His Chances in Heisman Race Diagnosed as Hyper-Extended

Steve McNair of Alcorn State didn’t win the Heisman Trophy, but the school received another honor, if you can call it that.

Derick Hackett, the Alcorn State sports information director, won the hardly coveted 1994 Hypseman Award.

The mythical trophy is given annually to the publicist who “personifies the hyperbolic nature of the Heisman Trophy award by undertaking the best unsuccessful campaign.”

The award is fittingly sponsored by a group called the Dead SIDS Society.

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Trivia time: Most fans know that Tom Dempsey of New Orleans holds the NFL record for the longest field goal at 63 yards. Who kicked the second-longest?

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Frightening: Defensive end Ray Seals of the Pittsburgh Steelers, when asked about a nickname for the team’s defense:

“I think of us as Zulu warriors. When I was a kid, I saw a great movie about the Zulu warriors and how they swarmed over the fields of Africa.

“That’s what I think of with this defense, because it swarms all over the field.”

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Clip and save: Roger Clemens, Boston Red Sox pitcher, on new teammate Jose Canseco: “Jose was always a tough out for me, but I enjoyed facing him. He always said if he played in Fenway Park, he’d hit 50-60 home runs. We’ll see.”

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Come again? Adam Schefter in Pro Football Weekly: “Not long ago, Colorado wanted (Denver Bronco Coach) Wade Phillips to go away. Then he goes from lame to fame to maybe being considered the NFL coach of the year.”

That’s a pretty big maybe considering the Broncos have a 7-7 record and play the San Francisco 49ers today.

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Lower classmen: Lou Holtz, Notre Dame football coach, on graduating 234th out of a high school class of 278:

“That didn’t bother me, but it did upset me when the principal said it was a rather stupid class overall.”

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Countdown: Gene Collier in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “Pitt will make it through this season with Andre Alridge at point guard, and it is only a promising aspect of the big picture that the more Alridge plays, the longer his shorts appear to get.

“I’m targeting Jan. 14 as the historic occasion when Alridge becomes the first Pitt player who, attempting to dribble between his legs, has the ball stolen by his pants.”

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Who’s keeping score? Sparky Anderson, Detroit Tiger manager, in a Sporting News interview: “That stuff about nice guys finishing last, that is just B.S. There are more nice guys in this world who win than bad guys.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1933, the Chicago Bears won the first NFL championship by defeating the New York Giants, 23-21.

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Trivia answer: Steve Cox of Cleveland, in 1984, and Morten Andersen of New Orleans, in 1991, each kicked 60-yarders.

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Quotebook: Chris Webber on the slumping Washington Bullets: “We’re down, and I want us to be down. I want us depressed. If you keep losing and come into the locker room and throw Gatorade on the coach, something is wrong.”