UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN COURT
Is there a nagging sports agent hanging around campus leaving groceries in your players' refrigerators?
A sleazeball outsider with NFL seed money jeopardizing your school's national championship hopes?
It may be time to call the Law Professionals at USC.
Texas Christian University could be plunking down a dime this morning after the school held standout running back Andre Davis out of Saturday's game against Tulane because of possible contact with an agent.
USC, of course, just slid down this slippery slope with agent Robert Troy Caron, known as "Johnny Appleseed" around Heritage Hall.
The Trojans fought back, filing a lawsuit against Caron.
Caron settled the case out of court, agreeing to pay USC $50,000 and desist from inducing Trojan athletes to break NCAA rules.
THE AGONY OF VICTORY
It appears Northwestern still has a thing or two to learn about winning.
Sam Valenzisi, the Wildcats' kicker, apparently was injured while celebrating during the fourth quarter of Northwestern's 35-0 victory against Wisconsin.
The victory guaranteed Northwestern its first winning season in 24 years and also marked the first time in school history a Wildcat kicker was injured while doing "The Twist."
ORDER IN THE COURT
Notre Dame supporters might have expected more from L.A. Superior Court Judge Robert O'Brien, who issued the court order that allowed USC's Israel Ifeanyi to play in Saturday's game against the Irish.
The court order temporarily blocked the NCAA's suspension of Ifeanyi, a senior defensive end.
The Irish, betrayed by an O'Brien?
Well, this O'Brien has undergraduate and law degrees from USC.
Turns out Ifeanyi was not enough for the Trojans against the Irish, but insiders say O'Brien has scheduled another court order for the week of the UCLA game.
YOU WANT BUTTERED OR PLAIN?
The folks at Iowa State didn't mind those three touchdowns and a field goal in the final 11:10 at Ames in Saturday's 50-28 loss to Colorado at Ames.
But when Colorado attempted and failed on a two-point conversion after the final touchdown, it was Iowa State fans that started pouring it on.
Incensed at such Buffalo bull, Cyclone fans showered Coach Rick Neuheisel with popcorn as he left the field.
Colorado players countered by making unseemly gestures to the crowd.
Neuheisel assured Iowa State it was nothing personal and apologized for his team's behavior.
"I told them that's not the way we act, that's not the way we are," Neuheisel said. "I thought our frustrations got the best of us in that situation and we'll correct that."
QUART LOW AND A BRICK SHORT
That's what I'm telling ya, Buford, I couldn't get rid of a single one.
"Look at this," lamented one peddler with a full complement of tickets fanned out like a poker hand. "Right on the 50-yard line; 10 of 'em. You can't get rid of these."
How do you explain it, having to eat tickets for the much ballyhooed Auburn-Western Michigan game at Auburn?
The schools have been rivals for, what, minutes now?
Hey, it was your loss. No. 13 Auburn called off the dogs in the end and settled for a 34-13 victory.
Rumor is the peddler still has Slippery Rock duckets he couldn't unload a few years ago.
OVER THE HAM GANG
If the Governor of Virginia was anything like his father, he would not have made the usual cliche bet with the Governor of Texas before Saturday's game between the Cavaliers and Longhorns.
You know the drill: If Virginia loses, it sends Texas a honey-baked ham; if Texas falls, it ships a side of barbecue ribs.
No, if the Governor of Virginia was anything like his father, he would have infiltrated Texas' practices this week with spies and found a way to beat the Longhorns.
Instead, Texas prevailed, 17-16.
And Virginia Governor George Allen, son of the late and legendary coach of same name, packed up a ham and shipped it off to Austin.
HOLD THE TORTILLAS FOR RICE
Unlike last week against Arkansas State, when fans cost Texas Tech three penalties by tossing tortillas on the field after scores, there were no incidents in No. 25 Texas Tech's 31-26 victory over Rice at Lubbock, Tex.
WHEW, ANOTHER CLOSE ONE
The streak continues.
Notre Dame Coach Lou Holtz still hasn't met an opponent he thought his team could beat.
Holtz, king of the poor-mouthers, once again vastly overrated his opponent this week.
"This is, I think, the very best Southern Cal team I've seen in my 10 years so far," Holtz said. "I can't think of a weakness that they have."
Ok, maybe one.
Notre Dame 38, USC 10.
JUST RUB A LITTLE DIRT ON IT
One minute, you're in surgery, the next you're covering No. 88.
Sean Hamlet, on the sidelines in street clothes recovering from arthroscopic surgery on his right knee two weeks ago, was dispatched to the locker room to suit up in Florida State's 42-10 victory over Georgia Tech. Hamlet was summoned when safety Shevin Smith broke his right arm on the first series of the game.
Hamlet's knee was declared sound after he did a couple of test runs on the sideline. He replaced Smith for the rest of the game.
THAT'S RIGHT, PAL, MORE WINS THAN BEAR BRYANT
It was another tears and tissue day for St. John's of Minnesota Coach John Gagliardi, who moved past Bear Bryant into second place on the career coaching victory list.
With his 324th victory--35-14 over against Carleton--Gagliardi trails only Grambling State's Eddie Robinson on the all-divisions victory list. Robinson recorded his 400th last week.
Gagliardi's record of 324-98-10 dates back to 1949.
Asked if he might someday surpass the 76-year-old Robinson on the all-time victory list, the 61-year-old Gagliardi said, "I just want to outlive the guy."
HEY, WHAT'S THAT BIG YELLOW THING IN THE SKY?
Minnesota's game at Michigan State was the Golden Gophers first outdoor game this season. Minnesota had played its four home games at Minneapolis' Metrodome and its previous road game at Syracuse's Carrier Dome.
ALL IN THE FAMILY
Greg Smith, son of NFL great Jackie Smith, ran for two touchdowns and scored another on a 35-yard pass play in Dartmouth's 35-14 romp over Colgate . . . Mike Fouts, nephew of Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Fouts, threw two touchdown passes in the final minute to rally Utah to a 22-21 victory over Air Force.
STREAKS AND STUFF
Iowa State's 50-28 loss to Colorado was the Cyclones' 12th consecutive Big Eight defeat. . . . Michigan State posted its 15th consecutive win over Minnesota with a 34-31 victory. . . . Nebraska ran its string of consecutive victories against Kansas State to 27 with a 49-25 victory over the Wildcats. . . . Florida State extended its conference winning streak to 29 and remained unbeaten since joining the ACC with a 42-10 victory over Georgia Tech.
Toledo's Wasean Tait ran for 224 yards in 41 carries and scored a touchdown in a 35-16 victory over Bowling Green. . . . Danny Kanell of Florida State went 41 of 51 for 302 yards and four touchdowns in a 42-10 victory over Georgia Tech.
Marvin Harrsion of Syracuse caught nine passes for a career-high 213 yards in a 22-0 victory over West Virginia. . . . Kanon Parkman kicked four field goals in Georgia's 12-3 victory over Kentucky. . . . Michael Penix scored four touchdowns and rushed for 208 yards in Tennessee Tech's 36-29 victory over Morehead State.
Rabih Abdullah ran for a career-high 266 yards and five touchdowns as Lehigh defeated Cornell, 34-23. . . . Troy Davis, who leads the nation in rushing, finished with 203 yards in 33 carries and three touchdowns in Iowa State's 50-28 loss to Colorado. . . . Tommie Frazier threw for a career-high four touchowns in Nebraska's 49-25 victory over Kansas State.
Unheralded sophomore Matt Moore, filling in for suspended running back Andre Davis, had 98 yards and a touchdown to lead Texas Christian to a 16-11 victory over Tulane.
Notre Dame Coach Lou Holtz, before his team's 38-10 victory over USC:
"Southern Cal players, I have no idea what they scored on the SAT. But football wise, they're brilliant. They can find the football better than any team I've seen and they've got unbelievable speed." Northwestern Coach Gary Barnett, after his team's 35-0 victory against Wisconsin:
"I don't care what the country says. People thought we were Cinderella and sooner or later the glass slipper was going to come off.That didn't look like Cinderella out there today." Auburn Coach Terry Bowden, after his team's 34-13 victory against unheralded Western Michigan:
"They say your players can't get up for every game, and I say, 'Why Not? There's only 11" --Compiled by Bob Cuomo and Chris Dufresne.
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TOP PERFORMERS PASSING
Player Comp. Att. Yds. TD MAXWELL, Nevada 35 50 535 3 J. MARTIN, Louisiana Tech 37 65 455 3 SAUTER, Minnesota 24 37 404 4 SHERMAN, Iowa 21 28 374 2 FOUTS, Utah 20 38 355 3 TANEYHILL, So. Carolina 31 40 354 5 FISCHER, Duke 31 46 347 1 BANKS, Michigan St. 15 26 309 2 KANELL, Florida St. 41 51 302 4
Player Carries Yards TD ABDUL-JABBAR, UCLA 42 261 4 JONES, San Diego St. 19 253 2 RENAUD, Michigan St. 35 229 2 TAIT, Toledo 41 224 1 J. MOORE, Oklahoma 18 219 2 DAVIS, Iowa St. 33 203 3 WILSON, Utah St. 38 190 2 WILSON, Nevada 31 188 0 HARLEY, East Carolina 38 175 1
Player No. Yards TD MACKEY, Louisiana Tech 17 234 2 VAN DYKE, Nevada 16 272 3 ALEXANDER, Utah St. 14 205 1 HARRIS, Wyoming 11 189 2 ROCHE, San Jose St. 11 114 1 RUNNING, Kansas St. 10 110 1 COOPER, Florida St. 10 103 1 HARRISON, Syracuse 9 213 1 DYSON, Utah 8 166 2