Can They Find Remote Villages Without Cable?

Soccer players in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, have been banished to remote areas by police for match-fixing and bribery, according to the Associated Press.

Since April, more than 50 players and some coaches have been relocated to remote villages for indefinite periods. But local newspapers reported that the punishment wasn’t effective because those banished had been seen enjoying themselves in local cinemas and restaurants.

A government official said offenders will now be sent to areas that have no entertainment. Is Siberia an option?

Trivia time: Which school holds the NCAA Division I-A football record for fewest turnovers in a season?

Ear-ache: Phil Jackson, Chicago Bull coach, was asked if newly acquired Dennis Rodman has given the team any surprises.

“Basketball-wise, no,” Jackson said. “The fact that he has a pressurized ring in his ear, yes. He needs a special tool to get it out.”

Add Rodman: Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune wrote that the acquisition of Rodman may benefit the Bulls:

“Not every garden slug ruins the tomatoes. Not every tattooed, navel-ringed, tangerine-haired, self-absorbed circus geek refuses to work well with others.”

Biting the bullet: John Majors, University of Pittsburgh coach, on the controversy of top-ranked football teams running up the score:

“I never asked for mercy and I don’t intend to ask for mercy after 28 years of coaching. We have a choice as coaches. You can take the job, or not take it.”

Late shot: Joe Dirck of the Cleveland Plain Dealer on the difference between Indian fans and Seattle Mariner fans:

“Remember, win or lose, we’ll still be Indians fans. But you just know the Seattle fans will lose interest in baseball soon enough and go back to the sport that’s really closest to their hearts. Professional log-rolling.”

Ouch!From comedian Boats Johnson: “Given the unscrupulous nature of profiteer Jerry Jones, perhaps Texas Stadium should be referred to as ‘The House That Ruthlessness Built.’ ”

Smaller Unit: Randy Johnson, the outstanding pitcher for the Mariners, was not exactly The Big Unit when he pitched for USC from 1983-1985.

His overall record was 16-12 with a 4.66 earned-run average. He pitched 243 innings, had 206 strikeouts and walked 188.

Traveling triple: Pittsburgh Pirate catcher Mark Parent, not known for his speed, has gone 10 consecutive big league seasons without a triple.

However, he did have two triples while playing for the San Diego Padres’ Triple-A team in La Vegas in 1987.

Pirate coach Rich Donnelly wonders how that was possible. “Where did those balls roll to--the lobby of Caesars Palace?” Donnelly asked.

FYI: In USC’s last seven games at South Bend, Ind., Notre Dame has defeated the Trojans by an average score of 30-13.

Trivia answer: Miami of Ohio, with eight in 1966.

Quotebook: Orlando’s Anfernee Hardaway, saying he isn’t worried about the Bulls’ getting Rodman: “There’s a lot of trouble he can get into in Chicago.”