Midnight Moves <i> Into </i> Baltimore Cost a Bit More

KMPC’s Mike Lamb was wondering how much it would cost for the Rams to move to Baltimore, so as part of an on-air bit he called the Mayflower World-Wide Moving office in Baltimore and a woman named Edna came on the line.

“What is it you want to move?” Edna asked.

“Some office equipment, some weights, actually quite a bit of stuff,” Lamb said. “You ever moved a sports team before?”

Edna: “Yeah, we moved the Colts. I mean our company did.”

Lamb, seeing he had a live one: “Well, now you can’t tell anybody, but we’re looking into moving the Rams to Baltimore and need to know how much it would cost.”

Edna: “Sure, just fax me an inventory. You can sign it with a phony name if you like. Sign it Joe Smith.”

Edna’s guestimate was $25,000.

It’s a radio conspiracy: Last week, KROQ radio morning hosts Kevin Ryder and Gene (Bean) Baxter sent Michael the Maintenance Man, a morning show regular, to the Bel-Air home of Ram owner Georgia Frontiere. He used his bullhorn to chant, “Georgia, sell the team,” until he was stopped by a security guard.

Trivia time: Who holds the NFL playoff record for most yards rushing in a game?

Same old stuff: After listening to television commentators on New Year’s Day, Phil Jackman of the Baltimore Sun had a few comments about the bowl coverage. Among them: “You have to like the thoroughness O. J. Simpson brings to his job as a sideline reporter. After reporting a guy had broken his arm, Juice informed us, ‘He will not return to the game.’

“The top Keith Jackson-ism of the day was ‘Stick a fork in that thing (the pigskin), it’s walking around,’ ” after three consecutive turnovers in the Rose Bowl game.”

Now it can be told: Florida State Coach Bobby Bowden finally won his first national championship. But a glorious finish might never have been if things had gone differently at the start.

Orlando Sentinel columnist Larry Guest writes: “When Bobby Bowden pondered leaving West Virginia in 1976 to start his spectacular run at Florida State, he held firm to his vow that he couldn’t consider the move for less than $40,000 salary. Then-prez Stanley Marshall held firm to FSU’s budgeted $37,000. Athletic director John Bridgers broke the impasse by scraping together funds to add a $3,000 expense account to the Bowden package, and FSU’s national title run was out of the gate.”

Now it can be told II: Dodger Manager Tom Lasorda is known for his motivational speeches, but he hopes his latest talk will soon be forgotten in Los Angeles. Lasorda is still lamenting the pep talk he gave the University of Wisconsin before it beat UCLA in the Rose Bowl. Feeling as though he betrayed his home team, Lasorda says:

“It was right before Christmas and I walked into the Doubletree Hotel in Pasadena to speak for a fund-raiser for Cal State L.A. and two guys were hollering at me from the cocktail lounge. It was (Wisconsin Coach) Barry Alvarez and (Athletic Director) Pat Richter, and they asked me if I would speak to their team. I said sure, but never heard anything. Then the day before I was leaving for Las Vegas for New Year’s, I was in the Dodger office and the Wisconsin SID called to arrange the speech. I said I couldn’t do it because I was leaving town. But he said, ‘Why not right now?’ So I jumped into the car and drove to Pasadena and started giving them a pep talk, and well, there were a lot of reporters there. . . .”

Lasorda says his record when he gives such talks is 19-2.

We move to basketball: Who better than Utah’s Karl Malone to offer these thoughts on reincarnation and survival of the fittest: “I’d see myself coming back as a bald eagle if I came back as an animal--something that’s not confined. When I’m playing basketball I’m like that.

“Only the strong survive. If you’re weak in the jungle, somebody’s going to eat you. When you’re weak on the basketball court, everybody knows that and everybody takes their shots.”

You name it: On a recent Clippers-Dallas Mavericks radio broadcast, play-by-play announcer Ralph Lawler was in a quandary. Finally he stopped the broadcast and said: “If you’re a little confused right now, we certainly understand. Both teams have a backcourt of Harper and Jackson.” The Clippers were playing Mark Jackson and Ron Harper, while the Mavericks had Derek Harper and Jimmy Jackson on the floor. Derek Harper was traded Thursday to the New York Knicks.

Trivia answer: Eric Dickerson of the Rams, with 248 yards against Dallas in 1985.

Quotebook: Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post, on Buddy Ryan of the Houston Oilers: “Yes, you can be a great coach and a complete fool. The two are not mutually exclusive, as anybody who has ever watched Bobby Knight can attest.”