Here they are, the winners of the...

Here they are, the winners of the 1994 Only in L.A. Signs, Guideposts and Notices competition:

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And what a vibrato!Steve Marshall of Studio City took this shot of one resident’s use of humor to cope with the Northridge quake. Other signs spotted on damaged houses in the San Fernando Valley expressed such sentiments as “We Should Have Used Lego” and “Some Assembly Required.”

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Further evidence of the real estate crash: Bruce Fier photographed a for sale sign in Eagle Rock that seemed to indicate the owner had given up the notion of being paid in dollars and cents. Or was there a Biblical meaning? It was Lot’s wife, you may recall, who turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back to see the destruction of Sodom. Nah. Eagle Rock’s not that close to Hollywood.

Weight Watchers headquarters?Judi Birnberg found a business with a name right at home in health-conscious Southern California. It’s actually a Chinese supermarket in Monterey Park. An employee said the name loosely translates as “prosperous.” Which makes sense, in a way. How much money would we all save if we were able to shun fat?

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That’s easy for them to say: A Montebello resident mailed us a booklet that came with a humidifier he saw in a store. At least we think it’s a humidifier. The directions sound like a Foster Brooks comedy routine. We’re not sure if we’d place a drunk near the gizmo, let alone an infant.

Who says Southern California has no weather?Dave Smith and Jeff Jost each sent us copies of a Ventura County newspaper, which predicted about four seasons’ worth of climate each day back in February. “I wasn’t too sure how to dress,” Smith wrote. “Shorts and earmuffs? Long johns and a tank top?” It’s times like this that we wish Dr. George Fischbeck was back on the meteorological beat.

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Toughest bird in town: From the looks of a Jack in the Box sales receipt, customers who need help after tangling with the Chicken Caesar have some backup. But if you can’t find a security guard, you could just splash the feathered assailant with some of Jack’s Secret Sauce. Works every time.

Freeways We Hate and the Drivers Who Use Them: We’ve previously nominated the San Diego Freeway as the most detested highway in Southern California, partly on the strength of such vanity license plates as HATE 405 and GDDM 405. But filmmaker Fax Bahr photographed a motorcyclist who has a different candidate: the good ol’ Riverside/

Artesia/Redondo Beach Freeway.

Ah, neighbors: K.R. of Studio City shot this sign, placed by a Hollywood resident who evidently doesn’t need anymore free fertilizer.

In our Neighborhood Notices competition, this one narrowly edged out a yard-sale sign that announced: “No Obnoxious Haggling. Polite Bartering Only. Prices Are Fair.” The yard-sale sign was displayed in sophisticated West L.A., of course.

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Telescope to the stars’ homes: On Mulholland Drive, Tom LaBonge snapped a shot of the “Points of Interest” plate on a telescope that lists the most famous sights in the area, including the multi-hued digs of the Material Girl. The Griffith Observatory, of course, offers a look at some stars that are even flashier than Madonna.