All They Were Saying Was Give Police a Chance

Filip Bondy of the New York Daily News reports that journalists covering the World Cup qualifying matches in Doha, Qatar, received a pamphlet bearing the mysterious title “Police With You.”

Wrote Bondy: “The Qataris are very serious about their hospitality.”

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Add Qatar: According to Bondy, the Qatari Ministry of the Interior offered this advice for watching the matches at Khalifa Stadium:

--Keep your sportive spirit high.

--Tea Thermoses are not allowed.

--Remember that parading and horning could lead to traffic congestion.

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Last add Qatar: And what did the security guard at the Doha airport want to know when Bondy arrived?

The prospects for a comeback by Michael Jordan.

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Trivia time: What NHL team’s season record stands as the greatest turnaround in league history?

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Hold those rings: Top 10 reasons why the Phoenix Suns will not win the NBA championship this season, as presented by the Portland Oregonian:

10. How old is Danny Ainge, anyway . . . 48 or 49?

9. Michael Jordan (if he unretires).

8. Joe Kleine . . . enough said.

7. A.C. Green . . . Yeah, now there’s a franchise player.

6. The Houston Rockets.

5. Richard Dumas will probably be spending more time with John Lucas than with Paul Westphal.

4. The Portland Trail Blazers.

3. Charles Barkley’s ego fills four roster spots.

2. The Seattle SuperSonics.

1. Kevin Johnson is already planning his hamstring pull for the important games.

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New duds were a dud: The Baylor Bears took the field against Texas A&M; two weeks ago dressed in matching green jerseys and green pants for the first time in school history, drawing mostly negative reviews from the fashion police in the press box.

According to Galyn Wilkins of the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, one observer was heard to say, “Look, giant cucumbers!”

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Why bother? The Central Methodist Eagles have finally played their homecoming game.

The Eagles of Fayette, Mo., were supposed to play host to William Jewel last Saturday, but the game was called off when the officiating crew failed to appear because of a communications breakdown.

So the teams reassembled Monday. The officials showed up. And 750 fans, most of them students, saw the Eagles lose, 35-10, their seventh loss in as many games this season.

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Add Eagles: Chuck McFall, Central Methodist sports information director: “We decided nothing else could go wrong, but something did. Then we lost anyway.”

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Trivia answer: The Quebec Nordiques’ 47-27-10 mark of last season. The Nordiques had finished 17-34-11 in 1991-92.

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Quotebook: Eric Dickerson, recalling his contract problems with the Rams: “When you want a Rolls Royce, you’ve got to pay for it. They got a Rolls. They just didn’t want to pay market value.”