THE REAL STORY: We like to pride...

THE REAL STORY: We like to pride ourselves on responsible journalism, but we goofed. We failed to give the readers all the facts about the Jan. 17 quake. . . . So, permit us to steal the story from that bastion of truth--the Weekly World News, a tabloid based in Florida. Its headline: “L.A. Quake Opens Gates of Hell! . . . Demons escape from crack in California freeway!” We promise to get it right next time.

SAFE BASEBALL: Women found a new pioneer this week--Ila Borders, a freshman at Southern California College in Costa Mesa, who became the first woman to pitch in a college baseball game. And she won! . . . But before her gender gets too excited, Janet Sherman, CSUN’s assistant softball coach, cautioned: “I don’t know of a woman who can block the plate against a guy. They’ll get killed.”

HELPING OUT: Isaac Sanchez, above, lived in Guadalajara, Mexico, when the town was hit by a devastating quake more than 20 years ago. So with other students at San Pedro-Narbonne Community Adult School, Sanchez donated supplies, including canned vegetables and stuffed animals, to quake victims at Granada Hills’ Kennedy High School. (B3)

HOLD THE SALAMI: Vice presidents don’t get any breaks. Bill Clinton stuffs his stomach at every photo op, but Al Gore, who toured quake damage in the Valley on Wednesday (B1), doesn’t always get the same benefits. . . . Gore was offered a sandwich by Giovanni Roberto, owner of San Carlo Italian Import in Chatsworth. But, later, Gore’s aides carted away the 50 sandwiches made by the deli. Roberto may never know if the veep got a bite.

REBOUNDING: Monroe High’s Dimara Haymond, 18, plays tough under the basket, acting as if rebounds should be her exclusive property. . . . But that’s nothing compared to how she has rebounded from adversities off the court. Her father is in prison. Her mom is paralyzed. (C10)