He May Be an Excellent Hitter, but Traveling Is Not His Stick

Lenny Dykstra didn’t get the MVP award in the World Series, but Thomas Swick, travel editor of the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel says the Philadelphia Phillie center fielder deserves the MVT (Most Vacuous Tourist) award. Swick explains:

“In Paris to promote our national pastime, he ordered a $3,000 bottle of wine at La Tour d’Argent restaurant but refused to take off his hat. Then, flying to Amsterdam, he said, ‘Now, Paris is France. But London, that’s just London, right?”

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Trivia time: Which team has the lowest payroll in the NHL?

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How about Al Bundy? If Pat Summerall stays with NFL broadcasting by moving to Fox, some introductions will be in order.

“Somebody asked me the other day, ‘What exactly does Fox have?’ I said, ‘I don’t know,’ ” Summerall said. “They said, ‘Well, they’ve got Bart and Homer.’ I said, ‘Who the hell are they?’ ”

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Rumors flying: After Michael Jordan was seen taking batting practice at Comiskey Park, a Chicago sports radio station breathlessly reported that the retired Bull guard was contemplating a second career in baseball. Or perhaps a third career--after golf on the PGA Tour.

It turns out, though, that Jordan was there for treatment by White Sox trainers for a wrist injury and decided to take some swings to see how he felt.

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Different pace: Cox’s Sword, who avoided vehicular traffic on New York’s Hempstead Turnpike after bolting from Belmont Park two weeks ago, finished third Tuesday at Aqueduct in his first race since the escapade.

“I liked him better when he was racing on highways,” trainer Howie Tesher said.

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False figures: At first glance, the Chicago Bears’ Chris Gardocki appears to be one of the worst punters in the NFL with a 37.9-yard average that ranks 27th in the league.

Take another look. He has a league-low one touchback and has 24 punts inside the 20-yard line.

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Confidence builder: Minnesota Manager Tom Kelly is concerned that his starting rotation does not include a left-hander. When the Twins selected southpaw Keith Garagozzo in the Rule 5 draft from the New York Yankees’ minor league roster, Kelly was asked his reaction.

“He’s left-handed and he’s breathing.”

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Precocious pair: Two sophomore guards lead the Pacific 10 Conference in two statistical categories--California’s Jason Kidd with 9.2 assists and 3.3 steals, and USC’s Brandon Martin with 58.8% three-point shooting and 92.3% free-throw shooting.

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Kindly place: Want to stop a losing streak? Go to Minnesota. The Washington Bullets ended a 10-game losing streak with a 99-84 victory at Minnesota. Dallas’ first victory this season was at Minnesota. (The Mavericks also got their other victory at Minneapolis.) Two weeks ago, Detroit broke an eight-game losing streak at the Target Center, where the Timberwolves are 3-9.

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Trivia answer: The Mighty Ducks, with $7.8 million, according to figures compiled by Hockey News.

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Quotebook: Lacy J. Banks, NBA analyst for the Chicago Sun-Times: “The Bulls are a better team without Michael Jordan.”