It Won’t Make Their Day

Even if, as many expect, Clint Eastwood cleans up for “Unforgiven” at tonight’s Oscar ceremony, odds are it won’t revive the Clint souvenir business that once flourished in Carmel.

One who should know is Paul Laub, who operated the “Clintville” souvenir shop in one of his stores when Eastwood reigned as mayor in the late 1980s.

Laub sold such items as sweat shirts featuring Eastwood’s “Dirty Harry” likeness that ordered people to curb their dogs. When Pope John Paul II visited Carmel in 1987, Laub sold a shirt that said “Thou hast made my day,” a takeoff on one of Eastwood’s best-known lines.

But the memorabilia disappeared in clearance sales when Eastwood left office in 1988, Laub says, and a big Oscar win isn’t likely to change things. “Tourists don’t even ask about him anymore,” he said.

Are They Registered Yet?

Last week marked one of the computer industry’s most eagerly anticipated disclosures: Bill Gates is engaged.

Given that Gates is worth about $7 billion, the Microsoft chairman’s marriage to company executive Melinda French will no doubt create America’s richest couple as soon as they are declared man and wife.

Now the question is: what to get them as a wedding gift?

There is no easy answer, as our nuptials experts found. A sample of opinions:

- Kelli Gonzalez, a San Diego area minister who performs about four weddings a week: “I wouldn’t get them a blender, dinnerware or a set of knives. I’d probably find an interesting sculpture or piece of art.”

- Gerard Monaghan, president of the Assn. of Bridal Consultants: “A toaster is probably out, and a money tree would probably not work. Maybe a trinket for the house--or houses, as the case may be here.”

- Mary Ann Calvin, managing editor of Modern Bride magazine: Arrange “48 Hours” with Dan Rather to document Gates’ final two days as a bachelor, or find a Waterford crystal computer.

Duck Sausage at 40,000 Feet?

In a recent letter to fliers, American Airlines Chief Executive Robert L. Crandall disclosed that the company regularly consults with a “chefs conclave,” including such prestigious California restaurateurs as Spago owner Wolfgang Puck and Alice Waters of Chez Panisse.

One of the results: “Where we once offered freshly cut fruit salads, for example, our fruit appetizers now consist of melon slices, which give our customers more fruit--and save lots of cutting and peeling in the kitchen,” Crandall says.

Briefly . . .

What about the millennium? Copies of Walt Disney’s “Pinocchio” videocassette include a sticker that says “Available for the Last Time This Century!” . . . He’s back: Apocalyptic author Ravi Batra, who predicted the “Great Depression of 1990,” has a new book due out in April called “The Myth of Free Trade.” . . . A new paperback business advice book is called “The Ultimate No. B.S., No Holds Barred, Kick Butt, Take No Prisoners, and Make Tons of Money Business Success Book.”