This Early, Just Make It a Light Bear

When University of Arizona football Coach Dick Tomey returned from a 6 a.m. run during his coaches’ preseason retreat in the mountains, he found a full-grown black bear rummaging through a cooler a few feet from sleeping assistant Jeff Hammerschmidt.

Tomey crept into the cabin and called to Hammerschmidt in a loud whisper, “Hammer! Bear! Hammer! Bear!

The defensive backfield coach woke up, and even though he was a bit startled, he didn’t panic.

“I couldn’t understand why he was offering me a beer at 6:30 in the morning,” Hammerschmidt told Greg Hansen of the Arizona Daily Star.

Trivia time: Which school holds the Pacific 10 Conference’s single-game record for yards gained?

Come again?Ryan Collins, Miami Hurricane quarterback, said his team lacked emotion in a 31-8 loss to UCLA last Saturday because they were worried about the recent NCAA crackdown on excessive celebrations.

“People want choirboys instead of football players,” he said.

Give him credit, at least, for an original excuse.

Elementary: When rookie punter Tom Thompson signed with the San Francisco 49ers, he was working on a degree in biochemistry at Oregon. One of his class assignments was in a research lab.

“At the time, I was developing an antibiotic analog,” Thompson said. “Basically it was research on a crown ether compound, a biological mimic of an ion channel.”

Meow?Mike Greenwell, Boston Red Sox outfielder, in the Sporting News on his teammate, Jose Canseco: “He walks around with this big body, and people think of his big ego. But you know what? He’s really a pussycat.”

Hungry coach: Dave Hyde in the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel on Pat Riley’s contract with the Miami Heat:

“He deserves every crumb in the contract he’s negotiating, though whether he can eat every one remains the big question. I mean $300 in per diem? Who’s his agent, Julia Child?”

Looking back: On this day in 1965, Sandy Koufax pitched his fourth no-hitter, a perfect game, against the Chicago Cubs. Koufax struck out 14 in the 1-0 Dodger victory while Cub pitcher Bob Hendley gave up one hit, a double by Lou Johnson.

Trivia answer: USC, with 978 yards against Pomona in 1925.

Quotebook: Joe Montana, on his debut as an NBC pro football commentator: “They try to tell you what to expect, but until you get in there and experience it, you don’t know.”