wild card. The Chargers, meanwhile, are playing ferocious defense, pounding the ball inside with big running backs and getting efficient production from their quarterback. They have become an NFC team in AFC clothing.

Bobby Beathard: Finally, the Redskin influence is showing. Joe Gibbs went 0-5 in 1981, then finished 8-8, then won the Super Bowl in 1982. Bobby Ross went 0-4 in 1992, is 7-1 since and is headed for who-knows-where from here on out. The common link is Beathard. That, and having an old Redskin at starting quarterback.

Stan Humphries or John Friesz: Who’d have thought it--the Great Quarterback Controversy of 1993.

Mike McGee: His departure to the USC that doesn’t sing “Gripe On!” will be beneficial to his health, if not Larry Smith’s. McGee hired Smith, and buffered him from the wolves now baying in humiliation over finishing 6-4-1, losing to UCLA and having to play Fresno State in a bowl game. John Robinson has been mentioned as a replacement, but the question is: For whom?

Fresno State: The Bulldogs can provide a rapid reply with a victory in the Freedom Bowl. Let’s see: USC comes in after back-to-back downers against UCLA and Notre Dame, “stepping down” to play the WAC, tripping over its lack of enthusiasm. Fresno comes in after successive victories of 41-15, 45-41 and 43-18, approaching the Freedom Bowl as the biggest sporting event in the history of the school. Fresno, thy name is Tulsa.

John Robinson: The best line on his resume reads, “Beat Notre Dame in 1976, 1978, 1979, 1980, 1981 and 1982.”

Cal State Fullerton football: A new slogan, coming right up: “That Was Us.”

UC Irvine basketball: From Boston, the Flying Anteaters go next to Kansas City, where they figure to meet Kansas in the finals of the Golden Harvest Classic. Then, it’s on to Nevada Las Vegas (Dec. 18), back home against Georgetown (Dec. 30, Freedom Bowl Classic final), then to Tulane (Jan. 2) and Houston (Jan. 4). Nice frequent-flyer program. Rack up 10,000 miles, get a free ticket to six defeats.

The Lakers: They beat Chicago, they beat Portland, they could be real trouble in the NBA playoffs. Now, they just have to make them.

The Kings: No Gretzky, no pressure, no resistance to Barry Melrose’s youth movement, third-best record in the NHL. Four years later, The Trade is working out.

Eric Dickerson: What goes around comes around. Now Coach won’t let him run 47 Gap.