Well, People Paid Full Price to See ‘Ishtar’

Bernie Miklasz of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch on replacement players in baseball:

“So the baseball owners, in their benevolence, will be giving the people what they apparently want: vacuum-cleaner salesmen, forklift operators, and rusted Mexican League heroes dressed in baseball costumes, masquerading as major league players.

“How could anyone want to pay to watch scabaseball? If the ticket prices are reduced, so what? Would you pay to see a movie that you know is terrible if it were offered at half the normal admission?”

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Trivia time: What do Vlade Divac and Pat Riley have in common?

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Spaceman: Dusty Baker, San Francisco Giant manager, on spring training:

“This will be without a doubt, the weirdest camp I’ve ever been to. It’s sort of like ‘Star Wars.’ Remember when they blindfolded Luke Skywalker and told him to go on his emotions and feelings? That’s what we’ll all be doing.”

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Lucrative racket: Longtime tennis star Jack Kramer, speaking at a recent luncheon at Mission Hills Country Club in Rancho Mirage, said there was a misconception early on about the pioneering tennis players not doing well financially.

“One of the happiest days of my life,” Kramer said, “was when I was able to tell both Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams that I was making more money than they were.”

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Nameless: The new home of the Boston Celtics and Boston Bruins, replacing Boston Garden, had been called the Shawmut Center. But the bank for which it was named will be bought by Fleet Financial Group Inc., making the 160-year-old Shawmut name history.

Bank executives are evaluating some new names--including, reportedly, Fleet Forum.

Celtics playing at home in the Forum? Ho, ho, ho.

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No shoo-in: If Bob Lanier, who recently replaced Don Nelson as coach of the Golden State Warriors, doesn’t succeed, his shoes will be hard to fill. He wears size-22 shoes.

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Viewpoints: Danny Ainge of the Phoenix Suns on his altercation with Chris Dudley of the Portland Trail Blazers that cost him a $7,500 fine and a one-game suspension:

“I think Dudley is a clumsy player and he can hurt guys because he’s clumsy. But I admire the way he plays. He plays hard.”

Said Dudley: “I always heard he was a dirty player. I found out up close what people were talking about.”

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FYI: UCLA’s basketball-playing O’Bannon brothers obviously have a lot in common--even their given names: Edward Charles O’Bannon Jr. and Charles Edward O’Bannon.

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Looking back: On this day in 1980, Eric Heiden won his fifth gold medal and shattered the world record by six seconds in the 10,000-meter speedskating race at the Winter Olympics in Lake Placid, N.Y.

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Trivia answer: The same jersey numbers when they played for the Lakers: No. 12.

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Quotebook: Jim Riggleman, the new manager of the Chicago Cubs: “I try to have respect for people in general, whether it’s baseball players or lowlifes like the media.”