‘Get That Stupid Jerk off the . . . : Hey, Bring Home Some Milk!’

Lucy Murray of Chicago was watching a Cub game on TV when she saw a man run on the field and charge Randy Myers, Cub relief pitcher.

“I saw two guys rolling on the ground and thought, ‘Who’s that jerk on the field?’ ” she told the Chicago Sun-Times. “I laughed and thought, ‘I’m glad that’s not my husband.’ ”

Wrong. Seconds later, she realized the interloper was John Murray, a 27-year-old bond options trader at the Chicago Board of Trade--and her husband.

“After I found out, I was in shock,” she said. “I know he’s a huge Cubs’ fan . . . but he’s never done anything like this. I’m appalled.”

Trivia time: Reader Nick Saitta asks, what do Sandy Koufax, Elston Howard and Jim Brown have in common?

Imagine that: The Kings’ 6-5 overtime victory over Chicago on Tuesday night was their first overtime victory at home since a 4-3 decision over Hartford on Jan. 8, 1991.

One way in: Montreal Expo pitcher Greg Harris is not likely to get into baseball’s Hall of Fame, but his special six-finger glove will make it.

Harris wore the glove on Sept. 28 when he pitched both left-handed and right-handed against the Cincinnati Reds, the first major leaguer to do that this century.

Contact sport: Pat Riley opened his first training camp as the Miami Heat’s coach by introducing the team to his concept of conditioning. Among the drills was learning how to take a charge. Players were colliding in their desire to please the coach.

“That was like a football drill,” guard-forward Billy Owens said. “We need shoulder pads on for that.”

Good PR: Roberto Alomar was on the bench with a sore back when the Toronto Blue Jays played their final game at home. When a crowd of 47,000 chanted for Alomar to make an appearance, he refused to step out of the dugout and tip his cap to the fans.

“They had all season to see me play,” he reasoned.

Is that a fact?During the recently concluded major league regular season, 1,133 players participated, of whom 550 were pitchers.

Different strokes: Ballplayers sometimes fantasize about what they’ll do when their playing days are over, but Dante Bichette’s dream may be among the most unusual. The Colorado Rocky slugger told Jerry Crasnick of the Denver Post that he would like to return to Class-A ball, perhaps the Florida State League, and play one final year of baseball.

“He wants to ride the buses, stay in budget motels, and introduce his wife, Marianne, to the joys of life in the bushes,” Crasnick wrote.

Tough to do: Only two major league managers have had winning records over the last four seasons. Bobby Cox of the Atlanta Braves is no surprise, but the other might be. It’s Johnny Oates of the Texas Rangers, 74-70 this year and 89-73, 85-77 and 63-49 from 1992-94 with the Baltimore Orioles.

Trivia answer: All won most-valuable-player awards in 1963--and all wore No. 32.

Quotebook: San Francisco 49er linebacker Gary Plummer, when asked by the San Jose Mercury News if he would go to the Raider game when the 49ers had a week off: “Rush Limbaugh is more likely to show up at a NOW convention.”