THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : Violence? They’re Lucky Calvin Murphy Is Retired

There’s no more overrated issue than violence in pro basketball. If you believe your eyes, ears and TV, the game is beset by hooligans and none of us is safe anywhere.

Actually, it has never been more peaceful.

The game is certainly too physical, but there have never been fewer fights, and the ones they have are laughable. The definition of fight has been stretched beyond recognition. In the ‘70s, fights often included real punches. Calvin Murphy, the game’s smallest player, indulged in several memorable punch-outs of men a foot taller--such as the Atlanta Hawks’ John Brown and the Boston Celtics’ Sidney Wicks.

Then there was that other classic matchup, Maurice Lucas vs. the league.

Lucas’ Portland teammate, Bill Walton, once asked him why he was so unpopular on the road.

Says Walton: “Luke told me, ‘Bill, I have punched out the star player in every city I’ve ever played in.’ ”

In the age that time forgot, the loser of a fight got a mouse under one eye and a $500 fine.

Now a fight consists of an insult, a push and a wild windmill punch that misses or glances off the side of the target’s head. This is followed by a mammoth fine, suspension or both, depending on how red David Stern’s face got and whether the New York Times took an editorial stand.

For that little poke he took at Kevin Johnson last spring, the Knicks’ Greg Anthony lost $86,000 in fines and wages. Anthony’s jab set off a melee, but the only damage was suffered by Pat Riley, whose pocket was torn out of one of his free Armani suits. Johnson was unmarked. If that was a fight, Murphy was Mike Tyson, Rocky Marciano and Joe Louis wrapped up in one and Lucas was Godzilla.

What we lack in fights these days, we make up for in hype.

With sports-talk radio, all-sports cable networks and sports-talk TV, there’s a dizzying amount of discussion, replay and commentary.

In short, the electronic news hole is a mile wide and thirsting for issues. What was once minor is now a huge story.

So after last week’s Atlanta-Miami melee and the latest Dennis Rodman escapade, we get an ESPN piece informing us that the once-tame NBA is now as violent as the once-laughable NHL.

Got that?

The boys who popularized such colorful phrases as goon , run him into the boards , mucking in the corners and my favorite, butt-ending, who have everything but an instruction manual for fighting--drop your stick, pull opponent’s sweater up to pin his arms, box his ears until you are arm-weary--are now held up as models of decorum, if only by the cable network that has a contract to televise their games.

Comparisons are nonsensical. If the NBA is fair game on this issue--and it is--it’s because Stern has vowed to quell all violence.

Two days after ESPN presented its first peace prize, the New Jersey Devils and Boston Bruins went at it and the Boston coach had to be restrained from jumping over his bench to join in.

BUT WHAT CAN THEY DO ABOUT IT?

Forget the fights, the first thing basketball has to clean is the pushing, shoving and hacking that have become part of the game.

--Eliminate the hard foul.

It’s hard to understand why so much attention continues to be focused on taunting and so little on hard fouls.

Perhaps it’s because taunting isn’t in any coach’s game plan, but most of them, in their little warrior hearts, like to see their players laying out opponents.

The first rule of the playoffs was, is and unless legislated out will always be, “No layups!”

Calling flagrant fouls was only a first step. The league should expand the rule to punish any intentional foul the same way--two free throws and the ball.

What place do intentional fouls have in a game supposedly embodying grace and fluidity? Does someone think fans like seeing players hogtied under the hoop or grabbed in the open floor?

--Move the three-point line in.

Pete Newell suggests from the present 22 feet 9 to 22-3 or 22-0. Larry Brown suggests the international distance, 21-6.

That will bring the defenses out of the lane and cut down on the contact.

This slow-down, bumper-pool Eastern basketball is a joke. One night, Charles Barkley made 23 field goals, or two more than the entire Net team had in one of its games against the Knicks.

THANKS FOR COMING, OH MIGHTY ONE

The interesting question about Quinn Buckner, recently fired as coach of the Dallas Mavericks, is:

Where did the arrogance come from?

Did tossing soft questions to Michael Jordan for NBC with a camera man, a sound man, and a producer ready to fetch a Perrier persuade him he was a superstar, too?

Buckner, once considered a down-to-earth, hard-working, nice guy, showed up in Dallas and alienated everyone: veterans such as Derek Harper, whom he didn’t need; young stars such as Jamal Mashburn and Jimmy Jackson, whom he certainly did need; the front office,

reporters.

Finally, it was too much for even owner Donald Carter, who is the long-suffering, loyal type and has the record to prove it. He fired Buckner last week and the franchise sighed aloud.

Said Terry Davis: “We can move on now, man. I guess I’m off parole.”

Said Tim Legler, an unknown whose hustle made him a Buckner favorite: “He did so many things early on, I think it stripped his credibility. When he came in, acting like he knew everything with no experience, that was not the way to go.”

Proving he was, indeed, in his own world, Buckner said he would absolutely like to coach another NBA team, although the only imaginable way would be for him to buy one.

“One of the absolute pluses is I feel I can coach effectively in this league,” Buckner said. “I was confident of that when I came into the league. I’m even more certain of it now.”

SO THESE ARE THE PLAYOFFS!

Who are the hot teams?

The Phoenix Suns, seeded third in the West, and the Indiana Pacers, No. 5 in the East.

The Suns’ sweep of the Golden State Warriors was the perfect tuneup. Barkley awoke, averaging 38 points a game. More important, Johnson averaged 30. Dan Majerle averaged 20 and shot 42% on his three-pointers.

Brown’s Pacers are 34-12 since Jan. 29, the best record in the East. Although they are longshots, they are big, young, deep and hungry. Reserve power forward Antonio Davis is well known to general managers who have been calling all season to trade for him.

What about the No. 1 seeds?

Before this season, only one No. 1 had to go five games in 20 first-round series. This spring, both did.

Looks like we don’t have to listen to the Seattle SuperSonics complain about not getting their due anymore, does it? They become the first top-seeded team to lose in the first round since the system went in 11 years ago.

The real Hawks finally showed up. Mookie Blaylock shot 22% the first three games. Danny Manning was loath to take over, Stacey Augmon isn’t a jump shooter and Jon Koncak has all he can do to make a layup.

“It’s tough to see the basket when you’re double- and triple-teamed,” Kevin Willis said after failing to make a shot in the Game 3 loss at Miami. “I can play through it as long as my teammates step up.”

And the No. 2 seeds?

The Houston Rockets’ Vernon Maxwell proved he was in playoff form by ignoring Hakeem Olajuwon in the post and forcing up a three-pointer in the final seconds of their Game 3 loss at Portland--when they needed only two to tie.

Maxwell said later he didn’t know the score.

Riley insisted all along there would be no John Starks watch, and when Starks returned, six weeks after arthroscopic knee surgery, you could see why. Starks is still a gamer, but a one-legged gamer. On drives, he looks like Chester from “Gunsmoke.” Charles Smith is still doing his New York tango (17 points in Game 1, four shots in Game 2) so the Knicks have to hold teams to 85 points to win. If Riley wins a championship with this band, they ought to bronze him and put him on a pedestal outside the Basketball Hall of Fame.

What were the playoffs like, Grandpa Shaq?

How would he know?

The Orlando Magic lasted only three games, and Shaquille O’Neal averaged barely 20 points.

The Pacers grabbed him whenever he got near the basket. In one game, he took eight shots from the field, 18 from the free throw line. He missed nine of the latter and the Magic lost by two.

Was Nike trying to inspire its star client, Barkley?

How else does one account for the timing of that ad, released for the playoffs, showing Chris Webber dunking over him, then joking that Barkley had told him: “I don’t

believe in role models--but you’re mine.”

Barkley proceeded to outscore Webber, 112-57. What a surprise.

Rodman, who must have been wondering what to do for an encore, took up with Madonna, another cartoon character, but one from a different strip.

Rodman missed a practice, then returned to San Antonio to take out Utah’s Tom Chambers and John Stockton in Game 2 and was suspended for Game 3, a 33-point loss.

Adopting a strange defense at this late date, Rodman said everyone does this stuff.

“I’d like to stress one thing,”

he said. “When have you ever seen me in seven years that I’ve been

in this league throw one punch? Not one.

“Is there a rule book that says what I do is wrong? What I do is what every NBA player does.”

Only in their dreams.