On the Bright Side, She Was More Diplomatic Than Bush

Gymnast Shannon Miller had stomach flu during the recent World Championships in Birmingham, England.

She still won three gold medals, but fell three times on the balance beam and didn’t attend the medal ceremony, resting instead.

Her coach, Steve Nunno, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “I just didn’t want her to go kiss somebody and throw up on them while receiving an award.”

*

Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for most free throws made in a playoff game?

*

Double trouble: Columnist Woody Paige of the Denver Post, lamenting that the Denver Broncos will have to regularly confront the Kansas City Chiefs’ new quarterback, Joe Montana.

“It was scary enough for the Broncos to be forced to play against Montana in one Super Bowl,” Paige writes. “He only completed 22 of 29 passes for four touchdowns during--in case you forgot--a 55-10 San Francisco victory.

“Now the Broncos have to defense Montana twice a year.”

*

Mood swing: From Mike Reid, a former Cincinnati Bengal defensive lineman and now a country music singer-composer:

“If I prepared for a concert the way I prepared for a football game, I would begin by throwing the piano out the window.”

*

Name game: From Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “Maybe (Atlanta Falcon draft pick) Lincoln Kennedy was named after the wrong presidents. William Howard Taft, the country’s heaviest chief executive at more than 300 pounds, would have been a more appropriate choice.”

*

Roll out the barrel: Kirby Puckett’s new book is titled, “I Love This Game!” Kent Hrbek, Puckett’s Minnesota teammate, says if he ever writes his autobiography, it will be called “I Hate the Game, But I Love Drinking the Beer.”

*

Fame at last: Said former St. Louis Cardinal pitcher Max Lanier, who now sells baseball memorabilia, including baseballs signed by Ted Williams and Stan Musial: “I get much more fan mail now than when I played.”

*

War zone: Umpire Bruce Froemming, after fans pelted players with free baseballs recently at Candlestick Park: “Giving away baseballs is a bad idea. Why not give them hand grenades?”

*

Great expectations: Before the NFL draft, Heisman Trophy winner Gino Torretta of Miami told the Orlando Sentinel: “I feel I’m the best quarterback out there, that I should be drafted first.”

Torretta had to settle for the seventh round--going to Minnesota.

*

Wow! According to Phil Rogers of the Dallas Morning News, Pittsburgh Pirate pitcher Dave Otto is one of eight players in major league history with a last name that is a palindrome--a word that reads the same backward, or forward.

*

Bleu cheese, please: A member of a Japanese film crew doing a feature on Charles Barkley said: “As far as commercials, Charles is in the same league in Japan as Paul Newman.”

Barkley quickly announced: “That’s my next move. I’m going to have my own salad dressing.”

*

Trivia answer: Bob Cousy of the Boston Celtics with 30 in a four-overtime game against Syracuse in 1953.

*

Quotebook: Recently fired Detroit Piston coach Ron Rothstein, asked if there had been too many distractions around his team this season: “Life is one big distraction.”